Where do I go from here?

[mcb39]

I have a longtime client who has been acting strangely for the past year and it is getting worse.  She started out by bringing me the wrong paperwork in March.  After we called her and she insisted we were wrong; she walked in the door with the correct folder.  As time went on, she started to call me as to why they hadn't gotten their refund.  All indications under "Where's My Refund" both Fed and State indicated that she had them both; one by Direct Deposit and one by Paper Check because she had given me the wrong bank account for WI.  I called WI and they assured me that they had sent the check and it had been endorsed and cashed and they would send her a copy and if they were not their signatures; she was to call them.

She called me several times and stopped in once always addressing the issue of why they hadn't gotten their refunds.  Yesterday, she called and asked me if she had all the paperwork that she needed to do her 2022 tax return.  I told her she wouldn't have anything before late Jan or early Fed.  She said, "Oh, that's right!"  Then again asked if I had heard anything about her refunds.  That same day, I called a mutual friend who had referred her to me and asked if I could ask her a confidential and delicate question.  I told her what had been going on in a nutshell without mentioning any amounts or other confidential information.

Today, our mutual friend called her and asked her the usual Holiday stuff and how she was doing.  The client in question told her that she had been unwell and was on medication but she didn't know what it was for.  Mutual friend asked her to spell it, which she did.  It is a medication for the treatment of dementia.  So, what do I do now?  How do I handle this ethically?  I have never met her husband because she has always handled all of the paperwork and took the signature form to him to sign.  She is a very nice, lovely lady.  I don't know anyone else related to her and I fear that she will come in without all of the documents needed to file a correct return.  Please advise.

[Lee B]

I understand your problem.  My Mother In Law who had dementia lived with us for 21 months after she couldn't live by herself anymore.

Frankly, it was the most difficult thing that I have ever done!  One day she would be very nice and with it.

The next day she would be extremely angry and sarcastic and couldn't remember anything.

You can deal with the situation as best you can, just smile and be agreeable or you can try to have a meeting with her husband, which could totally backfire!

Sometimes it can be very hard to remember that it's a disease and that the lovely person that you used to know is still there.

 

[DANRVAN]

2 hours ago, mcb39 said:

So, what do I do now?  How do I handle this ethically?  I have never met her husband because she has always handled all of the paperwork and took the signature form to him to sign.

A delicate situation for sure.  Easier said than done, but I believe all clients should have a backup plan in the event they are no longer able to handle their financial affairs.

In your situation, I would arrange a meeting with both Mr. and Mrs. Longtime Client.  Send a letter addressed to both, so he is likely to see it.  Then when you meet and Mrs. brings up the refund question for the umpteenth time, you can gentle say something to the effect “as we have previously discussed your refund was received last May (or whenever).”  Maybe Mr. will pick up on the repetitive cycle you are going through.

The goal of your meeting is to find out who you should contact if both become incapacitated and bring husband on board. Hopefully he is not on the same medication; and you can persuade them to obtain a durable power of attorney.

[Lee B]

1 hour ago, DANRVAN said:

 

The goal of your meeting is to find out who you should contact if both become incapacitated and bring husband on board. Hopefully he is not on the same medication; and you can persuade them to obtain a durable power of attorney.

I wonder, at what point is a person no longer competent to sign a POA?

I know when my wife took her mother to get her to sign a POA, I don't her mother understood what she was signing.

[mcb39]

Some good ideas here.  The biggest problem is that she is not aware that anything is wrong.  She is aware that she has contacted me often.  She apologizes for bothering me and begs me not to drop her as a client.  As if I would!  They have a semi-complicated return with several 1099s and SS.  It has got to be correct.  Generally, they get a nice refund.

[Lee B]

Dementia is very difficult for other people to deal with for exactly that reason.

At this stage, I suspect you will just have to deal with it as best that you can.

[Terry D EA]

Been through this as well and there is no easy answer. One suggestion, maybe contact an attorney regarding the ability to sign a POA competently. I would only do this after your discussion with both Mr. & Mrs. I would definitely try to find out if there were any other family members who could get involved. For you, I think you have to know the person who you are preparing a tax return for understands. Kinda similar to working with someone who speaks another language where an interpreter is needed. Maybe things will work out with Mr. 

[mcbreck]

Assuming they are still married, call the husband or send him a letter directly. 

 

In the securities industry, we are required to get a signed form which is the client's Trusted Contact. You can contact that person in a situation like this but not in any other non-emergency situation. You need to contact the husband and see if he can aid, is aware of the situation and maybe there is a family member you can be given for future problems. Once you have dementia, it rarely gets better for a long period of time. The medication might help for a while but eventually it stops working. If the husband isn't an option, see if the friend knows of a child. I think you have an ethical responsibility to contact family members as much as possible and let them know a problem is developing.

[Catherine]

This one is very hard. You need to talk to husband first. Get him to authorize, in writing, a third party (adult child? friend? attorney?) someone else to contact and discuss the situation if it gets out of hand. With the lady, perhaps sit with her and husband and suggest it's time for husband to take over tax papers. But you cannot contact anyone outside your clients without their written permission.

[mcb39]

14 hours ago, Catherine said:

This one is very hard. You need to talk to husband first. Get him to authorize, in writing, a third party (adult child? friend? attorney?) someone else to contact and discuss the situation if it gets out of hand. With the lady, perhaps sit with her and husband and suggest it's time for husband to take over tax papers. But you cannot contact anyone outside your clients without their written permission.

I understand.  There is a child that I have never met.  I know that my first responsibility is to try to contact the husband alone.  It is already out of hand IMO.  Lady will not be happy about including husband because she already is upset because she thinks he is interfering.  Very delicate situation, but Thank You All for your input.  In the meantime, I will pray for someone from that side to step up to the plate and contact me.  Let us all have a Very Happy and Untroubled Holiday Season!