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How about the client who wants to know why I didn't take the credit for the heat pump she bought last year. Answer -- you had zero tax to begin with. Diane

Dear Client, Thank you for asking me for the 5th year in a row why you have to file after drawing SS. Thank you also for not bringing your SSA-1099 this year. Nice try.

Six Truths in Life 1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility. 2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it. 3. And discover #1 is a lie. 4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot. 5. You soon will forward this to another idiot. 6. There is still a stupid smile on your face. I sincerely apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company.

Rita -- if you are EVER sick of taxes, you have enough material for a stand-up comedy show!

Dear Client, Thank you for calling on Jan 31 to tell me you were coming Feb 1, then showing up Mar 1. Thanks for saying, "Oh, I understand!" when I told you I am two weeks behind. Thanks for calling anyway on Mar 4 to see if I'm done. You are hands down my favorite client now.

One thing I tend to think is that we CPAs tend to know more accounting, which is essential for doing complex business returns. I never wanted to do financial statements, but that training has been quite useful in translating my UK client's foreign financial statements into GAAP for the Form 5471. An accounting background is not a bad thing when doing biz tax returns. That said, all I wanted to do was tax, but had never heard of an EA designation when I was getting my degree. I do think my MSBA (taxation) degree does say something about the amount of tax I know, and the depth of that knowledge. If I had just done the EA, I wouldn't have had to do two years + in the salt mine of a CPA firm, but then again, I wouldn't have the depth of knowledge I have regarding all types of returns, plus the financials backing them.

Now I know Mike is kidding, just pulling chains, so please do not start flaming him. Actually, we all know that the CPA designation has relativity little tax requirements, and lots and lots of auditing requirements, as it should. A CPA's primary purpose is to be the eyes and ears of the the Public who owns stock in businesses that they are not personally involved with. Tax work is what SOME CPAs specialize in, but for many CPAs it's a small part of their business, which is primarily auditing companies. EAs on the other hand, specialize in tax work. Thus many of them are much more knowledgeable about TAXES than some CPAs. But no one can generalize about either group.

Jack, there is nothing you can say to a client that dumb, that will satisfy them. So keep it short and sweet. "You had less withheld this year." Or "You made more, but your withholding is less." Or, "They changed the withholding tables to give you more up front." Or my favorite, "The IRS is playing games with your head."

It can be done, but it requires the aid of a short piece of string and a fish hook. (plus a visit to the Emergency Room)

I an idiot too but I sure enjoy the great company of all of you. Thanks for the laugh.

I'm an idiot twice. I've seen this before and still fell for it. Sheesh. Leave me alone.

Hey - I didn't start my rant to get into a CPA vs. EA debate. Go back and read my original post that started this thread! I have fixed tax returns that were done wrong by both CPAs and EAs. Just fixed one recently that was done by a CPA that apparently didn't seem to know the current dependency rules (took 20yo non-college student child with > 10k wages as dependent on parent's return). So what! A title is a great accomplishment and certainly something to be proud of, but it does not make anyone a lifetime expert. Nor does mere years of experience. Staying current and educated keeps all of us relevant and a source of value to our clients.

I'm not telling what I did or didn't do but I did laugh - a lot :spaz:

I spit on myself a little.

>>I'm an idiot and I needed company<< Welcome home, OldJack. What I love about this place is that I always learn something new. For example, I just learned that apparently some people keep their eyes open when they stick their tongue out.

If ALL of you think you know everything, why are you asking questions on a tax forum? A test score is only one factor in knowledge and does not show the persons experience or skill. After my CPA test many years ago, I learn something new everyday and I have been learning for more than 40 years. I still don't know all I would like to know, but that is what tax publications are for. You guys get over it!