kcjenkins Posted June 9, 2014 Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcjenkins Posted June 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxtrio Posted June 9, 2014 Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 Best Speeding Excuse Ever! When asked by a young patrol office, "Do you know you were speeding?" The 83 year old woman gave the young officer an ear-to-ear smile and stated: "Yes, but .... I had to get there before I forgot where I was going." The officer put his ticket book away and bid her good day! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcjenkins Posted June 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 That one needs a "Loved it" button! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcjenkins Posted June 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 The Pastor's Talk A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he decided he couldn't tell his prim and proper wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members. A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made. She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he's only tried it twice. The first time he fell off, and the second time he got so sore he could hardly walk." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted June 9, 2014 Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 Here's one that is a bit rude, but neither crude nor lewd: http://fellowshipoftheminds.com/2014/06/09/the-very-first-ever-blonde-guy-joke-and-well-worth-the-wait/ An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, ‘Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.’ The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, ‘Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I’m going to jump off, too.’ The blonde opened his lunch and said, ‘ Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I’m jumping too.’ The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman’s wife was weeping. She said, ‘If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!’ The Mexican’s wife also wept and said, ‘I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn’t realize he hated burritos so much.’ (Oh this is GOOD!!) Everyone turned and stared at the blonde’s wife. The blonde’s wife said, ‘Don’t look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch.’ 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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