Catherine

My office (a former porch with too many poor-quality windows and too little insulation) is the coldest room in the house all winter -- and the hottest all summer. On average, it's perfect! We keep the house AC set at 78F; here in the office it runs about 6 degrees warmer. Except in the mid to late afternoon, when the sun bumps it another 2-3 degrees. At least it's a *dry* heat with the AC taking out the worst of the humidity. And I have a ceiling fan. But it's funny; I sit here all winter with a blanket on my lap and fingerless gloves on my hands and a wool shawl over my shoulders (62F is common in here in the winter; that's COLD for sitting still) -- then tank top and shorts all summer.

Yes, sale of business assets is reported on Form 4797. Losses are treated as ordinary for section 1231; not subject to $3K/year as are capital losses. The Tax Book has a nice summary on page 6-13.

To continue the family pride theme KC has us started on, from Jumbo Joke dot com: The Phases of Parenthood When You Find Out 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes. Preparing for the Birth 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month. The Layette 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Sure, boys can wear pink. Worries 1st baby: At the first sign of distress you pick up the baby. 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. Pacifiers 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it. 2nd baby: When the he pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle. 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in. Diapering 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not. 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed. 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees. Activities 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and to the dry cleaner. Going Out 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times. 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood spraying. At Home 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children. Photography 1st baby: You take photos of every milestone in the baby's life, including spitting up, skinned knees, meeting grandma, and more. 2nd baby: You try to take photos at least once a year. 3rd baby: He looks enough like his brother that taking photos is redundant. Posted June 22, 2007 8:00 AM - See more at: http://www.jumbojoke.com/the_phases_of_parenthood.html#sthash.Jncu5E6G.dpuf

Congratulations to your granddaughter! You (and her parents) must be very proud!

A couple of friends of mine are NICU nurses in Boston. They tell me there is an entire *industry* built around EBT (food stamp card) and child tax credit fraud -- and the state could not care less about it; nor do the feds care. For example, a pregnant woman from the Dominican Republic, say, comes here ~7 months. Stays 'til her baby is born in Boston, making the kid a US citizen (under a perversion of the 14th Amendment, which perversion needs to be overturned). She signs up for welfare, food stamps, all kinds of aid. The facilitator group (working in the DR and within the state) help her sign up for an "address" (a warehouse, an already-used address like the Atlanta one, one of those "street address" mail delivery/acceptance services, whatever) -- which is required. She goes back to the DR after she gets her EBT card. Money gets added every month, and she plus family live like rich folks in the DR off US & Mass taxpayer money. There are similar schemes to then file US taxes and get EITC and the like. It's obscene. It's illegal. The government does NOT care. And every nickel that goes to someone illegally is a *dime* not available to help actual US citizens who need assistance -- or to keep in their pockets for their own use.

We've been in the mid-90's -- with dew points in the mid-70's -- for a couple of weeks now, with the occasional one or two day break. By 9AM we're usually in the mid to upper 80's. I have to go out to pick my raspberries super-early or super-late, since I have to wear long pants due to the prickles all along the stems. Not to mention protection from the few stinging nettles hiding under the canes where I can't see them or get at them to pull them out. Fortunately we have had breezes every day, which makes it far more tolerable. And we're getting tons of raspberries this year.

The government has an obligation to enforce *equal* rights. Justice is blindfolded for a reason. As soon as one group gets "special" privileges (not rights, privileges; they are different), we no longer have equal rights -- and in a couple of tiny, near-invisible steps, we then have preferential treatment that infringes the rights of some persons in favor of the privileges of others. That devolves to tyranny, ultimately. The founders wanted the federal government small to keep it out of the lives of the people in order to prevent it slow it down from eventually becoming a tool of oppression of the many, in favor of the special interests of the few (rich, lords, corporations, unions, pacs, industries, whatever). Rights vs privileges: http://www.constitutionpreservation.org/sites/default/files/files-misc/chapter_two.pdf

Just got yet another in a LONG series of federal e-file rejections for "missing EIN" from an educational institution. Only seems to happen on the first submission/e-file creation but it's been long enough that I forgot to see if deleting the first-created e-file fixes it. Sent in a bug report, not that I expect CCH to do squat about it.

Weird Al is such a hoot!

And another from Jumbo Joke: Australia Q&A The questions below about Australia are supposedly true, and are from an Australian tourism website. The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humor. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney. Can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure. It's only three thousand miles, so take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK) A: You are a British politician, right? Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France) A: No -- WE don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A: Only at Christmas. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R&R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first. - See more at: http://www.jumbojoke.com/australia_qa.html#sthash.EXCgkpSO.dpuf

Adapted from a humor piece by Peter Egan and originally published in Road & Track's April, 1996 edition as borrowed from JumboJoke.com. For reference, I have many of the tools listed, so perhaps a plain-old "Guide to Tools" should now be the title. On second thought, after the "vice grip" (sic) maybe we'll leave this for the guys. A Man's Guide to Tools This is not, by any means, a full and complete list. But it'll get even the most handy handyman started. Skil Saw A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short. Belt Sander An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs. Wire Wheel Cleans paint off bolts, and then throws them somewhere under the workbench at the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh shit'. Drill Press A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. Channel Locks Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters. Hacksaw One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle — it transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. Vise Grips Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. (Note the spelling: a "Vice Grip" is something else entirely.) Oxyacetylene Torch Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race. Table Saw A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. Very effective for digit removal! Hydraulic Floor Jack Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper. Band Saw A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. Two-Ton Engine Hoist A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect. Phillips Screwdriver Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. Straight Screwdriver A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms. (Note: not the opposite of a Gay Screwdriver.) Pry Bar A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part. PVC Pipe Cutter A tool used to make plastic pipe too short. Hammer Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. Utility Knife Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. These can also be used to initiate a trip to the emergency room so a doctor can sew up the damage. Son Of A Bitch Tool Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a bitch!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need after using any of the above. [- See more at: http://www.jumbojoke.com/a_mans_guide_to_tools.html#sthash.Z5o6eKPw.dpuf]

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice " I'd like to try the bet" After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" The man replied "I work for the IRS."

I was one of those people affected and to this day have NO idea why CT had my info in the first place!

We have an HP-6MP that still chugs along at a lightning-fast 6 ppm... but it's the only printer that still supports the APL character set.

If Jack's solution doesn't work for you, let me know. I have the forms. Catherine

Here's one my cousin sent me. Humorless persons beware; the rest of you have a good chuckle. Normally I avoid discussing any advice regarding buying or selling of stocks, but I felt this is important enough to share and warn you since this explosive situation might prove to be yet another ENRON. Please review any holdings you might have in the following stocks: American Can Interstate Water National Gas Company Northern Tissue Company Due to uncertain market conditions, I advise you to sit tight on your American Can, hold your Water, and let go of your Gas. You may be interested to know that Northern Tissue touched a new bottom today, and millions were wiped clean. It's a tough market out there. Be careful!

Subject: Taking Dad Shopping I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 84). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours; green, red, orange and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked: " What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?" Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing that he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response: "Got stoned once and (rude word for had relations with) a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son"

By 1936, the "Progressive" movement had infected BOTH parties as well as the Supreme Court. "Precedent" is not synonymous with "correct" and nowhere in the Constitution is the Supreme Court given sole determination of Constitutionality. "Precedent" when used in medicine is termed "anecdote" and is dismissed out of hand; they same standard should apply Constitutionally. The Federalist Papers show over and over again that the commerce clause and general welfare clause were to be read _very_ strictly and narrowly. The Anti-Federalist papers show over and over again exactly how the to-be-created federal government was going to over-reach its Constitutional bounds. Despite the emotional hyperbole of many of those writings, they were correct.

Reminds me of the tale of the farmer who won a million dollars in the lottery. Neighbor asked him what he was planning to do with all that money he won. His answer, "I guess I'll keep on farming 'til it's gone." As for us, I got our first ripe tomato today, the eggplant has flowers, the chard and beans are growing like gangbusters, and it's too stinking hot to go anywhere near the garden after about 8AM.

http://publiushuldah.wordpress.com/2009/09/08/congress-enumerated-powers/

Has everyone done their homework and re-read the Declaration? http://constitutiondecoded.com/1/post/2013/07/independence-day-2013.html

1120-H cannot be e-filed (or could not for 2012). One of the last mail-in forms.

Here's one for today: The Society for the Preservation of Tithesis commends your ebriated and scrutable use of delible and defatigable, which are gainly, sipid and couth. We are gruntled and consolate that you have the ertia and eptitude to choose such putably pensible tithesis, which we parage.

If I were to be punish-ed by every little pun I shed I'd hie me to a puny shed and there I'd hang my punnish head. Have we all now been pun-ished sufficiently?

Ba-dum- CHA!!!