ILLMAS

You should have a SAVE ME buddy, I get many calls for free advice, I have an office so all my calls are via the office phone, I don't use my cell phone during office hours, so what I do is I text my good friend "Save me" and she calls my cell phone right away. I put the cell phone to up the telephone and tell whomever is on the line, I need to let you go, I have a very important call I need to attend. Then I just simply thank my friend for saving me, works every time.

A farmer lived in ancient Rome. He was working in the fields one day when he came across a giant strawberry, about one foot wide and 18 inches high. He thought this would be a novelty that many would want to see, so he took it home, washed it off, and set up a display in a case. He advertised the giant strawberry far and wide, and people came from all over to see the exhibit. He charged admission and made a pile of money. However, he failed to report his earnings to the tax authorities, so they came to his farm to confiscate the exhibit. When they arrived at his door, he said, "I suppose you have come all this way to admire my exhibit as well?" "No," they said. "We've come to seize your berry, not to praise it."

A lady walks in to see her plastic surgeon for her yearly touch ups, the doctor asked her if she wanted to try out this new procedure where they put a screw on top of you head and you tweak it once you see a wrinkle. The excited lady says of course, sign me up for it, the doctor then cautions her not to over do it. After a couple of months later the lady comes in storming in the doctors office wanting to talk to him, she starts telling the doctor, this new procedure has done nothing but given me bags under my eyes and then the doctor reminded her, I told you to use caution, but if you keep adjusting the screw pretty soon you are going to end up with a beard

This is a great video to share with teens or even adults that are lost in this world. http://youtu.be/FNXwKGZHmDc

A former client of mine called me about two year, to see why his co-workers were getting huge refunds and they made the same, and how come he was getting so little back. I calmly told him, please bring a copy of their tax return to compare them and I will tell you the reason, not happy he asked his workers why they were getting large refunds, and they invited him to visit the Tax Lady (I am not kidding on the name of the business), after he visits the tax preparing couple, he calls me to ask if he should do it. What they were doing was inflating unreimbursed employee expenses and pretty much cooking the books on Sch A, I told my former client, don't do it, one I won't be able to help if you get caught, secondly you could go to jail etc.... Anyway, last year out of the blue, he called me to thank me for discouraging him going through the amendment of his tax return, everyone at his work was caught, were summoned to appear in court and what have you not and they were in deep doodoo. And guess what, the Tax Lady didn't exist because they never signed the amended tax returns.

What I found more shocking was the preparers were preparing fraudulent 1099's, and you are right of any reasonable person , but when it comes to money who's reasonable.

From Accountingtoday: http://www.accountingtoday.com/news/Married-Tax-Preparers-Sentenced-Prison-67936-1.html

A visiting grand parent asked his grandson what is this blue pill bottle I found in your medicine cabinet, the grand son replies that is Viagra, so the the grand father asked if he can have one and the grandson replies no, they are too expensive, how expensive the grand father asks, it's $30 a pill, no problem I can pay that, I will leave the $30 under your pillow. The next day the grandson checks his pillow and finds $330, so thinking maybe his grand father misunderstood him, he calls him to clarify things, gramps I said the pills were $30 a pill not $330, grand father replies, the $30 were from me and the $300 was from your grandmother

Thanks, this lesson in history reminds me of how California was part of Mexico and they can't live in peace in their ancestors territory.

Please read, I think this fits well with whats going on with TV, music etc... http://www.funnymemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Funny-memes-stop-making-stupid-people-famous1.jpg

Took this picture this evening

This picture says it all. Like if you agree Comment if you disagree http://i.imgur.com/5Y2bI.jpg

Enough said

Does anyone know when all states will allow them to get married?

I still remember when the movie Dirty Dancing came out and people were disgusted.

TP has borrowed money from his S-corp and also has loaned money to it over the years, so on the balance sheet we have due from shareholder and due to shareholder, in 2012 they wanted to clean up the BS and have them offset each other. Now on the K-1, line 16, E, it appears as if the shareholder (reduced his basis) was repaid X amount of dollars, but technically he didn't. He received no cash, and I just want to make sure this doesn't get him in trouble. Thanks

That's one reason I haven't become an acceptance agent, I use a third party to photocopy TP documents, translate if needed then notarized the copies being sent to the IRS, they can then decide if yes or no. So far I haven't had any problems or rejections.

The picture on my profile is of my daughter, I'm too ugly. And my name is Marco, I thought I would joke about Pat, it was a SNL sketch, people couldn't figure out if IT was a she or a he. In that picture my daughter was only 4-5 months old, now she almost 5.

I am still a he by the name of Pat lol http://youtu.be/VwT1kp0C3Ss

I was told that I can deduct my association fees for my personal home.

Only us get a kick out of this

I was told I don't need to report rental income because my property is in foreclosure These two are real question I was asked: This question is coming from person that works the register: Is it true I can deduct sales tax on my tax return, I have a lot of receipts I collected. This coming from a person that also works the register at a convenience store: Is it true I can deduct scratch off tickets (gambling losses) I always keep them. In these two cases, both were advice to keep receipts from customers who don't request a receipt or who come in to check if they won something. Oy vey I tell you

Most small tax-exempt organizations whose annual gross receipts are normally $50,000 or less are required to electronically submit Form 990-N, also known as the e-Postcard, unless they choose to file a complete Form 990 or Form 990-EZ instead. If you do not file your e-Postcard on time, the IRS will send you a reminder notice. There is no penalty assessment for late filing the e-Postcard, but an organization that fails to file required e-Postcards (or information returns – Forms 990 or 990-EZ) for three consecutive years will automatically lose its tax-exempt status. The revocation of the organization’s tax-exempt status will not take place until the filing due date of the third year. Due Date of the e-Postcard The e-Postcard is due every year by the 15th day of the 5th month after the close of your tax year. For example, if your tax year ended on December 31, the e-Postcard is due May 15 of the following year. If the due date falls on a Saturday, Sunday, or legal holiday, the due date is the next business day. You cannot file the e-Postcard until after your tax year ends. Tell the treasurer to send the IRS penalty bill to the attorney, if it was one year you can get by, but two years there is a very high chance your client will owe a hefty amount for late filing, 990 late fees are no joke.

I was invited to be part of a small business workshop, they are allowing me to speak on anything related to small business, so I have chosen to talk about tax myths based on questions people usually ask because their hair dresser gave them tax advice.... You know the story already. Here are a few of my top questions I get asked: Is it true that I don't pay taxes for the first two years because it's a new business... Is it true I can pay myself with a 1099 (corporate).... I pay so much money to the state already (sales tax) why do I have still have to pay federal and state taxes at the end of the year.... I never paid taxes with the prior accountant.... Is it true I don't need to report all my income....

Here is a picture of my garden, took 3 months to create, hope you like it. MAS