OkieTaxGal Posted April 13, 2009 Report Share Posted April 13, 2009 The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Grandpa shows up with his attorney. "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm a great gambler and I can prove it," says Grandpa. The auditor thinks for a moment, says, "Okay. Go ahead." Grandpa says, 'bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet." Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. "Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side and never get a drop anywhere in between." The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy can possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants. Although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and you'd be happy about it." Author Unknown - :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted April 13, 2009 Report Share Posted April 13, 2009 Thanks, I needed that! I'm cryin over here, laughing so hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joelgilb Posted April 13, 2009 Report Share Posted April 13, 2009 have heard that one before, but it is still a great one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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