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Dear Client, Yes, I know you have dyslexia and write out everything in great detail for yourself. And, I do appreciate your adding up all your income and expenses for me. But, please just send me your adding machine tape with your documents. Do NOT bother copying everything over for me on pretty cover sheets, as you transpose digits -- as you well know -- so I have to readd all your receipts anyway.

Got a standard answer for this one -- "Topeka, Kansas." They don't like the answer - they asked the wrong question. Folks in Kansas may want to substitute "Nome, Alaska" or some other far away location. It has always astounded me how the shortest questions require the longest answers. For example, "How do you do payroll?" Or, "What _is_ AMT?" (Quick answer: alternative MAXIMUM tax.) Catherine

This one's easy: "No need to apologize, and no need to postpone your trip either. As soon as I get your info I'll be preparing your extension. We can deal with this in May or June - no problem."

Dear Client, Thanks a lot for cutting out the copies of canceled checks from your bank statements for your medical expenses and contributions to animal shelters. It is more fun for me to pick up these little 1 x 2 inch rectangles from under my desk where they fell out of your envelope, and add them up, than it would be if you simply gave me a total, you cat lady. Oh, and thanks also for making me realize that I need stronger reading glasses, and a chiropractic adjustment from hitting my back on the bottom of my desk.

OMG, Tom! I hope you haven't told your wife about "us" !!!!!!!! Love and Kisses, Cathy

Forget it. I figured it out. It was not downloading to the correct location. Tom Lodi, cA

Dear Client..... Thank you for ruining my entire afternoon. When you called at 11:30 AM and told me you needed about a half hour of my time, I told you to come at 1:00 so I could have some lunch. You finally left me with my headache at 3:30 after going over and over nearly every business deduction that you should have had posted correctly in the first place. Also, thank you for calling me one half hour after you left to let me know that you are thinking about switching from mileage to actual expenses on your big truck; since I was stupid enough to tell you that was a consideration. Thank you for finally leaving so that I could try to soothe my headache with a cold can of beer, so that you could go home to a nice warm cooked supper while I still have clothes to get off the line and the lunch dishes still on the table. Sincerely yours, Out OF Commission.! :mad:

My favorite this year: Phone message: You told me my federal bracket is 25% and my state bracket is 5%. But you figured I owe the state much more than the federal. This can't make any sense. Please get it corrected. These people are allowed to vote!

Isn't that the truth? Rita has it covered. Why is it that this particular week of the year everyone decides to call and ask if their taxes are done. I am beginning to sound like an echo saying "There are forty ahead of you!" And.........they just keep coming.

Dear Client, Thank you for calling on Jan 31 to tell me you were coming Feb 1, then showing up Mar 1. Thanks for saying, "Oh, I understand!" when I told you I am two weeks behind. Thanks for calling anyway on Mar 4 to see if I'm done. You are hands down my favorite client now.