Leaderboard

Dear Client, I am sorry that you took a $50,000 early distribution from your retirement account and had just 10% taxes withheld to cover the penalty and that you did not consider (or your financial adviser did not explain the tax consequences) the Federal and State taxes on the distribution in addition to the penalty. I feel terrible that you now have a combined tax due that exceeds $10,000 and you don't have the money. Perhaps if you consulted with us prior to taking the distribution, we could have offered you advice to help, strategies, etc. Please stop yelling at me....

Dear Client, No, finding out today that you're leaving on vacation will not make me complete your returns this afternoon. It's already 5 p.m. Considering you booked your flights and hotel ages ago, why didn't you mention this when you dropped off your materials?! And, you definitely will NOT have your refund by tonight.

Dear client, I warned you when you came to me with your foreclosure through Bank of America that they were notorious for getting issues wrong. Since you cash-out refi'd, there should be a 1099-C in addition to the 1099-A they issued, which appears to have an incorrect FMV on it, especially since I looked online and it showed the property was sold for far less than the FMV they reported. No, I do not know of any way to force BofA to give you correct info or not drop your calls. Please do not rant on the phone to me regarding BofA. Outside of calling the state attorney general's office, I can't help you get the form, but I really do need to know if one was issued. Yes, I agree being told one was mailed to you on 2/28, and later being told one was not issued, and having other BofA employees confuse the form with a 1098 is frustrating. But don't rant to me. I already have an ulcer, and had to take an evening off due to a flare-up after your call.

Dear Client, For the nineteenth time, I do NOT know how to fill out the financial aid form for your sons' private school. I understand that the financial advisor who sent you to me is not in his office today. (He is probably hiding in the closet from your endless calls; he has already apologized profusely to me for sending you here.) However, that -still- doesn't make me suddenly able to help you with the financial aid forms. I truly cannot understand -why- the financial aid administrator at the school doesn't want to help you, either. It must be one of those mysteries. And not even that fact makes me suddenly able to assist you (for free!) with those forms. Have a great life. Preferably far from here.

Dear Client, Thanks for bringing in that sticker off your new windows that has the geographical area shaded that qualifies for the tax credit that you will not be receiving. Thanks for not noticing that our state is as white as the driven snow on there. Clear as a bell. Like an albino, actually. Enjoy your windows.

Dear Client,(s) Since you all live within a couple miles from me, when I ask for your phone number, please do not start with the area code. I KNOW what your frikkin area code is. I could open up the window and yell at you, so yes, I know what area code you are from!!!!

I gave up sleep for Lent. Or, maybe, that was for tax season!

>>it is a recourse loan because the home was not the client's primary residence<< No, it is a NON-recourse loan because that's what the client told you after seeking legal counsel on the matter. If you think that it "appears to be incorrect, inconsistent with an important fact or another factual assumption, or incomplete" [in the words of Circular 230], you should ask to see the loan documents. If the client says the attorney does not have a copy, then he's stuck with what the 1099 reports.

I love you, too. And, I was not kidding. People that rush me to do their return get called early Saturday morning. I am hoping some others have some "Dear Client" letters to share; this was great fun when we did this once before. I really need some jocularity over here, cause I'm pretty sure that the next person who walks in here and says, "Bet you are getting busy, huh?" will be leaving on a stretcher.

i think you are all mixing apples and oranges. when i took the cpa exam there was some on tax theory but no real tax knowledge questions. And even so, tax laws change every year, so what you knew when you took a test, ans test, is not relevant to today. CPA's are licensed to prepare financial statements. Anyone can be a tax preparer, even a barber or shoe shine guy [at least till recently] and an EA that only does tax probably has more experience than a cpa who spends only part of his time doing taxes. i am glad i am a cpa but that doesn't really mean anything except that i crammed for a test almost 30 years ago and passed. Experience since then makes you good or bad as a preparer. My senior staff guy is not a cpa or an EA and he is paid almost double my three staff cpa's and he deserves it. Continuing education argument is crap since if someone wants to learn and keep updated they will and someone who is forced to take cpe can just buy the credits from some of the online cpe providers. Cal tax institute has 24 credit courses for around $100 and they are so simple my secretary can answer the questions or find the answers in a second from their materials. We can be forced to take and pay for classes but we can't be forced to learn or to even use what we do learn. Having a CPA after my name does open more doors due to public perception but when i have an issue i don't care about the title of whomever is helping me, just if i trust their knowledge and judgement. btw - i may be wrong but i don't think jainen has a cpa or an ea, anyone want to debate tax knowledge with him? I don't

Hey - I didn't start my rant to get into a CPA vs. EA debate. Go back and read my original post that started this thread! I have fixed tax returns that were done wrong by both CPAs and EAs. Just fixed one recently that was done by a CPA that apparently didn't seem to know the current dependency rules (took 20yo non-college student child with > 10k wages as dependent on parent's return). So what! A title is a great accomplishment and certainly something to be proud of, but it does not make anyone a lifetime expert. Nor does mere years of experience. Staying current and educated keeps all of us relevant and a source of value to our clients.