OldJack Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2009 Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted. Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks. Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky .. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism. Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00? Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. And The Number 1 Thought For 2009 : We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration? " Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers. What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow" :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail in Virginia Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Thank you, OldJack, those are great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAXBILLY Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 We need some frivolity now before the you know what hits the fan! taxbilly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kea Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 We need some frivolity now before the you know what hits the fan! taxbilly Or, perhaps "before the ship hits the sand"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eli Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Or, perhaps "before the ship hits the sand"? That sounds so much nicer, Kea. Eli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kea Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 I heard that expression a couple of months ago. I decided I liked it better because it is more realistic... and can be said in mixed company. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virtual Managed Solutions Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Or, perhaps "before the ship hits the sand"? I don't get it? :ninja: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 I don't get it? Can you say "crunch your keel?" Catherine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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