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New Theory of Stupidity: The Stupon Brain scientists have stunned the world with their discovery of the "stupon" -- a subatomic particle given off by the human brain. When a stupon hits a brain cell, researchers say, that brain cell gives off two stupons. Then, the affected area of the brain suspends activity for a brief period of time while the stupons regenerate, which takes an enormous amount of energy. This is observable outside the laboratory during a so-called "stupon storm", when several stupid people get together. The classic sign seen during a stupon storm is the blank expression on the victim's faces after one of the group does something especially stupid. This is, in fact, the origin of the saying that someone appeared to be "struck dumb" by normal onlookers. For Example Example of Stupons at Work "The breakthrough came thanks to Youtube," said lead researcher Albert "Einstein" Heisenberg. "These guys filming themselves doing stupid things has been a treasure trove of material for us to study." Stupid people's brains are awash in stupons, Heisenberg says, which is why they are so stupid. They also emit copious quantities of stupons, which is why being around a stupid person can make you feel stupid, or even do stupid things yourself. Close proximity to stupid people for lengthy periods of time can actually cause brain damage in the normal person, thanks to "The Stupon Effect" on the normal brain, Heisenberg points out. Sadly, the researcher says, even smart people sometimes emit stupons. "If you put enough normal people together -- say, in a corporate meeting or session of Congress -- then they begin to trade stupons at an accelerated rate, making the people stupider and increasing the production of stupons in a vicious feedback loop." This is very similar to the way a nuclear chain reaction functions. Heisenberg and other researchers are scrambling to invent stupon detectors, which would work like carbon monoxide detectors and sound an alarm to clear the room in the event there were too many stupons floating around, as well as stupon-resistant hats, which would protect the wearer from other people's stupons. Observers say that should this anti-stupon hat effort be successful (sadly, the first attempt using tin foil failed completely -- for reasons obvious for the non-stupon-impaired), taxpayers should demand all federal employees -- especially legislators -- to wear the device anytime he or she is within 100 yards of any other federal employee. To help support this vital research, please have a credit card ready and call 1-800-STUPON to contribute whatever you can.

This guy goes into his dentist's office, because of pain in his mouth. After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, "Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?" "Well... the only thing I can think of is this... my wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it... Hollandaise sauce she called it... and doctor, I'm talking' DELICIOUS! I've never tasted anything like it, and ever since then I've been putting it on everything...meat, fish, toast, vegetables... you name it!" "That's probably it," replied the dentist. "Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is acidic and highly corrosive. It seems as though I'll have to install a new plate, but made out of chrome this time." "Why chrome?" the man asked. "Well, everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

There were a tribe of islanders who worshiped ever-living dolphins and hoped they would be conferred favors by sacrificing seagulls to them. They ran out of birds on one side of the island, though, so they went to the other side of the island to get some more, even though they were a smaller type of gull. Coming back, they found the way blocked by two somnolent lions. Knowing the dolphins were waiting for the sacrifice, they tiptoed up and stepped over the lions, whereupon they were immediately arrested and charged with transporting minor gulls over staid lions for immortal porpoises. (Mwah hah hah.)

VISUAL PUNS

NOPE. I love a good pun! Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

http://youtu.be/pAXLfA9_GFU

Mrs Grinch should either turn off her lights and forget Halloween, or just give all the kids a single 'fun size' candy bar and keep her mouth shut.

For Halloween..... There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which `lived' there was feared by all. However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the gh...ost descended upon him, clanking chains et al. He told the ghost "I mean no harm - I just want your photograph". The ghost was quite happy at this chance to make the headlines - he posed for a number of ghostly shots. The happy journalist rushed back to his dark room, and began developing the photos. Unfortunately, they turned out to be black and underexposed. So what's the moral of the story? Wait for it.... Wait for it.... Wait for it... . . . The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.

Same here - do you think the same people are working on this website as the healthcare site?