Personal - deal with PR of moms estate?

[WITAXLADY]

Long story - in order to end almost 4 years of my mom's trust with myself as Trustee I agreed to let my brother take over rather than go to court -

So he is in the process of auctioning off the contents of her home - She wanted us to take as much as we wanted - had lists all over and names on items but would not give it before her passing - wanted to wait - he said he did not want anything and was not into clutter or hoarding - appraiser said it was the nicest "hoarding" place he ever saw as it was clean and organized and displayed.

Anyway so 6 siblings- myself as oldest (power thing here) and 5 brothers got to pick 6 items and rest is being auctioned online - at least 6 of them, over 700 items each time.

 

Now the issue is he wants the 10 boxes, tubs, etc of papers to finish the reports, and inventory, and his original email stated May 18th to finish the paperwork.. I am fine with that, then he said April and now he said Mar!!

I said I am good with May.

He says no, now..

Can I ignore his demand until May? Neither I nor anyone in the office has time - we are swamped!

They dragged it out 4 years - he can wait .. It needs to be gone through to make sure there are no private papers in there.

And copies made of certain items.

Not a quick pu and run..

I, emotionally and psychologically cannot deal with this until after tax season - one of the reasons I settled - They were not very nice..

D/WI

 

 

[Slippery Pencil]

You probably need to ask a lawyer for a proper answer, but what is his recourse if you ignore him?

If you need to respond to him, be short, be to the point, be stone cold, do not be emotional.  I'd suggest something like:  "You requested 5/18.  I originally agreed to that.  Your request to move that to April, and now March, is not feasible.  I will let you know on 5/1 if 5/18 is still feasible for me or if I need more time."

Do not go into detail.  Do not state reasons for your decision.  Reasons are something to be refuted; do not give him that option. 

When he responds, most likely angrily, do not answer his questions and again, do not go into detail or give reasons for your decisions.  Remain stone cold and keep your reply short.  Reply with something like:  I have stated numerous times that your request is unattainable.  I will update you on 5/1.

If he responds, reply with:  "I'm sorry, I cannot do that.  As I do not have time for your temper tantrums, I will block your email and phone number until 5/1 and contact you with an update at that time."

You have the right to walk away from an abusive situation.  Exercise that right.

[mcb39]

If it's any consolation, my middle brother has not spoken to me in 20 years, since my Mother passed in 2004. He was the POA.  I was the personal caregiver.  Go figure.  To this day, I have no idea for sure what his problem is.  He had first pickings on everything and he exercised that ability.  Death and Families just don't always go well.

[Medlin Software, Dennis]

As a 2x admin, I communicated only through the JD I retained. While it was cold, it prevented any sort of direct arguments. It was awful, including having to force one relative out of a home they essentially were using as a squat. The squatter has at least 1mil of ready cash, and for about three years now, has not cashed a check from the estate, or made attempt to convert, >100k.

But it did help get me to revisit my own plans and clean up a few things. We went with a plan which allows editing on the fly (sort of a subscription) as it fits us for the next decade or so. No worry about how much a small revision would cost.

[WITAXLADY]

Thank you! Good advice.

D