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It seems to be just COBbled together.

My sled is pulled by Husk.eee's

what did the baby corn say to the mom corn? Wheres the pop-corn.

>>Have we all now been pun-ished sufficiently?<< It's a tough world--you gotta have grit. Too bad we can't just all get along in hominy.

If I were to be punish-ed by every little pun I shed I'd hie me to a puny shed and there I'd hang my punnish head. Have we all now been pun-ished sufficiently?

Am I being stalked...?

When I first opened it, the pictures weren't there. I wondered what you were all talking about. I just went back and looked and now I see a kernel of truth.

If this thread continues much longer, it's going to be hard to understand without a crib sheet.

Amaizing!

Well it just popped right out at me!!!

Aw shucks, I guess not.

Here's one for today: The Society for the Preservation of Tithesis commends your ebriated and scrutable use of delible and defatigable, which are gainly, sipid and couth. We are gruntled and consolate that you have the ertia and eptitude to choose such putably pensible tithesis, which we parage.

I'm 77. I hope they don't decide to make sole Proprietors retire at a certain age. If I retire, there won't be anyone to continue my business. It will go kaput. Personally, I feel that no one should be forced to retire as long as they are able to perform their job efficiently, unless there has to be a layoff, then those who are of retirement age should be the ones to go first.

Sent to me some years ago... your mileage may vary. I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me. By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace. The article read: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." Such simple advice. So, I looked around to see all the things I started and hadn't finished. Today I finished one bottle of red wine, a bottle of Jack Daniel's, my Prozac, a box of chocolates and a half gallon of rocky road ice-cream. You have no idea how good I feel......

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping." "I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals." "I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says. "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

Sounds like the original agreement and purchase created a non-related party partnership of real estate holding. Since the only asset was real estate no partnership return was required if each owner reports their own 1040 income and expenses according to the agreement. It appears the quick claim deed transfers ownership without sale proceeds, gain or loss, so no sale required to report by Jill, however, Jack may need a Form 4797 (zero sale loss) to report any tax basis in the real estate. Jack having zero income and expense has no need to continue reporting on Sch-E. Jill will now have rental income and expense to report on 1040 Sch-E and nothing more until sale of the property.

It was my understanding that we are required to have written authorization, including certain specified statements as to purpose and length of time, to provide tax return information to anyone other than the client. While many of my clients probably think this is a pain, they have gotten so used to privacy restrictions that they just accept that and come by and sign. Without written authorization, such as my form or a subpoena, I don't even acknowledge that they are my client.

I think justice might be well served if she is granted immunity. As much as the left would like to sweep this under the rug, it isn't likely to go away. Sooner or later some people will crawl out from under the bus.

I would NOT disclose any tax information about a current or former client without written authorization from the taxpayer unless it is a law enforcement request subject to proper credentials and authorization. There is too much risk for us with identity thieves wanting to get their hands on a tax return. I must get have got over a dozen requests last year and this year from mortgage brokers wanting me to verify the tax returns of clients who submit that for loan refinance. Each case I get a written authorization from the taxpayer much to the displeasure of the broker. Few years back a divorce attorney was trying to arm twist me to fax a copy of the return for one of the litigants without an authorization! You have to be extra careful these days.

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was way too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she still couldn't! So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and yet again was unable to take the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!" The Texan smiled, tipped his hat, and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind'a figured we was pretty good friends."

It is so hot here today... I saw two beagles chasing a rabbit and they were all three walking....

So here I drop in to see what's happening on the ATX Forum and a corny joke pops out at me....

In case you needed a chuckle... Weight Loss Plan A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. ... She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me." Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!" He lost 63 pounds that week.

Thanks, KC! I love the one from Jay Leno!