Observations
I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.
I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.
Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?
I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.
No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team is winning.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.