Un - Frikkin - Real !!!! Some clients

[BulldogTom]

Client has a basic return with Sch A and Sch E with 3 rentals. Not a big deal most years. Had a loan modification on both residence and rentals. Spent 30 minutes on the insolvency worksheet in our first meeting, and then another 45 when they came back tonight. They owe for the first time in their married life. Pissed about it. Hey - you just got income releif of 200K, and you have withholding of 1600 on 95K AGI with another 30K of non-taxable income.

But here is where it gets unreal.

"Since we have to pay so much, can you cut our bill down some"? I only charged him $249. He asks if I will take $200 cash or I can wait for the money. I was about to lose it. His wife was mortified.

So I very sweetly said, the return doesn't get filed until I get paid.

Now the best part, he says "you know our checks bounce"

My reply - "I will just call the IRS and tell them that I am not your paid preparer, and I don't know what they will do"

His wife wrote the check.

Can I go on vacation now.

Tom

Lodi, CA

[ILLMAS]

High Five, good one. Today I emailed a client letting know I was willing to give them a big discount if they paid my fees in full, if not I would need half and only release one partner k-1. In the past I have worked my @ss off and not to get paid months later.

[jainen]

>>Un-Frikkin<<

Doesn't un-frikkin mean the same thing as frikkin? Like, flammable and inflammable? Here it is April 14th and I can't even tell the difference between taxable and nontaxable any more.

[Catherine]

>>Un-Frikkin<<

Doesn't un-frikkin mean the same thing as frikkin? Like, flammable and inflammable? Here it is April 14th and I can't even tell the difference between taxable and nontaxable any more.

jainen, that's because there -isn't- much difference between taxable and non-taxable anymore. At least not on 4/14! A cold cloth on your head might feel good; you could try that.

[BulldogTom]

>>Un-Frikkin<<

Doesn't un-frikkin mean the same thing as frikkin? Like, flammable and inflammable? Here it is April 14th and I can't even tell the difference between taxable and nontaxable any more.

NO. "Frikkin" is the adjective that describes the word "Unreal". You are from California - haven't you studied your ebonics? I know you are a young man and surely you were in school when that wonderful program came to be. "Frikkin" can be inserted into any word or phrase at any time to show emphasis or extreme emotion.

Examples- Stupid Frikkin Client, Incomprehensible Frikkin Publication, Idiodic Frikkin Politicians, etc.

You get the idea. However, it is the highest measure of acheivement when you can insert "Frikkin" inside a word.

Example - In-Frikkin-Sane, Un-Frikkin-believable, etc.

Try it - it is a good Frikkin stress reliever.

Tom

Lodi, CA

[jainen]

>>"Frikkin" is the adjective that describes the word "Unreal"<<

I don't get that. Unreal is itself an adjective, so its modifier must be an adverb. Yeah I remember ebonics (as an adult, thank you). I consider that more a matter of racist politics than linguistics.

But "real" is a noun, actually the name of a Spanish coin. Some people got ebonics at Martin Luther King H.S., but I learned proper English at Sir Francis Drake H.S., and that pirate was very big on Spanish coins.

[RitaB]

They owe for the first time in their married life.

My clients in this predicament (new clients, of course, what else would I expect?!) have the same liability in 2009 as 2008. In 2008, they had $10,000 withheld. In 2009, they had $4,000 withheld. They didn't even notice. Yeah, nothing gets by these two... I have explained, drawn circles around "tax withheld" etc. They will increase their withholdings, go to a new preparer, and get a refund for 2010. New preparer will be a hero. Life will be good again.

Can I go on vacation now.

Yes.

[Mike D]

As a tax preparer and accountant practicing for over 35 years, I have set some rules for my practice which have for the most part worked well for me.

For example:

Any existing client that wishes to see me face to face on April 13 to discuss hyperbole and fees would fast become your client.

I have a policy for my existing clients a face to face will cost them $75 up to 1/2 hour, after that my normal hourly fees prevail.

For new first time clients, not returning clients, I will meet with them face to face when required, and waive fees for the first 1/2 hour; any additional time is billed at my normal hourly rates.

In addition I have generally resisted taking on new clients and/or servicing existing clients after April 1. I will on occasion meet with a prospective client after April 1 that appears to make it worth my while? All others are required to be put on extension and all tax matters will not be discussed until May 1, at the earliest. Let's face it; I get burned out just as most of you do! If for some reason the client insists on not filing extensions after April 1, my normal fees at minimum double!

Hope this is helpful

Mike Dubin CPA