Long ago, clerking for a local tractor sales repair outfit, I composed a collection letter which mentioned some of the above lines plus others I created. Hot into writing at the time (no best-sellers emerged), I considered mine a friendly-browbeating masterpiece. A fellow colleague from our nearby competitor later called; praising it highly and asking permission to use it. Quite pleased, I agreed.
Next month he called back: "We got a better letter than yours." (Their customers didn't pay well, but neither did they.) A rough, camo-collar guy who sold scrap iron but was also known to pack an iron, had penciled on his notebook-paper statement: I WANT MY MONEY
Paid the same day received.
BB