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I am so far behind I don't know when I will see the light of day. I've lost count of how many returns have been dropped off and are waiting. I'm up 25% from last year - and I was up 45% last year from the previous year. Local CPA firm was acquired by a larger company and decided to double and sometimes triple their fees. It's been good for business. This is the last year I will attempt it as a one-woman operation. Next year I will be hiring some administrative help. But, hey, maybe there won't be a next year since I just received a text saying my mobile number had been randomly selected and I have won $2,000,000!

Yeah, I have sections in the yard by width and length, too. It's efficient use of plot space.

Little bitta this; little bitta that. Can't finish anything except small stuff. Half-a-dozen large cases are languishing on "hold" for a bit of information -- if they'd just call me back. My voice mail is on 24-7 (I'm not too far behind that myself) and this one nut swears he can't catch me in the office -- I tell him I'll give you 50 bucks if you can catch me out of the office. _________________________________________________ "All good things to those who wait." -- LONGFELLOW (and Dr. Hannibal Lecter).

Guy has called twice. I finally call him back. Is it ok for Mrs. Loaded to withdraw $80,000 from her annuity I manage in 2017? What do you mean, is it ok? It’s her money. Of course she can withdraw it. Well I just wanted to make sure it’s in line with your planning. My planning? Matt, she’s in the 25% bracket, that won’t go down because she has other investments that you don’t manage. So, whatever you do, whatever you do, withhold 25% so she won’t be in here crying at tax time like she was this year even though I told you to withhold 25% when we had this conversation last year. There is no crying in taxes unless it’s me. (Laughing) You are in the throes of tax season. Matt, I am in Affordable Care Act hell. Withhold 25%. Do it.

This made me think of the couple doing fertility treatments and he has court ordered child support payments to both first and second wives. You can't make this stuff up. Well, it also made me laugh at what a great picture you painted. I've never seen notes written on salami but I knew exactly what you meant.

Please add millennials whose voice mail box is too full for a message and don't respond to texts. I'm sorry, I don't understand the point of Snapchat and I know that they are smart enough to see a missed call.

I want to hug people who don't do email, don't text, no land line, and cell phone voice mail box has not been set up. Yeah, I want to reach out and touch somebody. Can you hear me now?

I just want one more person to say, "I didn't get that much out of it." One. More.

Not during or right after lunch; some of them will make you toss your cookies *while* you are laughing.

Mine? Wants to sell her business... Killing me to update her Qbooks Online accounting so she can send it to all the "prospective" buyers. So, I do all the updating... Did I tell you that anyone who uses the Qbooks Online Edition deserves a hug? Yes. Everyone. Send her an Email, ok, everything looks good, I can prep the corporate return now, and you can send that Qbooks info anywhere you want, but.... Why did you stop paying your sales tax in October? Her reply? "Oh, that? I started making all the "cash" deposits into a new and different account that I do not include in the QBO file...." Yes, she is 5'4" and wide. Rich

That dude it SCREWED. Offer in Compromise? When you are an @sshole Mortgage Broker? Yeah, right. Agree to the audit changes, expand it to years that are still open, and the understatement penalty, we are talking probably serious dollars here. And then OIC it all away??? Not going to happen. Some folks just need to get bent over. And I hope the IRS does and without any further lube. Rich

Water is your friend. Hydrate excessively, beginning at least 24 hours before you fly, sipping all during the flight, and continue into the day after. Some people suggest that the discomfort experienced from flying is primarily altitude sickness. The cabin is pressurized to 8,000 ft, so the closer to sea level one normally lives, the more pronounced the negative effects, even from a relatively short flight.

You probably don't actually want to know. Dangerous waters, those.

Or, if I can find your caller ID on the list ANY time in the last week...

I just think they never really know how good they have it having us taking care of them. That's the personalized service we give, there's very few of us left.

Seems like everybody (including the early birds) is coming in about a month slower that usual.

All I ask for is one simple request, "Don't leave me hanging." Got one now who is a clinical therapist for wayward boys, keeps disappearing on me. So disorganized it looks like the sporadic notes she mails me were written on a salami. She's retiring this year so she can become, get this, a Life Coach! Tony Robbins has nothing to worry about.

I'm so far behind that one of my staff members commented this morning 'I don't ever remember the waiting queue being this long'. 9 boxes. She didn't mean it unkindly, but . . .

What???? Don't sell yourself or your talents short, Jack. We all bring something of value to the party, and that and each of our willingness to help fellow members is a big part of what I love about the group.

I think we need a topic just for clients who need a Rita-hug. Here's my offering for today. Client is late & I had just about figured he had forgotten. Get an email "on my way; be there in 10 minutes!" Shows up - big box of tax stuff he grabbed on the way out is NOT the big box of tax stuff, but just random family papers. Spends almost FORTY-FIVE minutes here, going through the same wrong pile over and again while apologizing for grabbing the wrong box. I just got rid of the guy. It's OK to kill this client. Yes? (Or at least, hike his bill WAY up!)

I received the email below from my state society of CPAs. It's probably only a matter of time before the scammers try this same tactic with other professional organizations as well. PHISHING ALERT FROM IRS We have been informed that there is a new email phishing scam that appears to be sending an email from a state CPA organization. The email contains a PDF attachment that claims to be a “Secured File.” The attachment contains a hyperlink to view the file that the recipient is directed to open. The link directs the recipient to a phishing site that asks for the recipient's email address and password. Please be advised that the DSCPA NEVER requests your password. If you are ever concerned about an email that you receive from us, please contact us immediately. You can email . We hope that you are not affected by this phishing scam, but if you do receive this phishing email, do not open it and let us know immediately. Thank you.

I truly think they forget about us. All their docs are out of the house, so out of sight out of mind. Then it hits them...."oh ship, I forgot to call Bill with that, er...now what did he want? I'll call tomorrow and find out, I don't feel like working right now...oh, there's my keys."

The most annoying yet amusing convo of the week so far was talking to a mortgage broker, not a client. blah, blah, blah convo... and then this: Broker: ... I prepare my own return and take lots of deductions (yeah, I bet!) and am actually going through an audit right now, and it's not too bad. The agents are really great. Me, rolling my eyes at all of that and thinking again "yeah, I bet": Oh, that's good to hear. Broker: Yes, the agent said if I wasn't an @$$hole to them, they wouldn't be to me. They told me that I didn't need to hire a tax person to represent me because it would just cost me a lot more in fees, so I'm doing an offer in compromise myself that some professional would probably charge me thousands of dollars to prepare two sheets of paper. Me: Well alright then, that's great. I'm really glad to hear you are having a good experience with your audit. Good luck to you with that! Guy was a total ass and doesn't have a clue that he's being audited because of "lots of deductions".

I know about hydration and altitude; getting that clue was what suddenly turned our trips to NM (Los Alamos is at 7300 feet) from exhausted-headachey the whole time to a few hours of reminding myself not to run. It's not altitude sickness; it's my inner ear fighting with my eyes, because they are telling me that we are moving up, down, sideways, etc., while my eyes are telling me nope we're staying in one place. Plus the overall pressure changes. Years and years ago, I would get a migraine every time a low-pressure storm system moved through the area. But thank you - and I will try that!

This reminds me of people of Walmart, if you need a good laugh google People of Walmart

I love that if you are considered about the legitimacy of an email you receive, you can email your state organization. Does any one see any irony here? Or maybe it's just me.....

Most of what I believe to be true about flying comfort comes from a pro sports team physician who flew with the teams a lot. His flying rules, which I follow rigorously, were: 1) Hydration - top priority before, during, and after; 2) No alcohol of any kind; 3) No carbonated beverages of any kind; 4) No sleep aids of any kind. He had even more stringent rules for long-haul flights. I always board any flight with at least 1 liter of water per 2 hours, taken in little sips. (I never depend on the flight attendants to provide enough water, although I always ask for it when they come around for cabin service to supplement my own supply, and I go to the galley & ask them to refill my bottle when it gets low on very long flights). We lose fluid via skin evaporation in the arid cabin air, but even if the excess water causes frequent trips to the restroom, that's ok too since moving about is helpful in avoiding DVT (along with mandatory compression sleeves). Sounds like your problem may be complicated by something similar to vertigo. Hope you complete the trip without too much discomfort.

I thought I would go for maximum effect, even scribbling is more readable than writing on a salami. Sometimes there are doodles on her papers, wonder what she's thinking about?

I am just guessing here, but I bet most strippers have more nerve than I do!

But she was getting $600 to prep that return! Raise your fees! If a stripper can bill it, so can you!

Here you go... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Blm97aYDllg The fun starts at 1:12... A Fee Dispute on "Judge Faith" Rich

Yeah, I know, so I'm doing the whole memorializing the conversation CMA and sending both him and Mrs. Loaded a copy.

You know, of course, that he will NOT. He needs a hug from you, dear one.

Drastically increase your income stream from him, file an extension and ignore him till AFTER your summer vacation. I grow weary of having tax experience and knowledge and being reduced to a baby sitter for incompetent adults. It is a reason I love being in this group because I am one of the least experienced people here and am among people who do NOT NEED tended to like little children.

My policy is that I must be the one to initiate contact. For what you received this morning, I would telephone my bank using a known and valid phone number from either my bank statement or back of my credit card. It's pretty much the same policy for the telephone fundraising calls and for sales and marketing calls too. If the initial contact is made by someone else telling me that I should do something, it's not happening.

This morning, I received a security alert from Bank of America regarding my credit card, which was a scam. When I logged into this site, I got a popup warning that this link was not secure ! How do you know what's secure or safe and what isn't ? Supposedly, 80 % of all internet traffic is now spam, phishing, hacks etc. If this continues, it could bring the the internet as we know it crashing down, because we won't know what to trust. We may end up retreating to fax machines and snail mail.

Raise your hand if you'd rather take a beating or reprint the whole %^&$ return than to give this form to a client. I'll never forget the time one of my most irritating clients came back in the next day to interrogate me over that form. At the end of that meeting, I said, "You can bet you will never get a $1 break on SE tax again."

"Licensed tax preparer and adult entertainer" - now THAT is a combination you don't see too often! (Thank heavens?)

In the middle of an audit he's writing up an OIC? jeeze. I'm no OIC expert and they can be done easily with an online service but mid-audit? Yeah - no.

A client had him call because she could not grasp the concept about her FHA mortgage insurance up-front fee on the 1098 being added to her loan, and I wasn't able to make sense of what she was even talking about the way she was relaying what he told her. I guess it took both of us before she understood how that works. I really needed that whole time wasting call today.

Hang in there, Catherine.

I have no idea if I am behind or ahead - but by Tuesday, I *will* be behind. We lost my husband's aunt last fall, and the cousins scheduled her memorial service for THIS Saturday, in St Louis MO. So we'll be flying out Friday and back Sunday and somewhere between now and then I have to find time to get the hair colored because the grey racing stripe is now an entire sub-continent on my head. And I have Monday scheduled as "out" because about half the time I fly I end up with a nasty migraine and so cannot schedule for the day after. Taking a chance on the memorial service being a day after flying but I can always sit in the back looking pale and wan.

That's exactly what I did. B of A told me they don't send emails like that and then I forwarded the email to [email protected], so they can try to track it back to it's origin.

Go be amused. YouTube video of SIX country songs, all mashed together. Beautifully done, very funny - you'll love it whether you love or detest country music. Three and a half minutes total. Six-song mashup

I always work through the 8853 which eventually puts it as non taxable. but also most of the ltc insurance policies I have seen reimburse on a per diem ......so just to be safe I put the 8853 in the return

Here's a selfie. I need a shower and a haircut for sure. Haha, I crack myself up...or I'm cracking up....