RitaB Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Caller: Do you do regular people's returns? Me: Yes. (Thinking: You take Magnesium supplements, don't you?) Caller: I don't have all my forms. Can you tell me what you charge? OK, I realize that was two questions... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rfassett Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Caller: I need to make an appointment for you to look over my divorce papers. Me: Does this impact your 2010 tax return? Caller: No. That is already done. Me: Are you a client? Caller: I was years ago. Me: Hold please. (Check my archived file list for the name. Not there, so this person has not graced our doorway since before 1998.) Me again: I will be happy to make an appointment for you in late April. Caller: No, I wanted you to look at it now. Me: Not gonna happen. Caller: I will check my schedule and get back to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Emailer (whom I told in mid-December that I _might_ be able to help him provided he got me ALL info before Christmas): I almost have my partnership papers ready to bring in. If I get them to you by Wednesday the 16th, can you have 2007 and 2008 ready by Tuesday the 22nd? The IRS guy says he won't wait anymore. Me: (nice letter formally withdrawing from any tax prep work). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted February 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Caller: I will check my schedule and get back to you. Whew, oh Lordy, I will have abs of steel from laughing at that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margaret CPA in OH Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Good idea, RitaB, for strengthening abs. More laughter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack from Ohio Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Client: "I need an explanation why my refund is lower this year." Me: "Let me get your file." Pause..... Me: "I see the situation. You had lower withholdings on your W-2 for 2010." Client: "I didn't change anything. Are you sure?" Me: "Look at box 2 of your W-2 and compare it to last year." Client: "I can't do that. I am driving to my friend's birthday party and just wanted an explanation. Are you sure?" Me: (scratching the phone receiver with my fingernails....) "I am having trouble hearing you..." (more scratching and thumping on the phone receiver...) "Can you call me from home tomorrow?" I push the receiver button in the center of the word tomorrow.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margaret CPA in OH Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 I love the scratching and bumping phone - will immediately add to my tool set! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted February 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Just now, a client hands me a piece of paper where he has scribled what he THINKS to be his bank routing and account numbers: "I changed banks. Does this look right to you?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted February 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 I know you think I'm making these up. I'm telling you, TODAY is the day for stupid questions here. Lady calls and says, "You have my middle initial as "B". What does that stand for?" Me: "I'm sorry, I don't know. What should it be?" Caller: "Well, my maiden name was "Baker" so that could be right." I have put that initial on her return for ten years... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcjenkins Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Caller: Can you tell me how much you charge for a tax return? Me: What sort of income do you have? Caller: I just want a general estimate...... Me: I can't give you that unless I know more about what you need. Is all your income from W-2s? Caller: No, I am self-employed. Me: What sort of business? And do you have your records on computer, Quickbooks or such? Caller: Why do you need to know that, I just want a general estimate...... Me: Sorry, I can not help you. Goodbye. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry D EA Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Here's one. Just finished this client's tax return and she is getting almost 5k refund. it is important to note this person works in a law firm and makes 50K+. After reviewing the return with her, I asked if she had any questions and she said yes, just one. "If I told you I was doing something illegal do you have to turn me in?" Me: Dumb looks are hard to conceal when you're caught off guard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry O Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 My answer to Terry D - - -"Don't tell me anything I would have to testify in court to!" - - --OY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack from Ohio Posted February 16, 2011 Report Share Posted February 16, 2011 Setting the stage.... Feb. 2, 2011 - Darke, Mercer, Miami and Montgomery Counties in Ohio. Worst snow/ice/sleet/freezing rain storm in many years. 3+ inches of freezing rain/ice on everything. I live 26 miles from the firm. I believe in dealing with the weather instead of hiding. Main roads were passable, but no fun to drive. 1 hour to get to work. Only two of us (out of 7) make it in... Phone rings at about 11:00 AM... Me: "Tax Preparers & Associates" (Names changed to protect the innocent.... ) "Can I help you?" Her: "Are you open?" Me: "No. This is the interactive automated voice activated answering service." Her: CLICK!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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