The Final Countdown

[jasdlm]

105 remaining.  I'm going home.  Goal is 9 a day from here on out and done by the evening of the 13th.

 

The best laid plans . . .

[Lion EA]

9 a day!  Good grief.  I wish I could complete 1 a day!  The ones that come in now have hundreds of pages with two or three states (more if I did all the states on their K-1s).  Their 1099-Bs have thousands of trades with wash sales.  They have dozens of K-1s with several activities each.  And, then I find some documents that have to do with the trusts that grandma set up for their kids in their folder.  And, a couple of college kids with W-2s from three states each and who need the K-1s from those trusts I just found that are from MA that I have to prepare before I can prepare the kids' returns.  And, mother's estate.  And a NJ paystub with no W-2.  And, they sold their NY rental and a portion of two of their PTPs.  And, they keep calling to ask how they should change their withholding and if selling their house this year will change their taxes next year and did they give me all their donations and their former IC needs another copy of his 2013 Form 1099-MISC.  And, did they tell me they're going on vacation this weekend and won't return until 20 April?!  And, the kids go back to college this weekend and need to sign their returns right now.  And, should their LLC be an S-corp?  And, I'm tired and cranky and getting a stomach ache from all the chocolate hubby's throwing at me.

[RitaB]

My goal yesterday was eight. Did two. Go me.

[Gail in Virginia]

I could easily do 9 or 10 a day if everyone would leave me alone. I don't become more productive because you call and ask if your return is done yet.  Or want to talk about planning for next year.  Or whether to fire your investment adviser.  Couldn't some of those questions wait until after April 15?  After all, I don't do anything once tax season is over, right?  I think I am going to the mailbox.

[mcb39]

Yes, when we set those goals, we forget about all the interruptions.  I have never been so behind in my life.   Cannot believe the people still calling for appts.  Not that I could have gotten them done any sooner.

[MsTabbyKats]

I have 3 piles:

 

1-waiting for approval (all the work is done...ready to e-file)

2-waiting for information

3-returns I can actively work on

 

Piles 1 & 2 are high...pile 3 is empty

 

I hope you guys with "chaotic returns" charge well.  I'm only accepting new clients with simple returns.  I tell the others that I don't have the necessary time to devote to the return.

[Terry D EA]

Is it me or does it really seem like the more complicated returns came in later this year? I have at least three that take a considerable amount of time and my annual CRUT just came in. Anything after Monday gets an extension.

[jasdlm]

That's the problem with these last few weeks.  Everyone who dropped off last has problematic returns.  The one I spent most of my day on yesterday bought 3 new rentals, owns a farm, has mineral interests, a trust beneficiary, and oh, by the way, could you do the trust return, two schedule C's, etc., etc.  I look at the list of everything that is left, and it's depressing.  I don't know why, but I don't have very many 'easy' clients (W2, 1098, few 1099s, etc. - only get them if someone has a son or daughter, etc.), but the ones that are left are extra stinky.  When I complete one, it takes me a few minutes to decide who I want to deal with next.

 

Someone is coming in today to try to convince me that under the new rules the entire new HVAC system the client installed in a property can be expensed.  ***Sigh***

 

Still, I have to do 9 a day . . . I'd better quit whining.

 

No matter what, we have to color eggs Saturday night, the bunny has to hop, and Church.

[Catherine]

I just set up an auto-respond to my email - copy below - and I am considering adding Judy's "piecemeal means bottom of the pile" idea, we'll see how badly people tick me off today.

 

Dear Client:

 

Please be assured that you have *not* been forgotten, and your tax returns are in progress. However, if we took the time to respond to each email from clients "just checking in" we would be unable to finish anyone's returns.  

 

In order to expedite your own returns, if you receive an email from us with an information request, please read it carefully and respond only once with all the requested information.  Piecemeal and/or incomplete responses slow down your returns considerably.

[RitaB]

I just set up an auto-respond to my email - copy below - and I am considering adding Judy's "piecemeal meals bottom of the pile" idea, we'll see how badly people tick me off today.

 

Dear Client:

 

Please be assured that you have *not* been forgotten, and your tax returns are in progress. However, if we took the time to respond to each email from clients "just checking in" we would be unable to finish anyone's returns.  

 

In order to expedite your own returns, if you receive an email from us with an information request, please read it carefully and respond only oncewith all the requested information.  Piecemeal and/or incomplete responses slow down your returns considerably.

Thanks, I stole that, but I'm not as sophisticated as you, so I'm adding:

P. S. This means stop checking in. Bitch.

[Lion EA]

Can I push Like multiple times!  I'm stealing that, Catherine.

 

I did complete one that's hundreds of pages thick before I slept for a few hours, but I'd started it last weekend before my kids showed up from PA.  Attempting a very organized one today, but they paper file and go over every single number after I FedEx it to them in FL.  So, I will have to explain every number and probably make revisions.  I need more than three per day, but am still about one every three days.  Just had a bowl of soup while reading message boards and now back to work.

Edited April 2, 2015 by Lion EA

[jasdlm]

I just fired a PITA client who still owed me for last year and only paid me for the previous 2 years because my staff wouldn't take the drop off of his 2013 information until he did.  I feel great.  He called and wanted his return done before the 15th even though he hasn't dropped off yet.  I told him to go to H&R Block, and he did.

 

Yay!

[SFA]

Catherine, I think you might be talkin to the hand. Just sayin.

[Lion EA]

I should've taken the time to set up the auto-respond.  I've had eight emails asking about my progress on their returns and two very long telephone calls wanting to update me on their info for extension and ES purposes.  Argghhh!  I'm in pricey, snooty Fairfield County, but I may use Rita's version.

[RitaB]

I have two done for days, and I've put off calling them because they both think they're my only client, and they require so much hand-holding.

OK, I call one. Voice mail not set up. Really?????

I call the other. Lots of hem-hawing. “What do I owe? Oh, well, finally, the farm loss helped me. Oh, and the financial advisor’s fee of $20,000 helped me, and how late will you be there today? And will you be there tomorrow? OK, well, I may come tomorrow rather than today because I’m still cutting tree limbs. It will be interesting to see what tax bracket I’m in going forward...”

This is the guy donating underwear. And taking pictures of same. Let’s not downplay the significance of the tax savings THERE...

Edited April 2, 2015 by RitaB

[rfassett]

I had a client come in today to pick up his payroll.  He has a habit of migrating to my desk anytime he comes in and takes up some time.  He was heading toward my desk and says, "Ron, ya got a minute?"  I chuckled and said "hardly".  He proceeded to my desk, asked his question in just a few words, I answered in fewer, and he was gone - in under a minute.  I love my clients that can sense my mood.

 

Another client came in today to drop off her monthly check and says, "You look calm enough.  I need to call you but I will wait until after the 15th".  I said "after the 20th because we will not be in until then".  She said "it's a date."  Total distraction - 20 seconds.

 

A third client came in today to get some W-4's for her new employees.  This does not even hit my radar because my staff handles all of that.  But then she says, "Ask Ron if we get penalized for paying our estimated payments late.  Me and my husband are arguing about this and we need to know who is right."  And the implication was "and I want a detailed explanation now".  This one got my blood pressure up. My staff got her out the door before I could get my gun out of desk.

 

73 more that are promised.  I am beginning to think I can pick up a few off the extension list on the 12th.  We'll see.

[RitaB]

I need some staff and a gun.

[rfassett]

I need some staff and a gun.

 

True that homie!

 

They are both worth their weight in gold. 

[kcjenkins]

Never had to use it, but it worked for me, just knowing it was there, and, with a few clients, MENTALLY pulling it out and shooting them on the spot.  Wonder if they ever guessed why I went from irritated to smiling? 

[jasdlm]

I'm going to let my 9 year old bring in his bow and arrow.

 

"Ooops, sorry . . . he wasn't aiming at you . . . he's only 9".

 

Won't mention that he's been shooting for 3 years and is a pretty good mark.

[joanmcq]

Client is late for appointment that THEY requested back at the beginning of March. I text asking if they are on their way. Answer, no we are in Mexico. Didn't hear back from you.

Huh, I emailed them right back confirming the date.

So I text back, we'll file an extension.

get an email back 6 hours later, "I screwed up, we didn't hear back from you so we went to someone in Chico"

I emailed them twice, on March 5 & on March 27. I guess that's why they wanted a copy of their 2013 return on the 27th. Oh well, PITA return. But a decent bill.

[NECPA in NEBRASKA]

I got a call at 3:55 from my 4 PM appointment, that I squeezed in even though I told her that I didn't want to see her because she was going on extension. She was running late and didn't have everything ready to see me today, could she come next week? I said absolutely not, just fax me what you think I need tomorrow and I'll tell you what to write the check for to go with your extension. WTH is wrong with people? They have one stinking return to pull together and then wonder why we don't jump for them. I try to be nice, but it is getting so much more difficult.  

[rfassett]

Client is late for appointment that THEY requested back at the beginning of March. I text asking if they Re on their way. Answer, no we are in Mexico. Didn't hear back from you.

Huh, I emailed them right back confirming the date.

So I text back, we'll file an extension.

get an email back 6 hours later, "I screwed up, we didn't hear back from you so we went to someone in Chico"

I emailed them twice, on March 5 & on March 27. I guess that's why they wanted a copy of their 2013 return on the 27th. Oh well, PITA return. But a decent bill.

 

I got a call at 3:55 from my 4 PM appointment, that I squeezed in even though I told her that I didn't want to see her because she was going on extension. She was running late and didn't have everything ready to see me today, could she come next week? I said absolutely not, just fax me what you think I need tomorrow and I'll tell you what to write the check for to go with your extension. WTH is wrong with people? They have one stinking return to pull together and then wonder why we don't jump for them. I try to be nice, but it is getting so much more difficult.  

 

Maybe Jas will contract out the 9-year old.  Or maybe you two could borrow my gun.  Or, and true story, client, just told me this week, he knows people that can "take care of things" - or for the right price, he is that person.  I can send you his name.  I love my clients.

 

I have often thought of starting a new venture called 1-800-break-a-knee.  I am becoming more and more convinced it would fly.

Edited April 3, 2015 by rfassett

[Richcpaman]

I have two done for days, and I've put off calling them because they both think they're my only client, and they require so much hand-holding.

OK, I call one. Voice mail not set up. Really?????

I call the other. Lots of hem-hawing. “What do I owe? Oh, well, finally, the farm loss helped me. Oh, and the financial advisor’s fee of $20,000 helped me, and how late will you be there today? And will you be there tomorrow? OK, well, I may come tomorrow rather than today because I’m still cutting tree limbs. It will be interesting to see what tax bracket I’m in going forward...”

This is the guy donating underwear. And taking pictures of same. Let’s not downplay the significance of the tax savings THERE...

I took my two staffers to lunch last Saturday.  We called the order in, so it was ready when we walked in.  (Don't have much time, we are working right...)

 

We sit down to eat, and are enjoying ours selves, and the PITA Client comes in to pick up a pizza.

 

Now, this guy has been a client for 5 years, and this past year he started grumbling about the bill.  I did the corp work, and YE Payroll.  Usually did the 1040, but the quote of $400 seems "too high" this year.

 

So, said PITA client ambles over and asks: "Can I ask you a few questions about...."  Rich:  "Sure!, call my office for an appointment!"  PITA Client:  Blank stare...  "But...?"  Rich: Yep, call the office for an appointment and we can discuss whatever you need...."

 

And arrow would not be good enough...

 

Rich

[kcjenkins]

I took my two staffers to lunch last Saturday.  We called the order in, so it was ready when we walked in.  (Don't have much time, we are working right...)

 

We sit down to eat, and are enjoying ours selves, and the PITA Client comes in to pick up a pizza.

 

Now, this guy has been a client for 5 years, and this past year he started grumbling about the bill.  I did the corp work, and YE Payroll.  Usually did the 1040, but the quote of $400 seems "too high" this year.

 

So, said PITA client ambles over and asks: "Can I ask you a few questions about...."  Rich:  "Sure!, call my office for an appointment!"  PITA Client:  Blank stare...  "But...?"  Rich: Yep, call the office for an appointment and we can discuss whatever you need...."

 

And arrow would not be good enough...

 

Rich

This guy deserves a grenade, not an arrow!