RitaB Posted March 10, 2012 Report Share Posted March 10, 2012 Dear Client, Thank you for asking me for the 5th year in a row why you have to file after drawing SS. Thank you also for not bringing your SSA-1099 this year. Nice try. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcjenkins Posted March 10, 2012 Report Share Posted March 10, 2012 We really do have to wonder about those type clients, don't we? I don't miss not having to deal with them any more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diane Posted March 11, 2012 Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 How about the client who wants to know why I didn't take the credit for the heat pump she bought last year. Answer -- you had zero tax to begin with. Diane 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted March 11, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 Dear Client, Thank you for calling on Jan 31 to tell me you were coming Feb 1, then showing up Mar 1. Thanks for saying, "Oh, I understand!" when I told you I am two weeks behind. Thanks for calling anyway on Mar 4 to see if I'm done. You are hands down my favorite client now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted March 11, 2012 Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 Rita -- if you are EVER sick of taxes, you have enough material for a stand-up comedy show! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcb39 Posted March 12, 2012 Report Share Posted March 12, 2012 Isn't that the truth? Rita has it covered. Why is it that this particular week of the year everyone decides to call and ask if their taxes are done. I am beginning to sound like an echo saying "There are forty ahead of you!" And.........they just keep coming. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted March 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2012 Dear Client, Thank you for calling on Jan 31 to tell me you were coming Feb 1, then showing up Mar 1. Thanks for saying, "Oh, I understand!" when I told you I am two weeks behind. Thanks for calling anyway on Mar 4 to see if I'm done. You are hands down my favorite client now. P. S. I will call you the minute your return is done. I anticipate that it will be Saturday at 6:00 am. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted March 12, 2012 Report Share Posted March 12, 2012 P. S. I will call you the minute your return is done. I anticipate that it will be Saturday at 6:00 am. Rita -- I love you. I _really_ needed that laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted March 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2012 I love you, too. And, I was not kidding. People that rush me to do their return get called early Saturday morning. I am hoping some others have some "Dear Client" letters to share; this was great fun when we did this once before. I really need some jocularity over here, cause I'm pretty sure that the next person who walks in here and says, "Bet you are getting busy, huh?" will be leaving on a stretcher. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasdlm Posted March 12, 2012 Report Share Posted March 12, 2012 Dear Client: No, I will not just 'quickly glance over' the return you did on Turbo Tax just to make sure 'you didn't miss something major'. I am, however, glad to hear that doing taxes is really easy because all you have to do is 'punch in the numbers, and the computer does it for you'. Why don't you hang a shingle? Ever so sincerely . . . 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted March 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2012 Dear Client, You win the "Least Likely to Successfully Cheat Award" after giving me information from your mileage "log" that indicates that you have THREE business vehicles that get 2.7 - 4.1 miles per gallon. Congratulations. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted March 13, 2012 Report Share Posted March 13, 2012 Dear Client, For the nineteenth time, I do NOT know how to fill out the financial aid form for your sons' private school. I understand that the financial advisor who sent you to me is not in his office today. (He is probably hiding in the closet from your endless calls; he has already apologized profusely to me for sending you here.) However, that -still- doesn't make me suddenly able to help you with the financial aid forms. I truly cannot understand -why- the financial aid administrator at the school doesn't want to help you, either. It must be one of those mysteries. And not even that fact makes me suddenly able to assist you (for free!) with those forms. Have a great life. Preferably far from here. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joanmcq Posted March 13, 2012 Report Share Posted March 13, 2012 Dear client, I warned you when you came to me with your foreclosure through Bank of America that they were notorious for getting issues wrong. Since you cash-out refi'd, there should be a 1099-C in addition to the 1099-A they issued, which appears to have an incorrect FMV on it, especially since I looked online and it showed the property was sold for far less than the FMV they reported. No, I do not know of any way to force BofA to give you correct info or not drop your calls. Please do not rant on the phone to me regarding BofA. Outside of calling the state attorney general's office, I can't help you get the form, but I really do need to know if one was issued. Yes, I agree being told one was mailed to you on 2/28, and later being told one was not issued, and having other BofA employees confuse the form with a 1098 is frustrating. But don't rant to me. I already have an ulcer, and had to take an evening off due to a flare-up after your call. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray in Ohio Posted March 13, 2012 Report Share Posted March 13, 2012 Dear Client,(s) Since you all live within a couple miles from me, when I ask for your phone number, please do not start with the area code. I KNOW what your frikkin area code is. I could open up the window and yell at you, so yes, I know what area code you are from!!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michaelmars Posted March 13, 2012 Report Share Posted March 13, 2012 LOL you can't say that here in NY, my kids have different area codes than me, and we live in the same house.....with all the numbers here they keep creating new area codes and you get what you get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted March 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 13, 2012 Dear Client,(s) Since you all live within a couple miles from me, when I ask for your phone number, please do not start with the area code. I KNOW what your frikkin area code is. I could open up the window and yell at you, so yes, I know what area code you are from!!!! I know! I sit there not writing, and they stand there waiting for me to write, and it's the only area code in this town. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted March 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 13, 2012 Dear Client, Thanks for bringing in that sticker off your new windows that has the geographical area shaded that qualifies for the tax credit that you will not be receiving. Thanks for not noticing that our state is as white as the driven snow on there. Clear as a bell. Like an albino, actually. Enjoy your windows. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lion EA Posted March 13, 2012 Report Share Posted March 13, 2012 Dear Client, No, finding out today that you're leaving on vacation will not make me complete your returns this afternoon. It's already 5 p.m. Considering you booked your flights and hotel ages ago, why didn't you mention this when you dropped off your materials?! And, you definitely will NOT have your refund by tonight. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HV Ken Posted March 13, 2012 Report Share Posted March 13, 2012 Dear Client, I am sorry that you took a $50,000 early distribution from your retirement account and had just 10% taxes withheld to cover the penalty and that you did not consider (or your financial adviser did not explain the tax consequences) the Federal and State taxes on the distribution in addition to the penalty. I feel terrible that you now have a combined tax due that exceeds $10,000 and you don't have the money. Perhaps if you consulted with us prior to taking the distribution, we could have offered you advice to help, strategies, etc. Please stop yelling at me.... 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted March 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 Dear Client, Thanks for withdrawing $63,000 from your 401(k) and not having any taxes withheld. Yes, a $6,000 contribution to your IRA will probably take care of it. Be a wash, as you say. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack from Ohio Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 Dear Client, No, finding out today that you're leaving on vacation will not make me complete your returns this afternoon. It's already 5 p.m. Considering you booked your flights and hotel ages ago, why didn't you mention this when you dropped off your materials?! And, you definitely will NOT have your refund by tonight. Just received this in an e-mail... Names removed to protect the guilty!! <<<"I will be mailing in our tax info by the end of this week. I am planning a trip out of town April 11th thru the 18th. I know I have to sign our taxes before you electronically send them? My husband wanted to make sure that we will get them before I leave for out of town. Can you advise me on when I will be able to get the paperwork back, and or if I should postpone my trip. I realize I should have gotten you the info before now, I apologize for the lateness.">>> Ya just gotta love our clients!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fredazcpa Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 New phone message: Thank you for calling, I am not answering the phone today, the more time I spend on the phone ansereing, "How are you coming on my return" and then spending 10 min listeing to your need for the tax return because you have some bill that is due tommorow, and OH by the way you still need to get me ...... and once I get that information, which I told you about when you dropped off your work 3 weeks ago, then I will be done with your return in about anohter week. And by the time I talk with 25 to 30 calls, most of the day is gone, and I have not got a thing done So have a nice day, leave a message and I will call you back this evening before I close up for the day, hope you like phone calls after 9 pm It must be March Maddness 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schirallicpa Posted March 15, 2012 Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 Dear Client, I am sorry that you took a $50,000 early distribution from your retirement account and had just 10% taxes withheld to cover the penalty and that you did not consider (or your financial adviser did not explain the tax consequences) the Federal and State taxes on the distribution in addition to the penalty. I feel terrible that you now have a combined tax due that exceeds $10,000 and you don't have the money. Perhaps if you consulted with us prior to taking the distribution, we could have offered you advice to help, strategies, etc. Please stop yelling at me.... I have lost clients over such issues. It's always my fault that they had to pay tax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schirallicpa Posted March 15, 2012 Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 Dear client: If your dependent child has already filed their tax return on line, claiming themselves, so they can get their $39 refund check back because they didn't fill out their W-4 as exempt, that's your problem, and yes - you will pay for their amended return. And no, you can't efile now with them on your return. And yes - your refund will now take forever. Hey - he's your kid. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcjenkins Posted March 15, 2012 Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 ROTFLMAO PS: another good reason not to live in NY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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