BLACK BART

new laws - what are you doing? By WITAXLADY, 22 hours ago in General Chat Not much.

I once had the heart-warming experience of listening to one side of a two-part phone conversation between a mom in my office and her no-account, unemployed, live-at-home slacker kid back at the house. No problem about claiming himself 'cause Mom (who handled all obligations) hadn't filed it for him yet. I figured his deduction was worth about $150 to him (mowed some yards) and $800 to Mom; she insisted she would "pay him back" the $150. The back and forth went on for a bit until Mom suddenly stopped short and, overcome with frustration, blurted out "Raymond; I am not ripping you off!" Surely there must be justice waiting somewhere, someday............

Mine crashed too. Panic in the trenches..."Oh, noooo, not now, not now!" Possible new computer, compatible new printer, driver downloads, phone tech help time, hooking everything up; lost programs, arggghhh! Mine started going haywire yesterday after I rolled over my first 2016 ATX client to 2017 program. I'd seen the MalWareBytes pop-up too. I've got premium MWB but don't know if it's set for automatic updates or not. Later punched the pop-up but don't know If that was the problem or the cure update. I uninstalled two high-memory usage programs and the memory increase (I think) put me (sort of) back in business - either that or the MWB fix. Shut everything down and left off overnight. Opened up normal this morning and I think all is okay now.

These prices probably won't mean much to anybody here unless below the Mason-Dixon line, non-urban, or away from the southern east coast.

Uh, yeah; sounds right.

Yardley, one-upping your proverb: "TO EVERY DOG, HIS MASTER IS NAPOLEON - HENCE, THE POPULARITY OF DOGS!" --- Anonymous

Hmmm; never thought of it that way before. Before Max came up with his defense (below) of my position, I was gonna suggest if the auditor was willin' to put in the time, that he subpoena all the kid's teachers to swear and declare he/she existed in physical reality and was present all the days they could remember. Don't know if they'd have to have followed 'em home a few times or not. You're a gentleman and a scholar, Max! ______________________________________ Children should be SEEN and not heard. -- IRS

Best thing I've found is a report card from whatever school they're going to. Many schools will list the kid's full pedigree: name, address, age, DOB, grade they're in (and grades), phone number, school year enrolled for, parents' name, address, and related information. So anyway, if you've got that then you're ready to roll. Unfortunately, some schools don't list the home address (although T/P may have kept the envelope it was mailed in). Other stuff of course (next best) is medical records, then day care bills (sometimes pretty sketchy), social security and/or insurance cards (I know, I know - those two generally don't have anything except the name but it's something). Next year -- DNA

Good grief! Talk about tying yourself in knots over not much of nothing - small corps do this kind of stuff all the time. And a 2011 gift tax return - can you imagine IRS is interested? The money difference in licenses, insurance, and operating expenses isn't significant - maybe she did actually drive to the parts store for pop during the six years; who can say? Anyhow, bury the body and move on without adding an ulcer and subtracting a client.

Thank you.

What about the standard meal allowance for long-haul truckers who work for others, get a W-2, but no reimbursement for meals while on the road out-of-town overnight? While most employers DO pay them something (either a flat so-many dollars per day or actual reimbursement/accountable plan), a few get nothing. That would be a big hit for them since it's a 2106 2% job expense item.

I thought of a pretty good one myself (not actually a joke, but a funny happening of sorts). Clients who had sold their business came in last week for some tax advice (after the fact, of course) and prompted a remembrance of laughs past. Some years ago, they stopped by the office to leave their W-2s but we had to stop discussing the case because school was out and they said they had to go get the kids. I asked "What kids? You told me two years ago you weren't claiming any." They said, "Oh no, we've got two children but we can't put them on our income tax return because we already claimed both of them on our W-4 forms." Barbershop advice resulting in many chuckles and two 1040Xs .

slow today. Anybody heard any good jokes lately? (FDNY is usually good for one or two.)

Well, I wasn't aware you could get it for free until reading the above "Final Copy" posts. Actually, I kind of liked the old "J.K.Lasser's Monthly Tax Letter". It was simple, easy-to-read, about tax only, and was of practical use. Only thing; the way you had to get it was by ordering the old layman's "yellow book" and it sort of cast doubt on your credibility as a preparer since anybody who saw it in your office figured that was your version of a "CCH/RIA library". I'm a paid subscriber (12 months-$38 to "The Kiplinger Tax Letter-P.O. Box 62301, Tampa, FL 33662-2301/1-800-544-0155). Unfortunately, I'm "twice" subscribed since, as you know, they start sending "near-expire" letters about one or two months after you subscribe. My wife has a PTIN (which I assume IRS-under their double-standard disclosure rules-gave them) and I, while aware of the "quick-expire" ruse but not paying attention, accidentally duplicated it with her solicitation notice. They send two letters: "The Kiplinger Letter" and the "The Kiplinger TAX Letter". I only wanted the "tax" letter since the other "regular" letter, as someone noted, is just projective (I.e.; it may rain/it may not rain). Now, I guess I'll try to do as the other "wise men/women" here do and never send money again. By the way, folks - do you get it regularly (as if subscribed) or just once a year or what? And do you get the "tax" (blue) letter or the "world situation" (beige) letter, or both?

Drat! I thought I'd moved far enough South that civilization couldn't locate me down here on Pigeon Roost Pike (had to move-Possum Grape got "gentrified"), but that dang 21st century keeps creepin' in. A while back some lost sheep carrying a sheaf of QuickBooks papers strayed in; said a big-town CPA threw 'em out, and would I save them from the 10-15 guillotine? Sacrifice is demanded here since I've never done a QB case before (hard to believe, I know; I keep up-to-date {own a cell phone}). They printed out the whole set of books, I located the P&L, and it all seems laid-out okay: sales, m'dse. cost, utilities, insurance, supplies, etc. except for one little item ($40K) oddly entitled "Ask The Tax Man" (I anticipate a bit of diggin' on that one). This has apparently been goin' on for years, so I don't think I'll go back later and unearth any buried bodies. Anything else I need to know? The last "real" set of books I saw was in 1975 - a big cloth-bound ledger held together with those screw-together steel extensions (if you recognize those you're a bit long-in-the-tooth too - sure was fun trying to balance those columnar pages). Now I got to figure out what to charge - this case is different from my usual clientele. Here's a more typical one - the story was dug up from ten years ago (I just love to read my own stuff....) "...a feisty gal came in and set down a 13 gallon garbage sack full of tickets, bills, receipts, scribbled notices, and a half-eaten sandwich; asked "How much for income tax?" While ordinarily applying scientific business metric platform-pricing analysis, I had unfortunately loaned the bathroom scales to my cousin last week. Forced to rely on keen business acumen and shrewd Kentucky windage (she's got 11 rent houses), I hoisted the sack, gave it a good theatrical lookin'-at, and (trying to sound assertive) declared "500 bucks." "Done!" she said.

Well John, It's okay with me. P.S. In such cases where I don't know what the hell I'm doin'; I tend to follow that rule of "Do what you want to do...and the hell with everybody else."

Whether it's waived or not, I wouldn't be counting on ever receiving anything substantial from them in a class action lawsuit (not sure about individual lawsuits). I used to play the market quite a bit and over the years was involved in several class action suits (American Express, Red Hat, eMachines, Amazon (no, I didn't keep that last one-I knew it would never get past $34). Anyway, those things are a lawyer's dream - they typically sue the companies for $25-50-100 million; name 2 to 5 people as "token plaintiffs," and pay them about $5K each. A very small portion goes to the actual injured parties (you), and the lawyers keep the remaining lion's share (many millions). One (filing against American Express, I think) even gouged with the stipulation that they (the lawyers) were also to receive a minimum of $2.5M for "mailing and handling" with the reservation that they must be reimbursed if such cost exceeded that amout and noting that they "expected it would." While I don't remember my check amounts received exactly, I believe they ranged from about $5 to $75 each.

It's the incredible, shrinking....everything. Just happened to think of TV dinners "back when" and pulled this one up. Last one I bought was about 1/2 this size. https://www.google.com/search?q=ORIGINAL+TV+DINNER+1950S&tbm=isch&imgil=LrTkzSns6V4LyM%3A%3BfUHxFtt8dwUhLM%3Bhttps%253A%252F%252Fen.wikipedia.org%252Fwiki%252FTV_dinner&source=iu&pf=m&fir=LrTkzSns6V4LyM%3A%2CfUHxFtt8dwUhLM%2C_&usg=__5w3XALGlIOkAQ_Lbkl_rimSZVRQ%3D&biw=1280&bih=575&ved=0ahUKEwjx_Iuj2anUAhXD24MKHWy0C38QyjcISA&ei=D-A2WbG5GMO3jwTs6K74Bw#imgdii=GuVZfkPFp0ymEM:&imgrc=LrTkzSns6V4LyM:&spf=1505344901791

**it happens! A friend's wife used to be a supervisor at Time-Warner's corporate office in Memphis and we also were astounded when she told us that management had installed miniature padlocks on the toilet paper holders in all bathroom facilities. Apparently the employees were making off with them on a regular basis.

Let me amend that statement a bit; John's is more accurate.

I don't think so. This season I turned one away, they left my office at eleven, I went to lunch at 11:45 and their car was parked in front of Block's. So, no problem for them. Too bad though; they weren't a PIA and (later) took two relatives with them. Damn those confounded ethics anyway; all l had to do was agree that since the installment buyers of their spare house "just make the bank payment" any fool could see there was no gain. You're right about ditching a terrible client though. I priced one out of the office over ten years ago and still get a touch of euphoria every time I see that crummy #%*&^@. Life is soooo much better........ If I didn't dislike his successor preparer so much I'd feel really bad about it.

They're coming in the windows down here. Maybe if we could persuade legislators to propose capital punishment......

Feels good getting it off your chest doesn't it? Wish I had a dollar for everything that comes up and I can't do diddly about it. Maybe tax problems will be more modest in Modesto.

Aw, okay; you've got a point and I yield. If it saved $3K, then I'd Just curious, but are there any paper clips in your office? Regards, Pop

Possible, but unlikely. Anybody can lift a computer, but you'd need a dolly and a willing workman for locked, heavy file cabinets. As Rita points out, it's a lot of work. And, as a deputy sheriff client once told me, "They steal because they're too lazy to work." Wouldn't that also destroy your storage devices if you keep them in your office or home? Offsite storage by a vendor is an option, but who knows who works there and has full access to your stuff? That "cloud" I hear so much about might work, but unless God's tending to it along with the moon and stars I'm not interested. That happens, so I'll 'fess up. After closing each night we backup two copies of all clients on flash drives and then stash them under a 50 yard blanket of blown loose particles insulation if intruders care to climb up in the uncooled/unheated attic and search. One copy stays there - one later goes to a safe deposit box with prior years' clients. I think they'll be okay there unless Kim the Young'Un pops off that EMP. Well, as a friend of mine once told an electronista, everybody "runs his shop" a different way. I like paper; you and Jack like electrons and it's alright with me. I didn't mean to offend with my above outburst of cussin' and know y'all were just trying to be helpful, so thanks to both of you for that. P. S. I have to disagree about the "ton" of savings; this season cost $90-paper, $200-toner, plus our mom and pop wages are zero. I can live with that.