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I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week.Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal .. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?” I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.” Never going back to that doctor again……….. never.

Here is my username, and my picture. I gave the writer MY experience this year. I'm sick of whiners, conspiracy theorists and people that can't use a little bit of common sense and self reliance. There are quite a few people that aren't having crashes, missing assets, and damn, even my printing isn't so slow now. Although I did mention sloe printing as being an issue. So quit yer bitching and come back to the real world, thank you.

I asked my doctor if he'd give me a note for my wife certifying that my head wasn't up there, but he politely refused.

my cousin sent me this one... Dave Barry can make anything funny! Fwd Message: Colonoscopy Journal For those that have and those that will, this is a good one... This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. If you ever had a colonoscopy or are planning on one, you can't miss this one!!! ABOUT THE WRITER Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald. Colonoscopy Journal: > I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!' I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies. I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground. MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough. At the clinic, I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked. Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering Around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house. When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that IT was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ. --------------------------------------------------- Colonoscopies are no joke! Get one.

All that glitters is not gold, but still valuable IMO.

You close the return, Mark the return (left side check box). Click on returns(tab top left). Look down the drop down menu to find Update forms, click on that and follow directions.. It will update all forms in that individual return, fixing any corrupted forms you may have. Might help.

Oh, gee, I have RSUs coming up, too. Every client has a new twist: foreclosure, TN, 1099-Q, biz expenses for a biz closed 10 years ago, an estate, a new trust, excess contributions to an HSA, RI withheld when his ship was docked in Newport Oregon, finding W-2s for the kids in with the parents stuff and the kids worked in more states with college and home and spending the summer with a friend, etc.

After it was over I ask the doctor what condition it was in, he said it was in good shape for a "well used" colon.

My cousin sent me Dave Barry's article when I was procrastinating. His son is a colon cancer survivor, but only due to an hours long surgery that removed parts of three major organs. So, I finally made an appointment. Dave Barry tells the truth! Honestly. It took me 24 hours to down the gallons of liquid that tasted like wet salt. I love salty foods, but drinks should not be salty, with the exception of margaritas. Next time I will add tequila. My doctor's follow-up letter included his thank you for my thorough preparation! He did have to snip out a couple of polyps, not unusual for my age. But, the best part is that I don't have to return for five years. Get a colonoscopy. It's a medical procedure that can actually prevent cancer.

Everybody should stay focused on the main issues and not allow these conversations to degenerate into personal attacks in either direction. Each person's experience is what it is, and there's no purpose served in anyone questioning another's experience. This is a community of equals, not hostage to a single vendor, and with the overriding purpose of exchanging tax-related information. At the end of the day, the problems ATX is having this year are a side issue. At this point everyone has made their decision for the current year and will have to live with. No minds are likely to change for the remaining 3 weeks. Let's concentrate on what's important for this community in the long run.

Hey Florida Tax Man, feeling a little testie? It's ok to vent here (to a degree), it's healthy and fun to disagree, but I don't think it's ok to attack another member in this way. Cool it.

I had a client who complained every year that I had raised my price, but I hadn't. I quoted the same price everybody else with a very basic return was given. Well, last year (2011 ty) I did raise the price by $10 and he complained. Since he had always paid after he signed for the e-file, and I knew where he lived , he signed and I filed...and guess what...he died before he had a chance to pick up the return and pay me. Guess he showed me who was going to pay the new rate...but amazingly, his daughter, who I had never met, called me, she was going through his papers, found the return, came and picked it up (yes, she had a poa) and gave me a tip. Guess we both won! AnnieR

And those 'fun returns' tend to come in late, at best, and late and incomplete at worst, don't they?

>>some penalties are not related to percentage of tax due<< This one is. According to Instructions for Form 709, penalties are assessed under Section 6651. That's the same as Form 1040, so it's 5% per month (25% max) of tax due, in addition to late payment penalties and interest if any. Unfortunately there is a $135 minimum after 60 days, unless due to reasonable cause and not willful neglect.

And the ATX is Fixed! Is Joel's addition; I never said that. So I'm also being pilloried for an insinuation I didn't add. Someone over there also pulled out comments I made somewhere and reported them along with my screen name on the other board. I didn't appreciate that. Maybe I've been spending too much time on Tax Almanac where "search the yellow box" is an accepted answer to any question that been reiterated over and over. If that was the case on the ATX board, it wouldn't be so hard to search for an answer there amidst the many posts of "ATX is soooo slow" and "my assets have disappeared." Kudos to NYTaxLady for trying to make the fixes & workarounds easier to find.

Now THAT'S an interesting motivator. If they could develop a colonoscope which could filter out the red hue, but then tell everyone to use red gatorade, red Kool-Aid, or cranberry juice for the bowel prep. I'll bet once that evening is over, they'd be running to the doctor's office to get the procedure done.

My sister is having one soon and they are just having her take a bunch of dulcolax and gatorade. I guess they have discovered that this will do the job as well as the other stuff. I guess we will find out if it works for her.

Grab-em with both hands and go get the test done. Be a man and maybe save your life. Being afraid of a simple test that may save your life is for children. Had mine 3 weeks ago. Ditto the experiences listed by everyone above. Slept right through it. No need for a repeat until 2022!!

There could be pictures, and he may have actually told her something or the other during the after-procedure conversation. But I wouldn't really know because I pretty much dozed through that conversation. The best part is going home after the procedure is over. What man wouldn't enjoy napping on the sofa, watching TV, eating everything in sight, and passing gas all afternoon? Plus your wife being pleased about all of it...

Did you say there were pictures??? Oh my God!!! I hope they don't get posted on the internet!

Just like Farrah Fawcett Majors! Seriously, I procrastinated for over a decade, so I know the feeling. But, with those soft tissues, you may not have any signs until three major organs are cancer-riddled. A new internist after my older doctor retired finally talked some sense into me. The procedure is nothing as you're asleep. Drinking a gallon of salty liquid is nasty, but no worse than some things we do for health or love or money! It's not as bad as the flu or food poisoning, really, and doesn't last as long, either. My cousin's kid laughs that he doesn't have to use the porta-potties on construction sites anymore. But, he'd give anything to not be wearing the bag and have severe diet restrictions and be taking lots of medications and taking time away from his family and work to go to a major medical center for tests every three months, not to mention the months out of work recuperating from his surgery. Have the colonoscopy. Do the prep on Sunday, have the procedure on Monday, be back at work after a great lunch out or at least by Tuesday. The doctor told my husband to take me out for a great dinner with wine! We stopped at Five Guys for lunch on the way home, but he wasn't off the hook and had to take me out to a nice dinner that night also.

But always look for the silver lining. And diamonds in the rough.

I called tech support. Erin was most helpful. Managed to fix by using a new feature that allows all the forms within a return to be updated. It worked. Thank you Erin.

If it was POM, then it paid for the client's additional tax, penalties, and interest, up to a maximum amount, maybe $5,000. So for a combined federal and state tax rate of 37%, for example, that's another $1,850 in 2012 taxes. But, I too am a former Blockhead from a Premium office where POM was included in the fees for everyone and had to explain it at the time of tax preparation and explain it again whenever anyone came in with a claim and then receive the irate complaints of the spouse at the time of preparing the following tax return. Still, I'd rather pay $1,850 a year later than pay $5,000 a year earlier. Not a bad trade, even if they were at a regular office and had to pay $20 or whatever to purchase POM.

Joel, you make some good points. Yes, we have had problems with the ATX program this year. BIG ONES that I know are not our fault. My entire staff is uneasy and insecure about how unstable the program still is, even at 12.12. We have wasted so much time ($$$) I can't even think about it. Because of the downtime and delays, we have a boatload of returns still in our office, that have been here too long. I am exhausted. Reading these forums has given us some comfort to know that we are not alone in dealing with all these problems. To some extent, misery does love company. Somehow we are going to make it to April 15 with some dignity, but it won't be easy. None of this is anybody's fault except for ATX. Period.

And btw, I and few others in different threads posted the same article. I just checked the thread I started and found the comments interesting. So, you might want to read this thread at the regular ATX site: https://community.atxinc.com/forums/1/150199/ShowThread.aspx As the latest poster indicated: Mrjond, "Wow not a single approved comment to this article? Interesting" LitTaxAdmin's comment in that same thread: "CCH has a BBB rating of F as well. See: http://www.bbb.org/atlanta/business-reviews/computers-hardware-software-and-services/cch-small-firm-services-in-kennesaw-ga-27370070 " Blevins Comments: "Wow, so most of the "problems" have been with getting used to the new platform? REALLY? As if this many of us are major idiots who never deal with other software, or new software, and this is all just a matter of "getting used to" it? And outdated computers? Give me a break. Yes, I'd like to know how much they spend in advertising in The Progressive Accountant. I guess most of us are just regressive accountants. Insulting. I want a fast program. If this is how ATX 2013 will definitely be, I definitely won't be back next year. I've held out hope that they'd change the platform/database for next year, after this year's fiasco, but this doesn't give me much confidence. Can't wait until this season is over. Although, from the sound of this, I'm just an old tired outdated accountant who might as well hang it all up. Ha." Empahasis Added Don't forget the comments in this thread about this article. Apparently Florida Tax Man and I are not the only one that thinks Joan offended us.

Not trying to defend Florida Tax Man and when I posted my post, I really did not know Joan McHugh was our Joan and did not do so to bash the the author. Since, I have not used ATX since vers 12.08 and then just barely I do not really know how well 12.12 works. From posts here and on the regular ATX community. clearly others don't think ATX 2012.12 is working much better than previous versions. They also don't believe that there are any ENHANCEMENTS in the ATX 2012 (I don't need to reiterate what ATX removed rather than added to the new platform). Now as for bashing, honestly, Joan's comments in that article were bashing! She essentially called all the users having problems with ATX STUPID IDIOTS! She basically said that the ATX members having problems, were too stupid to understand how to move to a new platform. I feel that this comment includes those that changed software (a new platform I might add), and have gotten up to speed quickly, becoming productive for the first time this season. She further bashed the other ATX members and users, by saying that they had antiquated systems, not understanding it was time to upgrade . You find that appropriate? As for antiquated systems being the problem, she totally missed the boat on that one anyway. I have a few friends who were and are still using ATX. One friend of mine is having the best experience with ATX using a stand-alone PC that is over 10 years old, running WinXP, in I believe a 32 bit environment (possibly a 16 bit). He is having virtually none of the problems the other members are having, except that the program is slightly slower than previous years. This is because ATX was programed for a 16/32 bit O/S, not the more modern Win7 or Win8. One of my other friends is using a State of the Art 64 bit PC with 32K of Ram and with an overclocked Intel I7 3960 and has had nothing but problems. If she had read many of the posts at the regular ATX site she would see, that ATX 2012 does run better on older systems. So no offense, Joan doesn't have a clue what she is talking about. If you really want to understand some of the problems, you should read LITaxAdmin's and Harless's posts over at the regular board. Clearly these two have systems experience and understand the problems. I for one, now that I know it is our Joan, resent the inference, in a PUBLIC ARTICLE I might add, that all of us that have had problems with ATX are STUPID IDIOTS that don't understand how to move to a new platform and use the software. If anyone should apologize, it is Joan!

Did you calculate the additional tax generated by the 1099-Misc, just so the client knows how little it cost them to report the income? It would be nice if the compensation included the additional tax liability, but that isn't going to happen. So I'd be sure the client has a good perspective on how small the additional tax is in comparison the the P&I.

i wear my name on my shirt so i can deduct all my living expenses, neat trick

OY! THANK YOU!!!! :spaz: :spaz:

Obviously, all you whining ATX users have outdated computers while Kimmie, I mean "Joan I don't moan", has the latest and greatest in hardyware. And if you depreciation no worky or disappeary, then you forgot to check the box. THE BOX ATX came in !!!!

I like the zoom slider in the lower right corner. I use it to double-check routing & account numbers.

KC, Please give jasdlm a warning point for that post!!!!! Seriously, that is the best thing you can come up with to like about the software? Wow, we are easily pleased this year. Tom Hollister, CA