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  1. 10 points
    a while back, after much frustration i changed my Oxford insurance password to "thisisb*s*f*koxford" all spelled out. Well one day my secretary had to deal with them on an issue and they asked her for the password verbally. Boy was she embarrassed to say it over the phone.
  2. 9 points
    And here is one version of an old story. WARNING: potty-mouth terms used as you get farther in. Password reset A man was was unable to log into his online banking account and he pulled up the online chat support. "I put in my password and I cannot access my account" "Sorry that password has expired - you must register a new one." "Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?" "No, but your password has expired - you must get a new one." "Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty well?" "Well, you must get a new one as they automatically expire every 90 days." "Can I use the old one and just re-register it?" "No, you must get a new one." "I don't want a new one as that is one more thing for me to remember." "Sorry, you must get a new one." "OK, roses." "Sorry you must use more letters." "OK, pretty roses" "No good, you must use at least one numerical character." "OK, 1 pretty rose" "Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." "OK, 1prettyrose" "Sorry, you must use additional characters." "OK, 1fuckingprettyrose" "Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter." "OK,1FUCKINGprettyrose" "Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row." "OK, 1Fuckingprettyrose" "Sorry, you cannot use that password as you must use additional letters." "OK, 1Fuckingprettyroseshovedupyourassifyoudon'tgivemeaccessrightfuckingnow" "Sorry, you cannot use that password as it is already being used"
  3. 9 points
    It's more like a combo of the (old) tie and a new-not-improved big giant clown bow tie with the expansion to include up to six schedules. lol
  4. 8 points
    But I already paid tax (10%) on my IRA, so I didn't have to give you the form.
  5. 8 points
    I know good and well that I am NOT typing in my password incorrectly for ATX. Well, I'll show them. Not only will I slow it down, I will break fingernails pounding out those characters on this keyboard. Take that! Just once, I want them to say, "Close enough," and let me in.
  6. 8 points
    I prepared certification forms for my clients to sign who have CTC, ACTC, ODC, or OATC on their tax returens. I do not have enough HOH or EITC clients to worry about standardized forms. I have my clients read through the IRS garbage and then sign the certification, which I keep in my file as proof that I tried to be an IRS agent for a few minutes qand grill my clients. Most of the clients comment about the IRS language, especially about the definition of "dependent" for many of the credits. It gives them a new perspective of what we have to put up with year after year with more and more clarifications and exceptions to prior definitions. One client even said "Is the IRS nuts or what?" I just smiled . Anyhow, I have attached the forms I produced in case others would like to adopt them or modify them for their use. CTC, , ODC CERTIFICATION.pdf AOTC TAX CREDIT CERTIFICATION.pdf
  7. 8 points
    Think I've got that guy now - he poured his box of expenses on top of the desk. I said "Great. Where's the income?" The astonished reply: "You want that too?"
  8. 8 points
    The new 1040 would be a bow tie.
  9. 7 points
    Hell froze over today. Not one but TWO of my clients came up with their original purchase docs for stocks bought in the 1980s and '90s! One even had the annual statements of reinvested dividends (which I had to add up, but I was so overcome with joy that I didn't mind).
  10. 7 points
    "Here are four tickets from the Salvation Army. You see I took 12 bags to them. How much will that help?" "What was in these bags? Did you make a list?" "Clothes, some kitchen appliances... No, I didn't make a list; don't you have a general amount that you can claim?" To myself: "Oh yeah, I have an amount in mind...."
  11. 7 points
    I hate Form 8283 with the power of 1000 suns.
  12. 7 points
    Yes - years ago I advised a client to take a photo of what was donated. So the next year he came back and showed me the photos - photos of stuffed black garbage bags.
  13. 7 points
    I think the second one is for the amounts found by the client while looking at the ceiling.
  14. 6 points
    I believe it is important to verify the balance sheet numbers you will be going forward with when taking on a corp or partnership. Just recently I took on S-corp in which balance sheet was a mess. Had a note receivable that shareholder was unaware of and prior CPA had no documentation of. Also some prior AAA had been co-mingled with capital stock, and there was additional paid in capital that nobody could explain. Accrued payroll liabilities seemed high and it turned out they had made incorrect journal entries so the liability kept growing as they added another layer to it every year. This came from a firm that has a poor history of quality control. Preparer basically said that was the way she found it when turned over by retired partner. Client got over $5,000 of bogus deductions over the years. Back to your post, you raise some good questions but as others have mentioned do not cross the line of handing out legal advice. Also I would not recommend legal zoom over reference to a reputable attorney.
  15. 6 points
    I work up a return - client failed to tell me she sold one of her rentals. grrrrr Then when it is time to pick up the return hands me a stack of MLP K-1s she had never had before. Then wonders can she sign the return while she's in the office? Will it be done today?
  16. 6 points
    Darn, I was hoping they could file as a threesome.
  17. 6 points
    I'm the same way - didn't mean it like it sounded. Some days I'm shell-shocked by five (closing time) after dealing with clients all day, but am a night person and can recoup after supper and two hours rest. I don't take any clients after five but can get a lot of work done between seven and midnight (or later) with nobody to interrupt. By late clients I meant I'm still getting some heavy-duty cases to work. The quick-refund-big-box franchise down the street now has an empty parking lot and is looking out the door hungrily 'cause their clientele has already come and gone.
  18. 6 points
    I start early, so by 5pm, there is nothing much nice about me. If I took clients in the evenings, I'd be arrested by my own son, for murder. I think we should all get Medals of Honor when we get through a season without killin' somethin'!
  19. 6 points
    Cases detailed in the IRS report related to payroll and employment taxes included: •The owner of a Mississippi security company was sentenced to two years in prison, three years of supervised release, and restitution for failing to pay withheld taxes. The owner of the company entered into an agreement with the IRS to pay the taxes in installments, but did not make payments and attempted to avoid IRS levies by transferring the company’s assets to new companies. Some of the taxes owed were collected, but the owner was to pay $165,076 in restitution, which was the amount of taxes still owed. •The owner of a Rhode Island staffing agency was sentenced to two years in prison, three years of supervised release, and restitution for failing to report wages paid and tax withheld. The owner of the company withheld federal taxes from employees’ pay, but did not report about $4.3 million in wages paid to the IRS. The company evaded paying about $1.3 million in withheld taxes and employer contributions. •A co-owner of 11 Massachusetts restaurants was sentenced to 30 months in prison for a scheme to avoid paying income and employment taxes, the IRS said. Employees of the restaurants were paid in cash, and federal employment taxes were not withheld or paid to the IRS, the agency said. The employers misrepresented the number of employees working at the restaurants and the wages they were paid, and did not file Forms W-2, the IRS said. Additionally, the restaurants’ income and wages paid were misrepresented to tax preparers, leading to the filing of false tax returns, the IRS said. The restaurants’ payroll was also understated to workers’ compensation providers, reducing premiums owed. The co-owner of the restaurants was to pay $2.3 million in restitution to the IRS. •The owner of an Illinois scrap-iron refining company was sentenced to one year in prison, one year of supervised release, and restitution for concealing from the IRS wages paid to employees. The owner of the company paid at least $11.6 million in cash wages to at least 50 employees and did not withhold taxes under the Federal Insurance Contributions Act and Medicare. The owner was to pay $1.3 million in restitution. •The owner of a Nevada home-care provider was sentenced to a year and a day in prison and restitution for evading payment of withheld employment taxes and penalties. The employees of the provider had employment taxes withheld from their pay, but the taxes were not paid to the IRS. The agency assessed penalties against the provider’s owner, but the owner attempted to avoid paying the penalties or taxes owed, including by changing the name of the business. The owner was to pay $1.2 million in restitution, the IRS said. •The owner of a Missouri school bus provider was sentenced to three years in prison and restitution for failing to pay about $1.7 million in withheld employment taxes to the IRS. The owner of the company did not deposit withheld income, FICA, or Medicare taxes, and did not pay the FICA employer contribution, the Justice Department said in a news release. The company operated under three names, and each of the company’s identities accumulated unpaid employment taxes, the department said. The owner was to pay restitution of $1.7 million. •The chief executive officer of a Virginia software company was sentenced to 21 months in prison, three years of supervised release, and restitution for failing to pay withheld employment taxes to the IRS. The CEO and vice president of finance of the company paid some employees by manually bypassing the company’s payroll and accounting systems. The employees received the correct amount of pay, including taxes deducted, but the taxes were not paid to the IRS. The company in turn reported incorrect amounts of tax owed on Forms 941, Employer’s Quarterly Federal Tax Return. Additionally, the company did not pay all of employees’ voluntary retirement contributions to the company retirement plan. The CEO and vice president were to pay more than $1.8 million in restitution for the unpaid taxes. It warms my heart to see these scoundrels pay for their idiocy!
  20. 6 points
    And I bet your script has no broken fingernails and never curses.
  21. 6 points
    Put a warm corona beer in your hand and people might mistake you for Chaz. Tom Modesto, CA
  22. 6 points
    Yeah, I don't start one if I know something is missing, but it seems like every other one I pick up, something is missing. Today: Me: Your Composite Statement from LPL Financial is missing. Lady who actually tried to get me to put a value on empty peanut butter jars she donated to Bible School project: Are you sure? I thought I put that in there. Every. Single. Time.
  23. 6 points
    @jklcpa I think we need to ask Eric for a section in the site that allows for these questions to be answered for a fee. When these non-professionals come to the site, they could be required to put up a credit card, and then we could generate revenue for the site by answering questions. We could do bids to see who will do it for the least amount. Nice way to fund the site? What do you think? Oh, unodish, in about 20 minutes the moderator is going to post the terms of the site you agreed to and lock the thread. We are not a free advice service. This is a site for professionals who help each other, not the general public. You need a tax professional to answer your question. Tom Modesto, CA
  24. 5 points
    Grandsons trump everything else!! My grandson turns 5, on April 25.
  25. 5 points
    It's the sound of that screeching halt when the Sch C info they give you is a mess. No cost basis on brokerage statement and they have no idea. They sold their business on an installment basis and have no contract. OOOOF!
  26. 5 points
    But I didn't take any money out of the brokerage account so it's not income, right?
  27. 5 points
    I'm sure the only reason this exists is so they can add some AI buzzword bullet points to the marketing materials.
  28. 5 points
    Just discovered ATX has a summary of the unadjusted basis of depreciable property. It's under 4562 statements. I was working on an 1120S and calculated the amount manually, then saw this statement. Same amount as I calculated so I must be doing it right.
  29. 5 points
    This is already my favorite new TV show! Can't wait for the next episode.
  30. 5 points
  31. 5 points
    I have a couple of Goodwill donees that never report giving anything to any other worthy causes. But yes, every year here they come with a handful of tickets, no doubt expecting me to place handsome values on their spring cleaning. Even now with the std deduction so ridiculously high they will expect some benefit from this.
  32. 5 points
    I know, EVERYONE forgets their income: biz, rental, brokerage statement, etc., even W-2 when there was a job change.
  33. 5 points
    This new provision states that the spouse of a service member may now deem the service member's home of record as his/her own, even if that spouse never set foot in that state. https://www.army.mil/article/216845/acts_offer_benefits_to_miltary_family_members
  34. 5 points
    The family attribution rules are applied regarding the SEHI. The presentation for that was correct. See IRC Code Section 318's Family Attribution Rules.
  35. 5 points
    I've been doing something pretty close to 1 March each year. Now some simpler ones come in after that and get prepared, but I don't announce that. I think I'm stopping with what I have right now. As it is, I have a 2017 that I promised, partnerships and S-corporations with 15 March deadlines, and a taller than normal stack that arrived as early as 1 February. That's right, I'm a month behind already. My usual flurry is 22 February when a dozen arrive in a day, 20 in a week, leaving me weeks behind suddenly. This year the flurry arrived 12 February, and I've been buried every since. I'm making sure that everyone knows from now on that they ARE going on extension. I don't care if they upload or drop through my mailslot and run, I'm tracking them down to tell them they are on extension. (Well, I do have a couple of March appointments that I rescheduled from February that I guess I have to prepare on time.) The problem clients are the ones that remember dropping off in February and don't remember bringing me more stuff in March; they complain that it takes me three months to prepare their returns.) I answered the door this week in my pajamas to a client dropping off. Well, leggings, tee, and fleece top, with fuzzy slippers. That's how I work when no clients are due. With clients, I still go for comfort: leggings, long-sleeved tee, long vest or sweater, but with actual shoes and socks. I might wear jeans. I might even wear dress slacks. But, I've really lived in leggings since my hip replacement. No tie and blazer, but the long vest or sweater does tie the outfit together a bit.
  36. 5 points
    Especially for clients who don't even have brokerage 1099s until March 15th or K1s until April 1st.
  37. 5 points
    Okay, you derailers; if you don't want to discuss my wardrobe, I'll go with you. My cutoff date is April 15th. All documents must be in house by no later than 5 P.M. that afternoon (not that I'm desperate for trade or anything).
  38. 5 points
    Let me know if you want to borrow my tie, although it is the old 1040 that we dearly miss.
  39. 5 points
    Sometimes the client closes the account . That will generate a check, too.
  40. 5 points
    cbslee - get well soon! That screeching sound when I ask for a year end brokerage account 1099 "Tax form", and instead get 100 pages of various interim statements.
  41. 4 points
    RitaB would remind us that it is OK to kill these clients. I would recommend putting them all on extension. Training to give ALL the documents next year.... tell 'em since this is new information, the returns need to be re-done and you're going at the bottom of the queue. Extension, and next year give me everything the first time (as if they'll do that, hah). I get less forgiving as time goes on.
  42. 4 points
    Yeah, just love it when they call and just found something new that you had no idea because it wasn't on previous year's return. I had one this year with a consolidated 1099 for a brokerage account that was opened 2 years ago, thought it was not taxable and not needed for return.
  43. 4 points
    Just because the Employer screwed up doesn't magically create a QBI deduction.
  44. 4 points
    How was your predecessor coming up with the figures for the 4562? There are no fixed asset schedules for any of the clients in prior year files or workpapers? If this former preparer was using another software program to generate the figures for the 4562, it might be easier to purchase that program too rather than starting to input all from scratch into ATX in the middle of this season, then deal with moving all of it to ATX when you aren't so busy.
  45. 4 points
    If your question is about 199A QBI, it doesn't matter as Cap Gains are not included in 199A. My concern would be the valuation. How does farmland increase in value nearly 4.5 times in 2 years? Was it rezoned for housing, commercial, industrial use? Did soething else happen that would affect the valuation?
  46. 4 points
    I sure wish one of the professional tax groups would rally and have the IRS pay every preparer for whom they hold 10-cards (fingerprints) for being their gatekeepers.
  47. 4 points
    One of the best choices I've made recently is scripting several of my main passwords. I don't even know what my password for ATX is but my script always types it correctly!
  48. 4 points
    Yep, been there Bart. Back when I opened my first tax office I had a partially disabled client who hauled cows to make some extra money. The man was as honest as could be and I still recall and admire his integrity. Always brought his tax papers in one or two of those heavy duty cardboard cigar boxes (remember those?). One year he stopped by right after a delivery and apparently he had a "souvenir" somewhere on his person. After he left, I realized the smell wouldn't go away although I employed most of the remedies you mentioned. Was on the verge of doing an exorcism since that was about the only option left. I finally realized the smell emanated from one of the cigar boxes because a couple of receipts had been handled prior to some serious hand washing. If he'd been audited that year, there would have been a few receipts missing.
  49. 4 points
    Never trust what an attorney, stock broker, or RE agent says about taxes. Always verify!
  50. 4 points
    Yeah, I had to do one of these last year. Sent in the 5498 from 2018 and the 1099R from 2017. Wrote a letter giving the date of the withdrawal and the date of the deposit into the new account. No change letter showed up about 3 months later. Even though the "Rollover" was on the tax return we still got the CP 2000. Tom Modesto, CA
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