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"But I made a lot more money this year than last" "Shouldn't my refund be higher too?"

Twice today, "Why is my refund less this year?" #1 - Well, you made $7,000 more and had the same amount of income tax withheld. And you did not pay tuition, so you did not have education credits. #2 - Well, you retired. Remember not going to your job? Where you had $6,000 in income tax withheld? I have noticed, when the refund is more, no explanation is needed.

Six Truths in Life 1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility. 2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it. 3. And discover #1 is a lie. 4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot. 5. You soon will forward this to another idiot. 6. There is still a stupid smile on your face. I sincerely apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company.

MY MOST EMBARRASSING 'SENIOR MOMENT' Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal pat down. Iwas looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized that I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately call the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all. “Honey,” I stammered. (I always call her “honey” in times like these.) “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.” There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice, “Ken,” she barked, “I dropped you off!” Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.” She retorted, “I will ... as soon as I convince this policeman that I have not stolen your car!”

I spit on myself a little.

It is an epidemic!!! I have answered that question 25 times this year at least!! ME: "You made more money, you had less taxable income, your withholdings were considerably lower, you kept a greater percentage of your income than last year." HER: "But why is my refund smaller? Something must be wrong." ME: "Did you notice your paychecks being larger?" Her: "My checks are direct deposited and I never even look at them." :dunno:

Horse walks into a bar. Bartender: "Why the long face?" What did the zero say to the eight? "Nice belt." Knock, knock. Who's there? Avery. Avery who? Avery time I come over here, we go through this. These are my three jokes that are guaranteed to make my kids go: "Mom. OMG."

The Dahli Lama walks in to a pizza place and says: "Make me one with everything."

Oh how I missed KC and her Laugh of the Day! Thanx for stopping by and sharing your humor. Hugs to you and your hubby.