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How does my new pic look?

I haven't changed much in 20 years.....Except for a little more ear hair..Sorry!

Jerry: So if you did your sermon outline in your sleep, would I retain more of the message if I fell asleep DURING that sermon? I have an urgent need for an answer before next Sunday.

In addition to having sleep apnea, I have a condition called lucid dreaming. While I'm asleep I'm often consciously thinking. I've figured out several tax issues while asleep, I've done entire sermon outlines in my sleep. I was once having trouble setting up a computer network. Worked on it for three days. In my sleep I figured it out, woke myself up and in 30 minutes had it running. That little 'gift' comes in handy at times . . . but most of the time it's a royal pain! Sure doesn't make for very restful sleep.

Vaseline survey A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?' She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.' 'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?' ... 'We use it for sex.' The researcher was a little taken back. 'Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?' The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all... My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out.' And you thought it was gonna be a dirty joke...! Shame on you !

Just fyi -- I signed up for Ruby Receptionists this year, to have a live person answer the phones without it being me. They have been a Godsend, and my clients have commented on "how nice she is" answering the phones. They also have confidential voice mail for those leaving sensitive information. If anyone here is interested, they can investigate at https://pearl.callruby.com/Referred.aspx?r=4M43QV NOT shilling for them -- but especially with all the ATX problems this year I would have been even more overwhelmed without Ruby to answer my phones. Catherine

Someone recently asked for my bio for a brochure they're doing. Here's what I sent (I wish the pic would have copied in--I used a photo of Millard Filmore): Jerry S is a world renowned chess master (to even the odds, he often plays with one arm tied behind his back!) and also was the first to ever scale Mt Neverest while blindfolded and with one hand tied behind his back. At the tender age of three he pioneered the one-handed method of playing violin (he plays the Minute Waltz in 53 seconds flat!). You’ve heard of the 1976 war between the US and Andorra? Of course not! Jerry single handedly averted it through a masterful combination of shrewd diplomacy and shameless pandering to special interest groups on both sides. He declined consideration for the Noble Peas Prize due to his distaste for legumes. As you have no doubt deduced, Jerry is an accomplished fabricationist and is also adept at abject obfuscation. He is a 98th degree holder in the mythic Order of Fahrenheit. He denies having introduced John to Yoko, but admits to playing a minor role in the demise of the Beatles by having failed to purchase the White Album. He was the first to envision the charismatic Amish movement now sweeping the region. He speaks, reads and writes ESL fluently. In his spare time he enjoys hosting outdoor ping-pong tournaments at hurricane parties and dabbling in neurological microsurgery. Fabulously wealthy by the age of sixteen, Jerry gave it all to charity and is now relegated to taking part-time jobs and volunteering at church food pantries (mainly to scarf leftovers at the free food centers). Jerry is married to the extraordinary Jeanie S. At last count they had five children and fourteen grandchildren, each of whom has accomplished exploits that far outshine Jerry’s. If you don’t believe it, just ask him. He’ll talk about his grandkids all day! If there’s anything else you need to know just call 555-1212 . . . ask for Jerry.

If they converted it to rental, they owe the entire amount back. It was FREE to begin with, with only a few requirements. It was not "fair" that they received it in the first place. They owe the "windfall" back because they did not fulfill the simple requirements. Not a situation I have any sympathy for. Sounds like they bought an overpriced property and the FTHB credit was part of what convinced them to do it.

I just tell them I'm not willing to go to jail for them. That usually convinces them or chases them off.

>>If she called on 4/20 with the same question she'd be blaming you << Really? 'Round here everyone's pretty mellow on 420!

We use a LOT of paper plates during tax season. Sometimes, we just eat our chips right out of the bag and drink our beer or soda from the can.

HEY!!!! This IS me - -really - -and not more than - - um - - 4 years ago - - Santa FINALLY saw my letter from about 50+ years ago, and delivered the BEST stress relief EVER - - a DRUM SET!!! Seriously - -I can go down to the basement - - put on some classic rock , and bang away - - - best therapy ever!!! :spaz: :spaz:

One morning a grandmother was surprised to be awakened by her 7 year old grandson, who had made her a cup of coffee. Smiling, she drank what had to be the worst coffee she had ever tasted. At the bottom of the cup she found 3 small green army men. Puzzled, she asked him, "Honey, why are there these Army men in the cup?" Her grandson answered, "Like it says on TV, Grandma. The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup."

>> As a general rule, you should place a picture of yours that was taken 10-20 years ago.<< Which is exactly the reason some of us do not use our own picture!!!!!

On the top right corner, pull down the menu from Christian and then select profile and then change profile and you should be able to change the picture. As a general rule, you should place a picture of yours that was taken 10-20 years ago.

I am sitting here on 12.9, and doing well. Couple of irritating things that I work around. Is it ok to intall 12.13 from here? I think yes, but I also think I will wait a while to do it. Maybe the 16th. lol.