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I find them various places on the internet, and when I see one I like I save it.

Just have to share this one. Once had a beagle who did this to our car's front seat.

Yes!

This answer is NOT COMPLETE. There is a total shutdown of e-filing at the end of every tax season, sometime in October. However, on Jan 15, 2013, any MEF compliant 2011 tax return was able to be e-filed and currently can be until the annual shutdown. I have e-filed a dozen 2011 returns this year and 3 2010 returns. The IRS will support e-file for three years. Starting Jan. 15, 2014, any MEF compliant tax returns for tax years 2011, 2012 & 2013. This is dependent, of course, on the actions or inactions of the Congress at the end of this year.

love that one, he's having so much fun.

This video was the one that gave me a good laugh today - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xEX-48RHCY&feature=youtu.be

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples." Q: What cookie makes you rich? A: A fortune cookie! Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his mother was a wafer so long! Q: When should you take a cookie to the doctor? A: When it feels crummy. Q: What do the cookie and the computer have in common? A: They both have chips. Q: How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There's M&M shells all over the floor Q: What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A: A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie. Q: What kind of keys do kids like to carry? A: Cookies! Q: Why do basketball players love cookies? A: Because they can dunk them! Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed? A. A cookie sheet! Q: What is a monster's favorite food? A: Ghoul scout cookies. Q: How do you make Ohio State University cookies? A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours. source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/foodjokes/cookiejokes.html

A question came up about which came first - man drinking beer or man drinking milk. Simple logic finally solved the mystery. Back before records were being kept, it is imagined that two Neandertals were coming home from the hunt. They had already finished painting the story of the hunt on the cave wall and were looking for something to do. One of them said "See that herd of animals over there? I'm going to sneak up on one of them and pull one of those long things hanging down from that sac to see what comes out of it." The other one replied - "If you'll do it, then by golly I'll drink whatever comes out". The answer is simple logic. This conversation would never have taken place if someoby hadn't been driking beer in the first place.

That older notice sounds like it only refers to relatives, but it actually includes any household member who received more than 50% support regardless of the dependent's gross income. See if the client can qualify by putting dependent's earnings into savings, etc. Otherwise they will have to take a vacation to someplace where they can get legally married. Even then, who knows? If the employer is a state university it still might not offer the benefit. It's going to be a while before we can advise clients without a lot of disclaimers. Domestic partners are in a particularly confusing situation, since they may not even be eligible to get legally married.

Why is business mileage like Christmas cookies? Same as last year.

Wow! I need a few laughs in this busy time leading up to 15 October, while my computer monitors are failing, my son is suffering from severe anger issues, my ex is telling me to fix it as I'm the mother (my "kid" is 32 years old and married), and we're working on our church's main time-consuming fundraiser. Even the sick jokes bring me up for air and out of my panic. However, I laughed at that joke for an entirely different reason, didn't laugh at those that had been diagnosed as mentally ill. I laughed at the doctors that thought they'd made an accurate diagnosis based on one event in the woman's life! But, were proved wrong. Doctors are not God. Luckily they were proved wrong before the patient could be released. Now, I've offended doctors. Hopefully, no doctor is reading a tax board. But some of you have doctors in your families, so I do apologize. I remember going through a sick joke phase as a child, so it is easy to revert to that as a release valve in times of stress.

I love half-baked humor!! (oops, someone may consider my joke insensitive.... TOO BAD!!)

Thanks, I contacted ATX and Sandy remoted in and solved the problem. The new schema (whatever that is) did not like that on a short name for a rental property I had 03 801. It seems if there is a number, no space followed by another number is permitted. The client had 2 properties on the same street so I was distinguishing by house number. Changed to letter F801 (for Fourth Street 801) and now accepted. I couldn't put 4th as it was a number and was limited to 8 characters. Not as hard as I thought and now the cryptic explanation means something but I didn't speak the language very well and needed a translator!