kcjenkins

I'm trying to apply Oliver's Law (#18) more often, especially with my beloved husband, who is driving me insane these days!

I'm just sort of wondering why that "Subcontracted Work" was not just listed as Inventory Purchases, myself? clearly that is what it really was. I bet once that is made clear, the audit will become much simpler.

Goggle "tax jokes' and you will get lots of good links.

Laws of the Universe 1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. 2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. 5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time). 7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. 8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. 12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug. 15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are. 16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. 17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly. 18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet. 19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

I agree Tom, we all need each other in this crazy tax environment, where the rules change practically overnight. And that is not a political comment, it will happen no matter who is elected. This might be a good time for all of us to consider clicking on that DONATE button one more time, by the way. I know Eric won't ask, but let's see if we can give him a little cushion between now and Jan.

Absolutely.

All I can tell you is that they have always provided for the MANDATORY requirements for all states.

Performance Evaluations - Actually recorded by their supervisors: . (1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom.....and has started to dig." (2) "His men would follow him anywhere, ....... but only out of morbid curiosity." (3) "I would not allow this employee to breed." (4) "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'." (5) "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap." (6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet." (7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle." (8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy. (9) "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." (10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot." (11) "This employee should go far, ..... and the sooner he starts, the better." (12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together." (13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus." (14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless." (15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier." (16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime." (17) "He's been working with glue too much." (18) "He would argue with a signpost." (19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately." (20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room." (21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell." (22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, ..... he's the other one." (23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on." (24) "A prime candidate for natural deselection." (25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it." (26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming." (27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it." (28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week." (29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." (30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans." (31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg." (32) "One neuron short of a synapse." (33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;..... he only gargled." (34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes." (35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

Buck up, RC. You did nothing wrong, and you do not owe anyone 25¢, much less $250. They actually owe you, although you are not likely to get it.

No, they can not use the 08 rule for a return that begins in 07.

There's Only One October... Two ninety-year old men, Moe and Sam, have been friends all their lives. It seems that Sam is dying, so Moe comes to visit him. "Sam," says Moe, "You know how we have both played and loved baseball all our lives. Sam, you have to do me one favor. When you go, somehow you've got to tell me if there's baseball in heaven." Sam looks up at Moe from his death bed and says, "Moe, you've been my friend many years. This favor I'll do for you." And with that, Sam passes on. It is midnight a couple nights later. Moe is sound asleep when a distant voice calls out to him, "Moe.... Moe...." "Who is it?" says Moe sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?" "Moe, it's Sam." "Come on. You're not Sam. Sam died." "I'm telling you," insists the voice. "It's me, Sam!" "I'm in heaven," says Sam, "and I've got to tell you, I've got some good news and some bad news." "Tell me the good news first," says Moe. "The good news," says Sam "is that there is baseball in heaven." "Really?" says Moe, "That's wonderful! What's the bad news?" "You're pitching Tuesday!!!"

Through A Child's Eyes... NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!" HONESTY My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago." OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4- year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!" DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.." DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn .. and into the hole he gooooes." SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

It is ALMOST NEVER wise to put real estate into a corp, because of the double-taxation issue. Using one or more LLCs might be a wise move, although that should be combined with good insurance coverage. And be sure he gets a good attorney to set up the LLCs, because the Op Agreement is critical in a lawsuit. No do-it-yourself package will give him all the protection he's looking for.

The Pharmacist... A lady walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacists eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy -- I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacists wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

By the way, Eric, I had one that had to have liquid meds, [back in my younger days before my cat allergy got too bad to have one] tried the dropper, got sprayed with the froth, etc. I tried mixing the liquid meds with some peanut butter, then dabbing that on her paws. She licked it off, I repeated, etc. By the second day, she would hold out her paw for it!!! I don't know why she would not touch it in a bowl, but hey, she was a CAT. Don't know if all of them would do that, but you might want to try it.

Deb, I'm guessing that the best thing you can do to help her is to let her know that you NEED her help. It may give her a feeling that she has to push herself to be there FOR YOU, and that focus will help her to look forward. Being needed is always important, and after her focusing so much on caring for him, she needs a new focus. So don't hesitate to put her to work, you will be helping her as she helps you.

ROTFLMAO

Chief, for that you probably need to post this message on the OFFICIAL ATX board. Unfortunately, right now that board [and all of MyATX] is down for servicing. to get ready for the new program. But it should be up in a day or two. Frankly, we don't need to draw CCH's attention to this board, because they would probably rather shut us down than have us compete with 'their' board, which they control. They already banned some users for posting negative comments. Stay with us, but check out their board from time to time, is my advice. Their board has very little traffic, for obvious reasons.

Another reason for prefering dogs!!!!!!!!!!! They really are often that easy. Bacon, cheese, and peanut butter are usually all it takes.

How To Give Your Pet A Pill... How To Give Your Cat A Pill: 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. 6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. 8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. 9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. 11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. 12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. 13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. 14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. 15. Arrange for ASPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. How To Give Your Dog A Pill: 1. Wrap it in bacon. 2. Toss it in the air.

Hey, Tere, wonderful to see you on here at last. What took you so long? We missed you.

No, just because you have retirement income from some other state, does not make it taxable to that state, if you are a non-resident.

Taxbilly is also in FL. On the east coast near Cape Canaveral.

TaxWise was not shut down, Intellitax was shut down. And the users will be encouraged to go to either TaxWise or ATX, depending on which of those programs suits their needs better. Some will no doubt come over to ATX, some to TaxWise. But I doubt that many will like the TaxWise format as much as they liked ATX. Just my guess, based on my own reaction to it. TaxWise has fantastic user numbers only because the IRS uses part of it.

That thread was entitled S Corp Salaries. If you do a search for "Scorp Salaries" you will find it.