Slickbooks

[BLACK BART]

Drat!  I thought I'd moved far enough South that civilization couldn't locate me down here on Pigeon Roost Pike (had to move-Possum Grape got "gentrified"), but that dang 21st century keeps creepin' in.

A while back some lost sheep carrying a sheaf of QuickBooks papers strayed in; said a big-town CPA threw 'em out, and would I save them from the 10-15 guillotine? Sacrifice is demanded here since I've never done a QB case before (hard to believe, I know; I keep up-to-date {own a cell phone}).  They printed out the whole set of books, I located the P&L, and it all seems laid-out okay: sales, m'dse. cost, utilities, insurance, supplies, etc. except for one little item ($40K) oddly entitled "Ask The Tax Man" (I anticipate a bit of diggin' on that one).  This has apparently been goin' on for years, so I don't think I'll go back later and unearth any buried bodies. Anything else I need to know?  The last "real" set of books I saw was in 1975 - a big cloth-bound ledger held together with those screw-together steel extensions (if you recognize those you're a bit long-in-the-tooth too - sure was fun trying to balance those columnar pages).

 Now I got to figure out what to charge - this case is different from my usual clientele.  Here's a more typical one - the story was dug up from ten years ago (I just love to read my own stuff....)

"...a feisty gal came in and set down a 13 gallon garbage sack full of tickets, bills, receipts, scribbled notices, and a half-eaten sandwich; asked "How much for income tax?"  While ordinarily applying  scientific business metric platform-pricing analysis, I had unfortunately loaned the bathroom scales to my cousin last week.  Forced to rely on keen business acumen and shrewd Kentucky windage (she's got 11 rent houses), I hoisted the sack, gave it a good theatrical lookin'-at, and (trying to sound assertive) declared "500 bucks."  "Done!" she said. 

[Catherine]

Whatever you think you should charge, add a 30% fudge factor to the estimate.  Almost no one is upset at paying less.

[RitaB]

I wish so much that folks who don't know how to use bookkeeping software just wouldn't.  My new guy with the retail store sent me an income statement to use for estimated tax payment purposes. 

Me:  Is sales tax included in your gross sales?

New Guy:  I don't know.

Me:  See this sales tax in the expenses?  Sales tax is not deducted as an expense unless you've included it in your sales.

New Guy:  Wow, I think you're right.  Why is there?

[JohnH]

Bart:  You might have made out better with the scales.  But don't make the mistake the general store owner made one time.  A customer came in and said she needed a whole chicken. He reached down into the ice chest behind the counter and put one on the scale that weighed about 3 lb.  She thought for a minute and said "that might not be big enough".  When he put the chicken back in the ice chest, he realized this was his last one.  So he swished it around in the ice, placed it back on the scale, and slipped his thumb on the scale so it read about 4 lb.  She thought for a couple of minutes and said, "I'm still not sure 4 lb is enough for my family - I'll just take both of them."

[Lee B]

1 hour ago, RitaB said:

I wish so much that folks who don't know how to use bookkeeping software just wouldn't.  My new guy with the retail store sent me an income statement to use for estimated tax payment purposes. 

Me:  Is sales tax included in your gross sales?

New Guy:  I don't know.

Me:  See this sales tax in the expenses?  Sales tax is not deducted as an expense unless you've included it in your sales.

New Guy:  Wow, I think you're right.  Why is there?

I am so happy that Oregon has no sales tax. It's extended my career by years. 

[Edsel]

40 minutes ago, cbslee said:

I am so happy that Oregon has no sales tax. It's extended my career by years. 

Oregon - no sales tax.  Washington - no income tax. 

Do y'all have border wars?  People crossing the river to buy groceries?  Crossing the river to get a job??

I don't even know what river it is.  Snake?  Columbia?  Both?

 

[Edsel]

I wish QB had never been invented.  Yes, it works.  Yes, it has capabilities. 

But yes, it allows any irstwhile business to create their own accounting mess.  When the advertised features of a product tell you

1. This will allow you to do anything you want to do, and
2. You can do everything yourself

...then you end up with what you deserve...

[Catherine]

The trick (which I struggle with myself) is *not* to think of these poor deluded people as "problem clients" but rather as "walking annuities" because of the repeat business!

[Randall]

3 hours ago, BLACK BART said:

"...a feisty gal came in and set down a 13 gallon garbage sack full of tickets, bills, receipts, scribbled notices, and a half-eaten sandwich; asked "How much for income tax?"  While ordinarily applying  scientific business metric platform-pricing analysis, I had unfortunately loaned the bathroom scales to my cousin last week.  Forced to rely on keen business acumen and shrewd Kentucky windage (she's got 11 rent houses), I hoisted the sack, gave it a good theatrical lookin'-at, and (trying to sound assertive) declared "500 bucks."  "Done!" she said. 

This one I wouldn't do at all.  I'm too old to sort thru all that.