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Showing content with the highest reputation on 09/30/2018 in Posts

  1. Remember, you ASKED for this: The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop. He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.” “Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?” "That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones. He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?” The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track. Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds." The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track. The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!" The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over. "What seems to be the problem, sir?" "This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!" The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side." Ba-dum-CHA!
    2 points
  2. I second the self-congratulation (tax preparers have to occasionally do that if no one else will shoulder the load). About the QBI phaser - isn't that a Star Trek thing? I knew I should have gone to that university seminar instead of buying those easy-peasy CPE hours online. Wish I could share your optimism. I'm leery of such speculations ever since somebody here once said Obamacare would be similar to Romneycare and probably no trouble, while another commented, "Maybe so, but it's no walk in the park," which was a mild understatement.
    2 points
  3. Customer whose retired dad lived with him (had same name except for middle initial) was a Chrysler salesman when the company was struggling financially a few years ago. Good salesman though and, although he usually got paid at the office, corporate headquarters mailed him performance bonus checks (without the middle initial) for two months after year ended. He worried aloud one day about the store going out and Pop said "Well, hell; it's no wonder they're going broke! They've sent me two big checks lately and they don't owe me a dime!" Salesman cracked up laughing, but graciously never told the old boy what it was about.
    1 point
  4. I agree. Catherine wants to build suspense and expectation before telling her joke(s).
    1 point
  5. Currently, 8GG is perfect, but within the next two or three years 8GB might not be enough. 16GB will be perfect at that time, so if you want to be safe, 32GB will be a perfect purchase. Remember, that a computer will last at least 5 years... who knows what computer power will programs demand in 4 years.
    1 point
  6. With no forms, and no instructions from the IRS, I have calculated the federal and CA state tax for my client for 2018 based off their income estimates. And the taxpayer is subject to the QBI phase-out, and I nailed that too. Damn, I can actually do this stuff sometimes when I put my mind to it. This may not be as terrible as I thought it was going to be. Tom Modesto, CA
    1 point
  7. 1 point
  8. THE GOLF BALL AND THE SAND WEDGE A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet. Then the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, 'Dark in here.' The man says, 'Yes, it is.' Boy - 'I have a golf ball.' Man - 'That's nice.' Boy - 'Want to buy it?' Man - 'No, thanks.' Boy - 'My dad's outside.' Man - 'OK, how much?' Boy - '$250' A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - 'Dark in here.' Man - 'Yes, it is.' Boy - 'I have sand wedge.' The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?' Boy - '$750' Man - 'Sold.' A few days later, the boy's father says to the boy, 'Grab your sand wedge and golf ball, let's go outside and have some short game practice.' The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and sand wedge dad.' The father says, 'What?! How much did you sell them for?' Boy - '$1,000.' The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is far more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.' They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, 'Dark in here.' The priest says, 'Don't start that shit with me again. You're in my closet now!
    1 point
  9. Interesting story - about 30 years ago I got a new family for a client - parents and 2 teen-age sons. One son also had same name as his father except for middle initial. When that son showed me his W-2 - it had the father's Social Security number on it. Since he didn't have his own Social Security number with him at the time he applied for the job - he knew his father's number and used that - figuring with the same name IRS wouldn't know the difference.
    1 point
  10. I believe that even if I thought @RitaB was not correct I would not point it out to her. I saw all the flowers from the fertile ground in her back 40 for myself. But I really think she is correct as well. Tom Modesto, CA
    1 point
  11. I believe if the rent charged is a flat rate regardless of sales by the tenant, Sch E is correct. Use Form 4835 if the landowner's rent depends on production by the tenant. See p. 2: https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f4835.pdf
    1 point
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