Catherine

Oh, I love this!! Here's another story only women laugh at -- and it is absolutely true, as I know the woman involved and she told me at her kitchen table. This woman had a small farm. And on this farm she (NO, this is not Old MacDonald) kept a few goats. And they were always getting into trouble of one kind or another. Goats are obstreperous creatures. And young billy goats are also exceedingly eager to prove their manliness (goatliness?) to any/all female goats (and anything else that doesn't get out of the way fast enough). So this one young billy goat was busy establishing his reputation on anything he could. One day he decided to demonstrate his skills on the post of a split-rail fence. And got a serious case of splinters in an inconvenient location. Which my friend had to take out with tweezers..... one by one ....and it took her a long time. I do not recall the technique she used to restrain the goat during this procedure, but I do remember that by the end of the story, we were both helpless with tears and hiccuping with laughter. But any male human who hears the story kind of collapses in on himself and whimpers "ow ow ow ow ow". Catherine

I have two laser printers that are just terrific: a Brother MFC-8840 DN (B&W multi-function machine) and a Brother 4070 CDW (color). They are networked, they both print duplex (slower than only one side but worth it), and they are both fast (again, duplex is slower because they have to flip the sheets). Set-up was surprisingly fast and painless. The high-capacity toner cartridges are about half again as costly as the regular ones, but do roughly triple the service. At my husband's office they just got a slew of new HP printers and there are apparently some major compatibility problems with their computers. As well as with older equipment they have that cannot print data and reports to these new printers. The IT guys are very busy over there and lots of people are very unhappy about the situation. So before buying new HP's I'd want to do a "test run" for compatibility. Catherine

With thanks to the friend who sent me this..... THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past. Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business. Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving but open to meeting new people. After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there. THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran, ruled by nuts....

No stock; only real estate is the house (not worth much, but she has an appraisal). The preferences will be very good to know about; thank you! Catherine

Hey folks -- I have a client whose husband passed away. They had enough warning that the few things that weren't in joint names were put into both their names well before his death. Total assets are well under any federal or state limits. No IRD; he wasn't employed and any/all interest was from accounts in joint names. What do people think about preparing/filing estate returns with all zeros to get the SOL started? And if so, then in ATX how do I get those zeros to _print_? When I've tried, I get blank lines. Blanks are not equivalent to zeros; they just look like they're blank. Catherine

I don't know what "chitlins aint blue" means either, but it reminds me of another maxim: Red meat isn't bad for you --- fuzzy GREEN meat is bad for you! ;-) Catherine

My contribution is in the little attachment...

Thank you, KC. Catherine

Amusing replies on my choice of terminology, but I'd still appreciate an answer on the SSA filing! Catherine

Hey all -- This year I thought I would try to e-file client W-2's and 1099-MISC's instead of sending them all out on paper (recipient copies would get mailed, of course). I have sent out the signature pages to my clients (I forget the form number, starts with a 6) and even have two of them back. And my state (MA) is on the list of participants in the e-file program. Anything I should be on the lookout for? If these forms get submitted electronically to the IRS, do the W-2's also get sent off to the SSA? Or do those red-ink forms still get mailed out separately? Sorry if this rambles a bit; my nephew and his mom were here for their end-of-college-semester financial checkup and they got into an argument I ended up referree-ing. I manged not to dope-slap either of them, although they both needed it. Maybe I offended them both enough that they won't come to me for "help" anymore. Catherine

Nah, don't take the Sub-Zero. They're "stylish" (although I prefer functional in appliances), but they have a _very_ high rate of repairs according to the various reporting groups. If you're going to take something for your trouble, at least take something that won't cause you even _more_ trouble! Catherine

I worked all day helping my daughter with a dress she is making. It's turning out just gorgeous, but we've been fighting tension problems in the sewing machine. All that's left is the hem, which we will finish tomorrow. Happy New Year to all, and may the year to come bring us all lots of business but not more than we can comfortably handle! I know I'll be looking for help from my wonderful, talented, knowledgeable colleagues here at this forum and the others I read. Catherine

Ditto for me; I date back to ye olde by-hand with pencil on draft, then copy CAREFULLY! in ink on the final. I really like seeing how the forms link to the worksheets to the subsidiary forms to the schedules.... But I must admit that it drives me NUTS sometimes when the bunny "hops" you around in a circle and you don't know where else to look for missing piece X! And I wonder about Bob sometimes -- like if it's time to back away sslloowwllyy, with placating gestures. Catherine

I didn't follow the TV series all that much but did catch it occasionally. But I really liked the original movie with Christy Swanson and Donald Sutherland. PeeWee Herman's unending death was hysterically funny. Catherine

You are all such very STRANGE people. I am proud to be a member of the group. Catherine

If this means you are working in your knickers (and only your knickers), we do not need to know this. Thank you. Catherine ;-)

Many, many thanks to KC and to Eric for making this forum available. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all! Catherine

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary...... 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary... Day 983 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good litt le hunter' I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

I'm just west of Boston. The snow started at noon on Friday, let up briefly on Saturday, and started again Sunday at dawn. By the time all was said and done, we have about 15" of snow (light topped by heavy topped by light). Winds howled at over 50mph last night but today are only supposed to be about 20 mph with gusts over 40mph. I'm about to go out with shovel and snowblower again. You have my sympathies, as it's significantly colder up where you are than it is here. But right now I would be very happy to be living in a place where _I_ don't have to see this myself! Yesterday was the first official day of winter and I'm already tired of cold and wind and snow for this year. Sigh. Catherine

Ever wonder how the angel got on the top of the Christmas tree? From what I heard, it all began ages ago.... It was NOT a good season at the North Pole. Parts had been delayed. Production was behind schedule. The elves were threatening to strike for more jingle bells on their hats. Somehow they made it to Christmas Eve, with Santa managing to keep hold of his temper. The sleigh was being loaded despite the bags not cooperating, the reindeer were fussing about the harnesses -- and there's a knock on the door. Santa flings the door open, "WHAT is it this time?!?!" he snaps at the angel outside. "I've got your Christmas tree, Santa. Where do you want me to put it?"

By the way, Eric -- your swirly graphic eye is amazing.

Without asking for any details, I'll just send my sympathies and my hopes that things work out better going forward. Catherine

Because of KC's warning, I checked and did have the offending .NET thing. So I printed out the KB document to have at the ready, installed ATX, and ended up having no problems. Second time today that "sympathetic magic" worked. But I did have to install ATX twice, because I forgot to do "custom install" and the first time it loaded onto my C drive, when all my tax programs are on my F drive partition. So I needed to move it. Catherine

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.

I have a PayPal button on my web site for a year, and I have had exactly one person use it. At that rate of use, it sure wouldn't be worth it to me to pay $12/month plus all the other fees. The PayPal feature lets me take the (very) occasional credit card payment without spending more in yearly mandatory fees than I'd get in the entire year from users. I recommend it in similar circumstances. I have heard of instances of folks having real trouble trying to get resolution of problems through PayPal. So if you anticipate a lot of usage, it might not be worth the risk. Catherine