Catherine

I concur with everyone above -- SO many thanks to Eric, SO many thanks to you all!! I could not run my business without the help I get from my online colleagues. Sole practitioner since ~1997; EA since 2003.

That would best be a consumption tax... ;-)

sent to me by my cousin... A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions. "He gets her name, address, Social Security number, etc. And then asks, "What's your occupation?" "I'm a Lady of the night," she says. The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, " Let's try to rephrase that." The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl". "No, that still won't work. Try again." They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?" "Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year." "Chicken Farmer it is."

Paper file in Mass there is also a checkbox on the bottom of page 1 of the return saying "I do not want my preparer to file electronically" -- don't forget to check that, as well.

The "comparison" is still there -- go to "add forms" and type "comp" in the box -- it will pop right up. I also like to include the summary pages ("sum" in the search).

Paste the verbiage into Word (or whatever document software you use). Shop out the e-file wording and add in the address you can get from the program or TTB or elsewhere. There have been a couple of letters where I've determined 5 minutes with Word was a far better investment of my time than an hour battling ATX's "improved" letters.

Google search for the date the company declared bankruptcy or shut its doors; there is usually an article published somewhere. Or secretary of state where the company incorporated for date of dissolution. Either of those methods gives you a "date worthless" as well as justification in stating the value is $0. Put a copy of the article (paper or electronic) in with the client's documents and keep one for yourself as well.

Of course! How else to determine if it is warm enough to eat -- or hot enough to set aside for a minute before diving in?

It is also possible to have K-1s that are all zeros. I have a couple of children's trusts where no income is distributed; all is held within the trust (which pays trust tax rates on the income; I keep telling the trustees this but ultimately their decision). The trustees, as far as I know, do not send out the K-1s that come with the return as there are no entries. But the K-1s exist.

When people ask if my fee is negotiable, my response is, "Yes -- upwards only." Shuts 'em up pretty quick. The only time I will lower a set fee is if, upon re-examining it, I realize I have made a mistake in my billing. Rare, but it does happen. Did once earlier this year, in fact. Accidentally charged for a form I did not use. Took it off the bill with an explanation of what I was doing and why, so they didn't think they had "talked me down." My husband keeps telling me I under-charge -- and the prior-year bills I see from the big-box-tax-prep refugees certainly seems to bear that out. So no, my fees generally don't go down. On very rare occasion, I have used the tactic promoted here (or perhaps another tax group?) some years ago: tell the client to pay what it is worth to them, and once paid, (assuming the amount is not acceptable to you) wish them luck with their new preparer next year. They have just fired themselves.

Last year, my daughter was in the Faculty Dance Recital at college, seven hours away. Weekend before 4/15. Had to shut down for three days. Fortunately, my clients understand "family first!" and no one complained. Our anniversary is April 1st. We celebrate a month later. Younger daughter's birthday is March 17th (yes, St Patrick's Day). We celebrate on the day but some years I am more glazed over than others. The big thing that starts to get me is the end of the pistol league season butting up against the start of practice-for-rifle-season butting up against the 4/15 deadline. My husband hauled out all the rifle gear today and instead of being happy about it I wanted to go hide. And last Tuesday our pistol match was a double match with another of our club's teams; almost 40 people, four relays, I had to play captain since our captain was working that night. I started running the first relay before 7:30PM and didn't leave with all the scoring done until about 10:30PM. Too long a night after too long a day!!

Thanks, Joan. Those *$^%& RSU's got my head so turned around I wasn't sure which end was up! Wanted a sanity check before putting that one in the "final review" queue. Happy Easter!

Tax Corresponder (a CFS product) has several fire-your-client letters.

Have thought my head around in circles over this one. Client had ESPPs and RSUs. Looked at the ESPPs after figuring the RSUs and got myself royally confused. He bought but did NOT sell any ESPP shares. So, if my thinking (and reading the info in TTB) is correct, he has nothing to report on the ESPPs for 2012. Yes? All the basis questions and the ordinary income versus capital gain etc only gets triggered upon sale? Or have I got it wrong? TIA, Catherine

The 8948 in this case is easy; first checkbox, taxpayer chose to file this return on paper. I've had a couple of these, mainly for adoption credits. The IRS won't accept those e-filed, so I use 6c "other" and put on the lines that hte IRS won't accept e-filed returns claiming the adoption credit (or whatever the cause was). If you do make it out here, it would be delightful to see you again.

Oh, Margaret, no!! Oh that is _such_ a shame; I know how much you enjoyed visiting every year. Oh, my sympathies, dear! On the Mass Form 1 (I assume final return rather than estate?), there is a checkbox down by the preparer information with "I do not wish my preparer to file this electronically". Check that and you are all set. Catherine

I was not "open" today because I went to an accounting client who had a serious glitch in their systems that needed attention pronto. Then this afternoon had a lovely completed form dropoff/visit with an elderly couple who I don't wish to have come here because of the stairs. They didn't have fresh cookies for me this time (phooey and phew!) but it's like visiting old friends. I will work this evening, tomorrow, and probably part of Sunday but will also go to church early as they are doing a Hallelujah chorus and anyone who wishes to sing can come rehearse with the choir. I have sung the alto line for years but can't it's always best not to do it "cold" and with musical score if possible. My non-observant husband doesn't really get the whole Easter thing, and neither daughter can make it home this Sunday so I will observe for myself. Years and years ago, I went with a friend to a Greek Orthodox Easter midnight service. At one point in the service, they go out with the icon and walk around the block, singing in Byzantine Greek. I still remember words and music after all these years. It was really something.

Got those puts figured out (thanks to all; and also TTB for their handy-dandy chart) and entered. A hundred and forty stock transactions in that one return. The RSU's (that have gotten put off 'til tomorrow; I'm quitting for the night!) will seem like a piece of cake by comparison when I get to them.

A friend and my husband both had to "swallow the camera" (as my friend put it). Again, they put you under so you don't know what's going on. The worst part was drinking the glop. I put a big book (size of "War and Peace" lol) in the bathroom and so had entertainment for the day. I got 10 years for a callback. Another friend, whose dad died of colon cancer, had to go every year for probably over a decade; lots of polyps when she was in her 30's! After watching what her dad went through, she considers her every 3 years (or so) schedule to be luxury.

More research is required.... blech. Thanks, Lion! At least I feel better about the RSU calculations facing me today; those I _know_ how to handle.

bump.

my cousin sent me this one... Dave Barry can make anything funny! Fwd Message: Colonoscopy Journal For those that have and those that will, this is a good one... This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. If you ever had a colonoscopy or are planning on one, you can't miss this one!!! ABOUT THE WRITER Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald. Colonoscopy Journal: > I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!' I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies. I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground. MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough. At the clinic, I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked. Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering Around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house. When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that IT was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ. --------------------------------------------------- Colonoscopies are no joke! Get one.

Can you post that procedure? I have turned to extensive use of notes coded "needs review" but prefer the one-click estimated field. Except this year, with estimates, I end up having to delete the form and re-add and re-enter everything.

Two sales; one expired right.

Client who usually has lots of stock transactions brought me the usual spreadsheet of info. It's very nice; all the details already looked up and filled in. I re-arrange things a bit, put it into csv format, import, double check -- poof; done. Well, this year he has three "put" transactions. Completely leaving aside the whole topic of what on earth a "put" is, (I know it is neither a call nor a putsch, further than that not so clear), HOW do I enter these things?!?! TIA, Catherine