BLACK BART Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 No, not me. A customer! Late yesterday afternoon the office door suddenly jerked open and in swooped a large woman fully-shrouded in a gray plastic cape; arms held straight out wide to the side and wiggling her fingers with some kind of goop smeared all over her hair and face. The appearance was of a cross between a pterodactyl and a W.D. extra -- through a Joker-like grin she said "I'm letting everything dry." Then, "What do you charge for taxes?" Startled, I realized she must have walked from Kay's Kuts 'N' Kurls a few doors down where they were evidently giving her "the Full Monty". BB (recovered): "Uh, what do you have?" PWD: "One W-2, no kids, no credits." BB: "$75 to $95." PWD: "Okay; see you on the 18th." With swirling cape and slammed door she was gone before I could say we might be busy that day...... 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 25 minutes ago, BLACK BART said: we might be busy that day...... lock the door on the 18th; give existing clients a password for entry.... 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jklcpa Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 Caption: "On April 18th, Mr Tax Preparer headed outta Dodge as those last-minute so-special clients are after him to do just one more return." Sorry I couldn't find one of the TWD zombies clawing at a locked door or gate. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lion EA Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 ^ This is what I feel like today. Everyone is contacting me to see if I'll prepare their return, not wanting an extension. It's after 3 p.m., and I finally answered everyone and got some info I needed and e-filed one from yesterday who uploaded her signatures today and ate a small piece of leftover meatloaf. Finally going to proofread one I prepared yesterday that picks up tomorrow. Not going to finish the ones I thought. I expect an uprising of unhappy clients! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxxcpa Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 5 hours ago, BLACK BART said: PWD: "One W-2, no kids, no credits." BB: "$75 to $95." we might be busy that day...... Too busy to do a return that would take 5 minutes or less? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schirallicpa Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 I have a good-ole bulldog Brit for a secretary, and she has told everyone that forms and money have to be in the office by Friday afternoon. PERIOD. Monday we will be here but we are not filing any more taxes we are only efiling and double checking that we got everyone. Tuesday I have to be out of town with my daughter. I haven't decided if my secretary should be here Tuesday or if we should just lock up for the day. But she will be wanting to file and cleanup the mess. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack from Ohio Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 1 hour ago, taxxcpa said: Too busy to do a return that would take 5 minutes or less? How do you do a brand new client, whose information will contain much more than he says on the phone in 5 minutes? If you can do that, I want to hire you... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BART Posted April 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 1 hour ago, taxxcpa said: Too busy to do a return that would take 5 minutes or less? Well...see; it depends! I might just happen to be doing a $500 last-minute return for a tardy but repeat Johnny-come-lately customer and I'd rather not lose him by getting bogged down with Godzilla-woman's $75 job (I've seen many a "five-minute short-form" devolve into a time-burning royal PIA). You run your shop your way and I'll do the same. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 11 minutes ago, BLACK BART said: Well...see; it depends! I might just happen to be doing a $500 last-minute return for a tardy but repeat Johnny-come-lately customer and I'd rather not lose him by getting bogged down with Godzilla-woman's $75 job (I've seen many a "five-minute short-form" devolve into a time-burning royal PIA). Every Godzilla-woman I know talks your head off and forgets half her forms. The other half have that oily goop from the beauty shop all over them and you can't read the numbers. Probably have to explain to her why she can't claim her 30 cats. You'll be lucky if you can get her address and SSN for the extension request in five minutes. ISTG. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BHoffman Posted April 14, 2017 Report Share Posted April 14, 2017 Hahaha!! "Swirling cape". Hahaha!! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BART Posted April 14, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2017 22 hours ago, BLACK BART said: ...You run your shop your way and I'll do the same. Dear taxxcpa, I extend my apologies; I didn't really mean to be so short and snippy - bad day (or rotten disposition my better half says) I guess. You've got a point though; it is kind of like passing up $75 laying on the ground. On the other hand, like Jack said - I cain't hardly get 'em to sit down and shut up in less than five minutes 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BHoffman Posted April 14, 2017 Report Share Posted April 14, 2017 Rotten disposition. My husband has acted like he hates me more with every passing day this tax season. It's been the worst on record. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NECPA in NEBRASKA Posted April 14, 2017 Report Share Posted April 14, 2017 1 hour ago, BHoffman said: Rotten disposition. My husband has acted like he hates me more with every passing day this tax season. It's been the worst on record. My husband doesn't hate me, but I hate everyone else. It kills me to have to talk to anyone and not cry or scream. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted April 15, 2017 Report Share Posted April 15, 2017 1 hour ago, NECPA in NEBRASKA said: My husband doesn't hate me, but I hate everyone else. It kills me to have to talk to anyone and not cry or scream. My husband deserves a medal for putting up with me this past week. I have *never* had so many problems surrounding extensions. Ever. In twenty years. Nor have I ever spent a week ready to tear off *anyone's* head if they look at me wrong. I am past done, past fried, past zorched, and into the fully carbonized stage. All of you here - love you - we know what we're all going through. Thank you all for putting up with me. And if you want an address to send my husband's medal to, send me a PM... 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jklcpa Posted April 15, 2017 Report Share Posted April 15, 2017 I've been pretty miserable because of some clients this season too. My husband told me this evening that I should scrap the whole thing and do something totally different. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack from Ohio Posted April 15, 2017 Report Share Posted April 15, 2017 I am taking out my frustrations by listing my clients in the order of PITA they are. Largest on top. When I feel a fit of rage coming on, I call up the top of the list and fire them! No explanations, simply that I will not be able to help them with their taxes for 2017. Seems to have a calming effect. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BART Posted April 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 15, 2017 5 hours ago, BHoffman said: Rotten disposition. My husband has acted like he hates me more with every passing day this tax season. It's been the worst on record. _______________________________________ It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. ------ DISRAELI (from: Best Quotations - Lewis C. Henry) / 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richcpaman Posted April 15, 2017 Report Share Posted April 15, 2017 My Wife has been a tremendous amount of support this year. I really love her. She knows that this is a crazy time, so she helps with the extensions, and the some light inputting, and picking up dinner as needed. Plus she also works full-time elsewhere. She has learned not to suggest that I find a different job when I complain. This is my career, this is what I do, and I will continue to do it till I retire. I can complain to her, and she just listens. That is a skill that I learned when listening to her... The only thing she will NOT let me complain about? When I say something like: "I should have done THAT in November!" She shuts me down on that. We just keep on, keeping on. Rich 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BART Posted April 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 15, 2017 2 hours ago, Richcpaman said: My Wife has been a tremendous amount of support this year. I really love her... I'm pretty sure we all feel like that about our significant others (would be tough finding better/cheaper replacements), but I'm in Ms. Hoffman's camp this time - we've bickered more this season than I can ever remember (if IRS adds one more line to 8867 I'm goin' to Little Rock myself and carry one of those protest signs). We're still speaking, but we've had a venting system in place for some years. I slam down officer machinery - she throws staplers (no; not at each other/in the presence of clients). So far I'm down two Canon calculators and a couple of wastebaskets while she's out 3-Ace Cadets/1-Paper Pro staplers. I figure it's about the best $300 or so I've ever spent. If I ever switch to that Judy's ten-key thing I'll go nuts - can't afford to body-slam my Dell computer. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Overheard joke: "Have you heard Bill's wife is leaving him for another guy?" "No. Who?" "She said: ANYBODY ELSE!" 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jklcpa Posted April 15, 2017 Report Share Posted April 15, 2017 BB, you've given me a great idea on what to do with that old laptop that's waiting for destruction. Hope it doesn't cause a trip to the ER for stitches. hee hee. Just kidding, of course. I don't know how my last post translated into my husband not being supportive. There's no arguing; I made a comment in frustration and he commented. Y'all didn't hear the context or tone. It was a release valve is all, and I assure you that all is well. We'll be celebrating our 25th anniversary next month so husband has been through many tax seasons, and every year he's done about 99% of the grocery shopping and cooking too, and he does some pretty good meals, I must say! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BHoffman Posted April 15, 2017 Report Share Posted April 15, 2017 Judy, I think BB was talking about my complaint. When I'm tired, I get pretty negative in my thoughts. When I'm over stressed, I have trouble eating and sleeping. Two nights in a row, he rolled over and took the covers with him. In a row. So, for two days I got about 6 hours of sleep. I complained and said I was going to sleep in the guest room. Got the big silent treatment from him and cold shoulder. So, I continued to sleep in our bed and the "tuck and roll" stopped. In my mind, I figured he was just playing some passive aggressive game to get even with me for being generally grouchy but not overtly nasty during the best of tax seasons. My appetite sucks when I'm over stressed. I usually only eat to survive and need lots of lean protein and veggies. Carbs and fried stuff just don't work. And, I need to have dinner by 7pm or else I can't hope to sleep before midnight. He made absolutely no effort to help me out with that, so I ended up spending a fortune on meals delivered by DoorDash and that restaurant food with my nerves ran right through me. I am a little OCD all of time, but it comes out in full force during tax season. If I don't have that diet ginger ale at 3pm, the world will surely end. He is supposed to do all of the shopping during tax season because part of my OCD involves germaphobia and grocery stores are filthy dens of disease. He left me without the ginger ale for about four days until I stopped asking and also stopped speaking to him. Years ago, he used to protect my sleep and guard my health during tax season. I don't know what has changed, but he just seemed not to care this year. I think we need to talk, kindly and as the friends we used to be. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FDNY Posted April 15, 2017 Report Share Posted April 15, 2017 I think you need Rita to give him a talking to, then everything will be fine after the 18th when he takes you out to dinner and tells you he's sorry. This business is hard on our spouses these 3 months, so we need to be the better person and understand their frustrations, I know, I've been buying her a new pair of shoes every week. And that helps to keep the covers on my side. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jklcpa Posted April 15, 2017 Report Share Posted April 15, 2017 Well, I'm sorry to hear what you go through, B. I don't sleep well either, but nothing like that. My comment was in response to what Rich said after I made the comment saying my husband said I should scrap the biz and do something else and Rich replied that his wife has learned not to suggest a different job because this is his career, blah, blah, blah. Well, this is my career too, been doing this since '81 and don't see that changing any time soon. I was venting one night and husband understands that, even if I described it wrong on here. Sorry I even mentioned it at all. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack from Ohio Posted April 15, 2017 Report Share Posted April 15, 2017 I am going to find some chemical geniuses to help me create a liquid... This liquid would be absorbed instantly into any papers we give to our clients. It would also instantly infuse through their skin when they touch the paper. The liquid would have a psychosomatic drug mixture that would go immediately to their brain. There it would implant, in the correct neurons, the instinct to follow ALL instructions given to them by their tax accountant. It would also replace the neurons that contain common sense, logic and manners. I am currently looking for investors.... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richcpaman Posted April 15, 2017 Report Share Posted April 15, 2017 JK: No Harm, No foul. My Wife asked me to get a cushy government job 20 years ago. I should go work for the IRS, or the State. I said, "No WAY". That is the Dark Side!" But... the continuing suggestions that I should quit/change careers made me angry over time, and then we talked about it frankly. She doesn't suggest it anymore. Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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