Lee B Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 1. I filed an extension, so I don't need to pay anything now. 2. I had a big loss in the stock market, so I won't owe any taxes. 3. I got paid in cash, so I don't need to report it. 4. I'm too young to pay taxes. 5. Income earned outside the U S isn't taxable. 6. Tax Preparers just fill out forms that you can do yourself. Since a number of my clients are S Corporations and their owners, my favorite is, " I didn't take any distributions so I don't owe any taxes." Please feel free to add to the list. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jklcpa Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 7. I donated a brand new _____ (sofa, or whatever) a month ago to charity. It cost me $2,000 so that's what I can deduct. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILLMAS Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 8. Go to this place, they get you more money back. 9. If you fill out a 1040A you'll get more money back. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 10) I'm too old to pay taxes. 11) SS is not taxable, you don't need that form. (Uh, it's on a form... and hey, look - a worksheet on the back.) 12) Just put down the standard amount for donations. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jklcpa Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 13. I didn't sell the mutual fund and didn't get the money. All I did was transfer the money from one mutual fund to another, so I don't have to report that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcb39 Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 OMG! Every one of us has heard them all..............and more! Wait until they come in this year with all their knowledge about ACA. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abby Normal Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 14. I left all the dividends in my brokerage account so I never received that income. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 Wait until they come in this year with all their knowledge about ACA. Yeah, I'm pretty sure the Affordable Care Act is going to kill us all anyway. Which is ironic when you think about it... 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail in Virginia Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 15. But all the money in my 401(k) was money I put in - why should I have to pay taxes on it to get it out? 16. Just put down the same mileage as last year. 17. But the guy I work with makes the same thing I do and he gets a big refund. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 18) You don't need this info on my early withdrawal. They held out the taxes already. 19) Bet you are getting busy, huh? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILLMAS Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 20. You are not a cannibal tax accountant right? So you won't charge an arm and a leg right? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BulldogTom Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 21. So long as my cousin does not claim her kids, I can. Somebody has to claim them. Tom Newark, CA 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elrod Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail in Virginia Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 22. It must be nice to only work from January through April. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W Ristau CPA Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 23. I can't afford to have a CPA do my taxes. I'll go to Jackson Hewitt or H&R Block and save a lot of money to get my taxes done. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcb39 Posted January 6, 2015 Report Share Posted January 6, 2015 Are you a CPA? No, I am not (but I have several clients who are). If you really need a CPA, feel free to keep on looking. I just have one quick question My taxes are really easy this year 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HV Ken Posted January 7, 2015 Report Share Posted January 7, 2015 These are going to come in handy during my next several 60-second commercials at my weekly BNI meeting. Thanks for the list! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaraEA Posted January 7, 2015 Report Share Posted January 7, 2015 24. But the realtor told me I can deduct all my closing costs. (I'd love to lock all those realtors in a room and not let them out until they get it.) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted January 7, 2015 Report Share Posted January 7, 2015 I just have one quick question Yeah, and the question is always something like, "How do I do payroll?" Quick *question* but a three-week answer for the SHORT version! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted January 7, 2015 Report Share Posted January 7, 2015 I just have one quick question Or, "How should I fill out my W-2?" Yeah, they mean W-4, and you don't even prepare their taxes. They are too smart for that. Do it themselves. Chased you out the door of church cause you need quick questions on Sunday, too. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcb39 Posted January 7, 2015 Report Share Posted January 7, 2015 These two I actually heard already this year: My friend told me that if I put a magnetic sign on my car, I can deduct ALL of my mileage because I am constantly advertising everywhere I go. My friend told me that if I go to Virginia and do a show (Pampered Chef), I can deduct the cost of the entire trip. (from Wisconsin) I asked her if she just happened to have some friends or relatives in Virginia that she was going to visit. You all know that the answer was "Well, yes!" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILLMAS Posted January 7, 2015 Report Share Posted January 7, 2015 25. You must like math. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaB Posted January 7, 2015 Report Share Posted January 7, 2015 26. We didn't make any money. Just enough to pay our bills is all. (Yes, I heard this one from a business owner whose "bills" included Hummer, BMW, boat, food, utility, and mortgage payments. They had a rude awakening. Oh, and don't sign up for SS at age 62 when you make 100k.) 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cred65 Posted January 7, 2015 Report Share Posted January 7, 2015 29. How come I have to pay taxes, the rich don't pay any. How can I get a tax shelter like they do? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janitor Bob Posted January 7, 2015 Report Share Posted January 7, 2015 30. "Since I had my baby on January 01/07/15, I can use the "10-day grace period" rule and claim her as being born in 2014 on my taxes this year" 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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