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A classic Senior Moment


kcjenkins

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"Where is my Sunday paper?!" the irate customer yelled into the phone when the newspaper office clerk answered.

"Ma'am?" the clerk replied, a bit confused.

"Where is my Sunday paper!?!" she repeated, even louder than the first time. "I only get one paper a week from you cretins, because it takes me that long to read it! And it's not here! Can't you idiots do anything right?!"

"Ma'am", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow -- on Sunday."

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition.

"Well, hell," she said, her voice finally calm. "So that's why no one was at church today."

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While discussing the upcoming Universal Health Care Program with my sister-in-law the other day, I think we have found the solution. I am sure you have heard the idea that if you're a senior you need to suck it up and give up the idea that you need any health care. A new hip? Unheard of. We simply can't afford to take care of you anymore. You don't need any medications for your high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, etc. -- the same old dodge keeps coming back: "Let's take care of the young people. After all, they will be ruling the world very soon."

Uh huh.

So here is the solution: When you turn 70, you get a gun and 4 bullets. In return for shooting 2 Senators and 2 Representatives, you get free health care for life!

How does it work?

Of course, you will be sent to prison. There you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth? Great! Need glasses? No problem. New hip, knee, kidney, lung, heart? Bring it on. And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. And, since you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income tax, either. And best of all, we get some new blood in the Government.

I really think we have a Perfect Solution!

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While discussing the upcoming Universal Health Care Program with my sister-in-law the other day, I think we have found the solution. I am sure you have heard the idea that if you're a senior you need to suck it up and give up the idea that you need any health care.

I'm sure I haven't!

A new hip? Unheard of. We simply can't afford to take care of you anymore. You don't need any medications for your high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, etc. -- the same old dodge keeps coming back: "Let's take care of the young people. After all, they will be ruling the world very soon."

Check your demographics, the senior lobby is very strong.

So here is the solution: When you turn 70, you get a gun and 4 bullets. In return for shooting 2 Senators and 2 Representatives, you get free health care for life!

KC! There is nothing funny about inciting violence! This is irresponsible and should be deleted! Please help us get good healthcare for seniors (and everyone else too), by engaging in civil discourse, not by making jokes about assasinating the United States Congress!

How does it work?

Of course, you will be sent to prison. There you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth? Great! Need glasses? No problem. New hip, knee, kidney, lung, heart? Bring it on. And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. And, since you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income tax, either. And best of all, we get some new blood in the Government.

I really think we have a Perfect Solution!

W

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MontanaEA, this was a joke, and I assumed everyone would recognize it as such. I don't actually want anyone shooting, especially seniors, who's aim might be shaky, and who do not deserve to end their days in the hell-holes that our prisons are.

Although I do wish we could vote almost the entire Congress and Senate out, and put in some fresh people who would pledge in advance to actually follow the Constitution, for a change. I would not care, then, what party label they had. But I am sick of the crooks up there now. Aren't you?

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