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OK. Here it is...

There was a young lady from Bright Whose speed was far greater than light, She left one day, in a relative way, And returned the previous night. http://www.phy.olemiss.edu/HEP/QuarkNet/time.html All I know (better make that heard of) about the subject is E=MC2, but Catherine can probably explain it.

E=MC^2

(Tried to load a Far Side cartoon, but couldn't get it to work)

I would ask the client a simple question,... and wait.... Long pause... and deep thought would follow..... Quite the young actress...Yeah..?

This time travel discussion reminds me of a story by Lewis Grizzard (southern humorist for any of y'all who didn't know him). Atlanta Georgia is on Eastern Standard Time, while Birmingham Alabama is on Central Standard Time. It takes less than an hour to fly between the two cities. A local in Atlanta went to the airport to inquire about traveling to Birmingham on his first ever airplane flight. The ticket agent said he would depart Atlanta at 11:02 am and arrive in Birmingham at 10:54 am. As the customer stood there contemplating what he had just heard, the agent asked "Do you want to buy a ticket?" The customer replied "Nope, don't think I do. But where does it leave from? I'd sure like to see that sucker take off!"

What E = MC^2 means, @BLACK BART is that energy and mass are equivalent, subject to a large correction (the speed of light, times itself). So how much energy resides in a tiny bit of matter? Astounding amounts (hence the amazing destructive abilities of nuclear bombs). How much matter could one form out of energy? Teeny tiny little insignificant amounts (it does go both ways, after all, and explains the electric bills of particle accelerators). The limerick, however, addresses a fact learned from Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity, which tells us that time is a PHYSICAL property. It moves more slowly with increased gravitation and with increased speed. Two cesium clocks, at different altitudes, run slightly differently (not so as we'd notice; the difference is less than a second per million years). Which one is right - BOTH are! Because time itself is different at different gravities - and higher up there is less gravity. Likewise, time slows down with increasing speed (you have to get to more than 40% of the speed of light to notice). Your link goes to the Time Dilation equation where you can calculate the effect for yourself. So if twin brothers split up, and one goes on a space journey to Alpha Centauri and comes back in - let's say fifteen years - he is a couple of years YOUNGER than his twin upon arrival home, because time slowed down for him. The speed of light is a theoretical limit (I am not going to go there, don't worry) but the limerick implies that if the barrier is broken, the girl in question can come home before she left. Great trick, as she can remind herself to bring whatever it was she forgot... no, wait, that gets us into time paradoxes. Let's not go there, either, at least right now. Relativity, Special Relativity, and Quantum Physics get weird and surreal *very* quickly - and anyone who is lacksadaisical about the implications of these principles really does not understand them at all. In fact, they are SO bizarre and ridiculous that the *only* thing they have going for them is that they are undeniably factual.

The problem with amended returns going through is that even though a person looks at the return, they do not verify information on the return but rather assume for the moment that you are telling the truth. So if in filling out the Foreign Income exclusion they indicate that they were out of the country for 330 days during the year, the return will be processed as though they qualify. However, if they are "audited ," even by computer, and it turns out they never had a passport, and never left the country, they will have to repay those refunds, plus interest, and most likely penalties for unsubstantiated tax positions. I wouldn't touch this with a ten foot pole.

Federal Court Prohibits Nevada Tax Preparer from Preparing Returns Containing Foreign Earned Income Exclusion A federal court has barred a North Las Vegas, Nevada, woman and her business from preparing federal tax returns that contain or involve foreign earned income and from promoting the exclusion of foreign earned income to others, the Justice Department announced today. The civil injunction order, to which Sheila Bunting consented, was entered by U.S. District Judge James C. Mahan of the District of Nevada. The injunction also bars Bunting’s business, 5 Star Tax LLC, from continuing to prepare tax returns that contain or involve foreign earned income, and from promoting the exclusion of foreign earned income to others. According to the complaint, Bunting inappropriately attempted to exclude foreign earned income from the calculation of her customers’ federal tax liabilities, which understated her customers’ correct tax liabilities or inflated improper refunds. Typically, U.S. citizens may exempt some foreign earned income from the calculation of gross income if they are present in a foreign country for at least 330 full days out of 12 consecutive months. This period can be waived when the Secretary of the Treasury determines, after consultation with the Secretary of State, that individuals were required to leave a foreign country due to war, civil unrest or other conditions that preclude the normal conduct of business, among other things. In implementing this waiver provision, each year the Secretary of the Treasury publishes a list of countries that have been determined eligible for waiver requests. According to the suit, Bunting disregarded the published list of waiver-eligible countries in filing the exclusion of foreign earned income on behalf of her customers. The injunction requires Bunting to provide a list of customers that identifies by name, social security number, address, e-mail address, telephone number and tax periods, all persons for whom she has prepared federal tax returns or claims for refund since Jan. 1, 2012, that reference foreign earned income

Their might be some arcane provision for working at a foreign embassy, as those are considered to be "foreign soil" once on the grounds. But just putting up a sign; nope. That's going to show up on one of the "Dirty Dozen" lists soon.

When I don' t recognize the number, I put it on speaker and don't say anything when I answer. If the call holds with no one speaking on the other end, I just leave the call connected on speaker. Eventually it hangs up, but at least I've saved one or two other people from getting an annoying call. If there's a live person on the other end who speaks up, then no matter what they say, I respond with what Katherine recommends - "who are you and why are you calling?" That keeps control in my hands. It also gives me chance to tell them to put me on the "do not call" list, although I know it's pretty much a waste of time to utter those words. I handle the "your computer's infected and we need to fix it" calls quite differently if I have some time, because they're a real danger to some people. I have some fun with those guys.

All I do are tax returns. No accounting, no payroll. I'm not ready to retire yet, but at 61 I am still thinking about how many more years I want to work. "WANT" being the operative word. This year I did clean up my client list by sending several clients away, for a better fit. We all know what that means. I don't want to work forever. I am getting less and less enamored with being locked to my computer for 4 months, having over 40 extensions, and having the tax season drag on until October 15th. I want to play. I want to go outside and play in the sun. Without any work hanging over my head. I love my clients, love my work, love the challenge. But most of all, I love the "seasonality" of the business. And that season is spreading out too much. The responsibilities and complexities of being a tax professional might be what actually has me whipped. It's almost like I have to stay sober all year long. Geez...

If other class action suits are an indication, I'd say about enough for a cup of fancy coffee... maybe $7. Twenty years from now.