Gail in Virginia Posted February 16, 2010 Report Share Posted February 16, 2010 AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES: 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK. 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER. 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH. 6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. 7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM. DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margaret CPA in OH Posted February 16, 2010 Report Share Posted February 16, 2010 Thanks, Gail, I needed that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jainen Posted February 17, 2010 Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 >>WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE<< In my opinion, these are the second and third basic foundations of Western Civilization. Number One is the Vise-Grip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted February 17, 2010 Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 Gail -- that was just WONDERFUL! Thanks so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnH Posted February 17, 2010 Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 >>WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE<< In my opinion, these are the second and third basic foundations of Western Civilization. Number One is the Vise-Grip. I agree in principle, but in my opinion there's a slightly different order. Western Civlization is built of concrete & steel, but it's all held together by duct tape and Velcro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted February 17, 2010 Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 I agree in principle, but in my opinion there's a slightly different order. Western Civlization is built of concrete & steel, but it's all held together by duct tape and Velcro. Indoor plumbing gets my vote!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bstaxes Posted February 17, 2010 Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 Thanks you the laugh and the smile on my face. My Dad says duct tape is good for everything, including holding body parts together. It really stops the bleeding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lion EA Posted February 18, 2010 Report Share Posted February 18, 2010 The greatest invention was venetian blinds, because without them it'd be curtains for all of us. That was actually on a sociology exam I had in high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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