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I got a call from CCH at 10am this morning. Do you know what day this is? Yes. and I am sorry, but.... Call me later. Hung up.

No, I cannot call you to tell you what you owe IRS and me. You will live until you get here today or tomorrow. But maybe not long after that.

Client just called. His return has been done and awaiting pickup for several weeks. "I am on my way. Just wanted to let you know that I just got a flat tire on the way there. While I was changing the tire, I bent over and my shorts ripped. So now I have to stop at Walmart before I come to see you." How do we look some of these people in the eye?

I looked at Eric's link, and loved this one. I bet at least half of us have had this conversation with a client. April 11, 2015 I’m a photographer and my client was several hours late and I could not get a hold of her so I assumed she was a no-show and moved on to my next appointment. Awhile later, I finally got a text from the client. Client: OMW Me: I’m sorry but you were several hours late without warning and I had other clients booked today. Client: Well you didn’t tell me I had to be on time.

New greeting: "Hi, this is Rita. Come get your shit."

No, your date of birth is not on the return from your previous preparer, just tell me your date of birth, it's not that hard, and now we know why you didn't get along with the aforementioned previous preparer. Yes, yes we do. OMG.

No! You can NOT have your returns by 4 p.m. No! You can NOT run up here right now to sign your returns. No!

This tax season has been pretty grueling. I am tired and anxious to have some privacy and recharge. Honestly, I wonder why I do this work? I'm seriously thinking of selling my practice while we are at the top of our game. Anyone interested? It's great. We work 70+ hours a week. Who wouldn't love that?

It really amazes me how probably the single thing that can most affect a taxpayer's future livelihood, ESPECIALLY WHEN SELF-EMPLOYED, his tax return, is thought of in such terms as being so insignificant that finding a cheap preparation fee is the best choice, is unbelievable. Which brings up another strategy that some people use: winning through intimidation...there's even a book written on the subject. The more I charge, the more respect I receive. There are some, however, that will not be happy unless they beat someone out of charging what their services are worth. (That's where "winning through intimidation" comes into play.) I agree with others that your client received a good deal....too good of a deal as he/she still bitched! (Sorry, for my French, but I'm at the end of my rope!) You don't need cheapskates for clients. Let them go somewhere else and beat someone else up. You don't have time for their games. Note: My top fee based clients send the most referrals along with glowing recommendations that I wonder who the hell in my firm of one are they talking about!

We have had six returns dropped off today so far. I have e-filed the last one for this season. And we should be able to put a sign on the door and be gone by 10:00 tomorrow morning. Frankly, at this point, I am wondering why we are coming in at all.

JUST COULD NOT RESIST.....

Good for you! If we would ALL start doing this, maybe they would get the message. And for the record, it is not just CCH. Thomson does it as well. And not just Thomson and CCH and not just the phone. I had a young lady walk in the front door last week distributing political pamphlets. I ran her out and heard her say something about her dad used to be in the tax business and so she understood. Look at the sign out front first next time sweet heart. Guess who isn't getting my vote! And that was my "be nice day" last week.

Rita is on a ROLL.

Web developers/designers have a site called http://clientsfromhell.net/   I think you guys have enough content to start your own site with a similar format.

Yeah at some point I would like to experience that "making so much money" thing. I guess on the other hand I don't have to worry about all of those pesky phase-outs.

Meant to post this earlier and got distracted. Phone call this morning; guy says he tried to e-file last night with Ttx and rejection for used ssn. Called Intuit for help, they gave him MY number and said I could help. Then it turns out he thought I was the IRS!?!?! Gave him the identity theft number, name/number of the affidavit form (all posted HERE in another thread, thank you ALL very much), had a nice chat about the other steps he needs to take like calling the cops, getting a 5-digit IRS PIN next year, etc. He was very grateful. Sent me an email later offering to give me a great review on facebook or linked in. But seriously wtf Charlie? Intuit gives out MY number and says I'm the IRS?

Eric, it's one of the valuable benefits of this board, especially the second week in April, that we get to blow off a little frustration privately to fellow sufferers who will understand.

And in case you need a break from the extensions, try these jokes: http://higherperspectives.com/jokes-for-intellectuals/

I once threatened to give a client not only all his "garbage" back, but to add my office kitchen's garbage to it! Thankfully, I only voiced that threat to my husband, who gave me a hug and promised to deal with the *@#* himself. He did, and I got great pleasure listening [from hiding] to him tell the creep very firmly that he was not EVER welcome in our office again. Don had a very good vocabulary, so I'm sure from the quite way he left that the client did not understand half the words Don called him!

And then there was this one yesterday. Client owns an over-the-road trucking business. Had two drivers last year (his two sons). Made decent money last year, no estimates and now owes tax. Expecting to generate similar revenue, he thought he would be able to pay the tax. Since the return was done several weeks ago, one son got a DUI so he can not drive for a year; other son got a better job and left; taxpayer decides he will drive and then hurts his back; so now they are going to sell the horse to pay the taxes and the horse died before it could be sold. Not laughable, but I could not help myself.

I have gone a day over when I thought I could be done but the staff kicked in today to prepare the 100+ extensions allowing me to complete a 1065 and the two partners returns, an 1120S and the two shareholders returns and another semi-complicated 1040 today. Now I have one that I am committed to completing by tomorrow mid-morning. I know I have everything because I have three paper-size boxes full of the info. Two complicated Schedule C's and a new mobile park business. This could go deep into the night. But then I will be done. E-file some returns in the morning, finalize the extensions - and then I will close the book on Tax Season 2015. Hope you all are as close or closer!

Well, probably less interrupted than some. My staff does a great job of filtering my calls this time of year. But the day was not without interruptions. I have my share of "selling" the return interruptions. One today - "why do I owe so much state tax". Because your brokerage statement shows $15,000 of interest income. So a half hour later and an extended call to the broker, we were right back where we started with waiting for him to sign the 8879. He did. Paid me. And I was back to work on the other returns. Several occurrences like that today - but that was the most time consuming.

Oh, yeah, he knows. And the boot-up-your-ass extraction device is also a medical expense.

I've been known to turn the ringers off on the phones during peak hours.

So very true. I had several new clients, in 1982, from a preparer who died. She had a stroke several years before, but her clients loved her and these had stayed with her. She could not talk, and used an Etch-A-Sketch [NO, I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP] to communicate with the clients. Their returns were "outstanding", but none of them was ever audited. Outstanding in the sense of 'standing out' because while they all included either Sch C or/and Sch F, and EVERY SINGLE NUMBER on those forms was rounded to even hundreds. She had done them that way for over 20 years, at least, but was proud of the fact that she had never had an audit, they all told me. And, no, it was not because she under-reported expenses, either. She clearly, based on the prior returns I looked at, 'pushed the envelope'.

I wonder if that is one of the calls I sent to voice mail this morning. Maybe I'll check it tomorrow. In any case, I absolutely LOVE caller ID on our office phones. Almost everything out of our service area, all known telemarketers, and all 800 number calls are sent to VM without answering. Sure has made our office more efficient.

Make sure you download her free Excel-based attachment for providing detail on each asset. Using the same format over and over does increase speed. Yep, I too have some on extension. Not big enough for cost segs. Rentals, where the adjustment is probably in the clients' favor and where the safe-harbor-type of audit protection is worth scrubbing their depreciation schedules, because these are DIY bookkeepers.

OMG, what is wrong with people?

Well, that might have been me. But I think I probably got the idea from somebody else. And I hate that you are dealing with it, but maybe if enough people see how this is not exactly the greatest piece of legislative genius ever passed... Nah, they don't care.

They want copies of the original 1095A......Not self employed. So far, one is a single girl who broke her arm and was off work for some time in 2014. Premiums were based on 2013 income. She is a cosmetologist; so, of course, she couldn't work and had no benefits. The other one that is bringing his in is a case where they each had their own. She had ACA for first six months; then went onto Medicare. He had insurance through work for the first five months; then went onto ACA. Whoever said that the IRS wouldn't be checking these was DEAD WRONG!

Now, isn't that just the truth?

MAN, you work fast - but it sounds like you are not getting interrupted and having a zillion phone calls and people stopping in or throwing temper tantrums as they are asked if they would wait until Tuesday instead of Monday...

Gotta love it. Rita you have made this season so much more enjoyable keep it up!

See. That's what I hate about this forum. I never get the answer I want. All I ever get is the right answer. Seriously, thanks Catherine.

I think it has to be an obligation ordered by the court or it is not deductible. Tom Newark, CA

Had a non-profit director call me: I just about have it all ready. Me: Congratulations, and please don't bring it in until Thursday or Friday. I don't know what it is about non-profit directors, but I don't care how cheerful you are, or how much you love being sweet and holding hands and talking, don't call an accountant on April 13th. About anything, actually. If you are not on fire with a stick in your eye, it can wait. Love, Rita

Had one in the mailbox this morning with a note: "Rita, I know this is a little unorthodox, but I didn't have any other time to drop off..." 1) My mailbox has been out there for eleven years. 2) And USPS has been in business longer than that, even. 3) (My daughter said this): He can spell the world unorthodox and can't find a way to get this to you before today?

Had ten dropped this morning and most wanted to know why they had to go on extension (or pay double the fee to expedite). A new client came to pick up and was upset that my bill was $300 (1040, Sch A, 2 Sch C's, Sch E), when the last preparer only charged $125. I asked why they didn't go back to their old preparer and they said because they got a letter from the IRS and had to pay back taxes, interest and penalties because she "messed' up. And they could not understand why they owed this year when they always got money back before. Well, maybe it was because she "messed" up in the other years and understated your income and the $300 bill is for doing your taxes right! The15th can't come early enough this year. Rant over... feel a little better.

I really have mixed feeling about doing this, because when I have been the new accountant, it sure creates confusion when your extension is rejected. Plus you have no proof of the extension being filed. Also," What numbers do you put on those extensions?" Actually I don't file any extensions unless the client and I have communicated.

I have similar workbooks from other venders but for $20 I got this too. Thanks for the info about it. I have over 200 of these on extension, getting cost segs first., gonna be a looooonnnnnggggg summer.

He probably lied. They probably told him to contact the IRS. After repeated failed attempts, he probably gave up and decided to contact a local tax preparer for info. Cause we have time... BTW, when people call information around here, ask for H&R Block and choose to be connected, their call is sent to me! I have never been affiliated with H&R.

Each time I talk with the family the details change. They started out telling me what they hoped would happen and eventually got around to what actually transpired. Turns out they were never successful in getting a renter in the property and they ended up selling it at a loss. The niece who is been administering the estate has been out having two surgeries in the past two weeks so contact has been as spotty as the details. The 15th can't get here quickly enough. Between two kidney stones, a sinus infection and the attendant meds on top of tax work, I'm toast.

Tell him that you are sure that his ex appreciates his gift. Deductibility ends when legal obligation ends. This is established by the divorce decree.

Rita, I just LOVE you!!!! [Parenthetically, if you ARE on fire with a stick in your eye, don't call us either. Go to the hospital, after you doused yourself with a fire extinguisher.]

They catch the WEIRDEST things; ignore the folks who owe gazillions but send nasty-grams on a $50 "discrepancy" that resulted in $12 tax change in my taxpayers' favor....

Some free downloads and the best $20 you'll spend this year is Lisa Ihm's Booklet on filling out Form 3115 with examples and an Excel template to use for your attachments: http://brasstax.com/3115%20Booklet.htm It's all available for instant download on her site above.

Two things I have learned: 1. The election of 2012 granted me 15 years of job security. 2. The reason for the job security stinks to high heaven.