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Sometimes when I try to explain something in the tax code to a client they accuse me of speaking a foreign language.

Last man who tried to get funny with me was some years ago at a contra dance. The father of one of my older daughter's best friends, too (the sleazebucket). I managed to avoid him by "accidentally" stumbling, and elbowed him in the gut at the same time. I apologized for the elbow with a BIG smile. Funny how he never tried again.

so in our spare time, we milk -well my husband and a few crew - I gave it up this year - milk sheep! And to our recipe/formula, a creamery in WI makes the cheese with cultures from his business - Chr Hansen, We make Ewemazing, Lacey Lamb and when it ages we call it Lovely Lamb as the "lace" goes away The World Cheese Championship contest judging was held yesterday and today - and we won in our class!!! whooo eee ! a nice continental flavor, mellow,snacking considered hard cheese like a cheddar type but all white - like sheeps' milk - rich, creamy - yum Now to sell it all!! Taking orders!

I hope kidding is forever allowed. Life would be a lot less fun without it!

As a man, I have had women touch my arm, rub my chest, touch or pull my hair, hug me from behind with no warning and even smack my butt. I understand as a man I (usually) am in a position of power (physically, emotionally, etc.) so my reaction to these things is way different than a woman's would be. And, none of these things rose to a sexual level, in my mind.

Ok, since we are reminiscing, some years ago in NYC I would pick up and drop off returns to some clients. There was a client Vivian, about 20 years older that me (I was in my late 30s), we always kissed and hugged each other, we had a nice relationship,. I would go there around lunchtime because she would make me peppers and eggs with crusty Tuscan bread, only cooked that for me and the local priest. One time she got a little rambunctious and all I said was, we have a good relationship, let's not complicate it. Do you think I wanted to give up those peppers and eggs? No way.

after two angry /"ungrateful" clients yesterday, my husband reminded me I could pick and chose - that is why I am in business for myself.. I can be sweet and forget to mail /email them their organizer or if I do not value my time and talents - how can I expect them to?

ya got an email from PB< sending my new postal meter as mine is now obsolete and by the way price went up also... and when it comes today, we need at least 3 people to learn how to run it for 90 minutes! I replied - ha ha - not until after April 18th, tax office! Well it came, she said let it sit and now I can use the obsolete one - I wonder how long at the old lower price... hhmmmm Then my front desk person took the angry call - you so messed up - we got our check by mail , not direct deposit - and hung up - went online - IRS said - guess what, you were set up for DD but couldn't do that so mailed your check - My fault? I cannot control everything!!! Take a breath..

Exactly. That's why I raised my rates on 1041s for trusts and estates this year. The lawyers just pay whatever I bill and no one ever complains.

Oh, yes. I NEED laughter, especially during tax season!

Is it hot in here or just you guys? Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding, just kidding

Let's just say my fees are a small fraction compared to the attorney's

We preparers have to start charging more like lawyers!

Hahahaha, well, I did recall after I posted that a jack@$$ smacked a body part of mine in Wal-Mart one time. I was so shocked I couldn't do anything. He continued on his way with a big smile on his face. It was a very brief encounter and I escaped unscathed. So did he. I am laughing so hard right now. I cannot wait to meet you, too, Gail! And everybody else! I hope everyone is bringing family, too. My kids are gonna love this.

Rita, I am pretty sure that someone who mistreated you would soon find themselves "hugged" and in the back 40. I can't wait to meet you in person in June.

I believe Judy was just clarifying for the folks who were sad for BHoffman or angry at her doofus client in her first post. I know Tom almost wrecked my world the first week of star search by posting a sad face. I still love him; things happen. BTW, I actually agree with a lot of what you said, but I'm pretty sure your stats are off, because I can honestly say I have not been mistreated because I am a woman, nor do I hope to be. There are stupid people who mistreat everybody, but smart people ignore that as much as possible.

I am not taking the bait and telling you that I know how obviously brilliant you are and how giving of your time you are for the betterment of all on this board and how wonderful it is to have you here and how much better all of us are because you exist (takes breath). As true as that statement is, I would never lower myself to sucking up to get a gold star. No sir....not me. I would not try to fool that brilliant mind of yours in any way or try to gain any type of favors from you because you are way too smart and would see right through the attempt because you are so smart and brilliant and wonderful. Besides, I don't have a great story this week, and I don't want to go up against a ninja paper cutter. Tom Modesto, CA

I just received a call from a client asking me what can he do if his landlord is entering his shop and triggering the alarm (10 minute call)

AMEN!!! As the Queen of Snarky Comments, I would be in BIG trouble if kidding was not allowed.

Exactly! I even had a client tell me that her lawyer charges her when she calls him, so she calls me instead. With her legal questions! We gotta raise our fees!

Does he actually write her a check each month, or was a QDRO put in place at the time of the divorce so ex receives her check directly from the plan?

I agree with Rita - been doing it that way for years and the Jan update class finally taught it!!

Just received the following phone call: Caller - "May I speak to Gina please" Me - "This is she" Caller - "This is Donna from Curves. I'm just calling to let you know if you come in before 5 p.m. tomorrow you can join Curves for only $5. Are you interested in setting up an appointment for tomorrow?" Me - (trying not to laugh out loud while munching on a bag of cheddar puffcorn and slurping an orange Fanta) "Uh, I am doing income taxes. It's only March 7th. I will not see the light of day until sometime after April 17th, so thanks but I think I will have to pass." Caller (now identified as Donna) - click......

I don't know how people can face themselves in the mirror in the morning after ripping off an old woman like that. Sure, I've filed 706's for a slew of reasons (starting SOL if nothing else, at times). So charging her for some work, fine. But $4,500 for nothing but copies of papers she already had, plus blank tax forms? Sometimes I wish public flogging would come back into vogue. As for your comments, @Lion EA - YES we have to charge more. Plus tell them that we charge for all the questions they are not asking their lawyers - only after telling them we are NOT lawyers, we don't play lawyers on television, and we don't give legal advice. There is frequently a lot of money (and tax) issues caught in legal issues. I talk to clients about the tax and finance portion and send 'me back to their pricey lawyers for the legal part.

Over the years, I have been redirected at least 6 or 7 times to a third party website, which leads me to believe that ATX has been using a third party to host their board. Apparently this third party is overseas, perhaps in Bangalore.

What if she wins the lottery? Her 90 year old sister leaves all her millions to her the day before she passes away?

Do you have an hourly fee? If not figure it based on what you charge for complex returns/hours you spend on complex returns. I'd probably not charge for any research I needed for my own general knowledge that can be used on other 1041s or other returns/questions in my practice. (Show everything on the bill, but then apply a discount.) But, I would charge for research specific to only that 1041. Also, know in your own mind what your minimum is, the amount below which you never want to see that client again. Hand the client the bill and act like you expect payment. If they balk, you can offer to increase the discount because they're a continuing client or organized or nice or have multiple family returns or it's Wednesday or whatever. If you have to go below your minimum, fire the client as soon as the check clears. If this is a one-time client anyway (estate, no other family as clients) I start with NO discounts at all. If you gave him a quote, don't be afraid to go above it if the work increased from what he originally outlined. Explain what changed to increase the time and work. (If you're not done yet, stop to call him to explain what's changed and what your new quote is.)

Only qualified expenses paid with after tax funds can be used for education credit / tuition and fees deduction purposes. That is correct. I figure out what qualified expenses they paid with after tax dollars (yes, there are strategies) and enter that number in the input sheet in Box 1 "payments received" if it's tuition, or at the bottom for fee and books. I am not doing what the worksheets want me to do, but I know what I'm trying to say on the tax return.

Nothing surprises me these days. My cousin is assistant to CIO for a big insurance company and the horror stories as to what is going on makes me want to work in a concrete bunker 20 feet underground. Also, a friend of mine is retired Homeland Security, from what he tells me you can't take enough precautions.

Generally For military retirement divorce, the spouse pays the ex for a few months and then the payment is made directly from DFAS (Defense Finance Accounting Service). You will want to look at the Retiree Account statement. This will show an amount deducted as FORMER SPOUSE DED. it is on the right hand side of the page. How long have they been divorced? I have people who have been divorced for over 20 years and they are all paid directly from DFAS. It would be very unusual for him to still be paying her directly after the first few months. I'm not saying it can't happen, but it is not the norm.

Possibly except she's 83 years old and they won't ever come even remotely close because of the trusts. Their entire net worth outside of the trust is maybe $1.5 million and $500k of that is in an IRA. They have about $6 million in their trusts between the two.

Thank you Judy. Your knowledge and willingness to take the time to share is commendable.

I was just writing it up, if it's alimony it will be written as such in the divorce decree. I've never heard of dividing the pension and calling it alimony because she would lose her right to receive it if he died. The QDRO would guarantee her the benefit for HER life - not his. If nothing else, ask the divorce attorney. Most states limit alimony to just a few years and instead divide assets to adjust accordingly.

This sort of engagement, knowing ahead of time that it would involve extensive amount of time should have had a signed engagement letter specifying compensation terms, so this dispute wouldn't come up after the fact.

How much does a car cost? The answer depends on the description of the car - new car, used car, manufacturer make, model, year, options included, 2 door, 4 door, etc. How much was the value of the assets? That should impact on the fee charged. How much would you charge a client for that billable time under normal conditions? What issues had to get resolved in completing the return - multiple sets of similar information, or highly technical tax issues involving discretion or decision making on specific special conditions that would/could cause IRS or state audit disputes?

I agree with you. Because both parents are deceased, based on the instructions for line 29 and the chart for "single" filing status, it appears that this child should be allowed the full AMT exemption that should bring the AMTI to zero on this specific return. Is the program calculating the AMT because it is limiting the exemption because of her age? Do you have a checkbox or any way to auto-generate a statement that the exemption should not be limited. If not, I'd be attaching an explanation to send with the return and would be readily available if/when the IRS tries to assess the additional tax.

Hah! Got it! Recalling that the 2441 fields were blue (can fill in) I just typed in child's information. If taken as dependent, that fills in automatically. How grateful that I can still learn something new!

This is a shot in the dark, but if you have dependent living with taxpayer less than seven months, that might be the problem.

Male client who just picked up said, "Love you, Sara." I've been called worse. Not a bad Wednesday so far.

We just figured out that our vacation coincides with the royal wedding. We planned our trip before the date was announced. So we will be at Windsor Castle the day after the wedding. I hope the world is not excited about this wedding and don't flood London while we are there. We are also planning to see Dover and Canterbury while we are there. My biggest disappointment when we went last time was Stonehenge. If you have been to Yosemite, the rocks at Stonehenge just are not that impressive compared to El Capitan and Half Dome. Just my opinion. Wishing you a wonderful trip Bonnie. Tom Modesto, CA

What a terrible waste of prime office real estate. That's where my desk would be.

There are a lot of men that will stand up and with you too, many of them are right here. But I see here I don't have to worry about any of you, you can handle yourselves well and not take any ship from anyone. Joint locking techniques and killing with paper cuts? I would be careful if I was one of your clients. PS. Don't forget the deadly triangle if things get rough. A swift jab with the base of your hand under their nose will stop them in their tracks. I can't believe we're talking about killing our clients, hugs anyone? NON-VOTING POST

I and my cohort think of our clients as family. It is sad when we lose 1. As said previously our clients tend to rely on us for more than just tax prep. Anyway group hugs for EVERYBODY. Is it june yet?

This may depend on state law. Here in MA, they are really strict about what constitutes child support versus alimony, and it has to be spelled out in the decree. The state will consider payments as child support if they can be tied in any way to child milestones, even if it is called alimony. So decrees here tend to be *very* specific.

@jklcpa You are killing me with those tears.... Tom Modesto, CA

I could use those in my office. Would make it easier for my clients to see their contributions and business mileage figures when I ask about them and the client looks up to the ceiling to read off the amounts.

Well, I'm not a programmer but I'll take a wild guess that it is flowing there because it is an item listed on the depreciation schedule, however that doesn't make it the correct reporting. All of the programs I've used over the years allow some flexibility by providing the preparer with check boxes to stop some items on the depreciation schedule from flowing to the wrong form, line, or section of a form, and will be labeled something like "do not include on 4797" or "not sec 1245 property", etc. If the loan was paid off in a transaction that was not part of the sale, we wouldn't even be having this discussion, and all should agree that the proper reporting would be to deduct the remaining unamortized balance on Sch E in the year of payoff. This is no different except that the loan's payoff affected the final net cash due to/from the seller because it was included in the sale's settlement transaction. As I said before, it's an item that the law specifically says is NOT basis, nor is it an improvement or an expense of sale, so I see no justification for reporting it on the 4797. And as John said, in some cases, it may make a difference on some returns.

Suck ups! You are just trying to get the gold star this week. Tom Modesto, CA

I agree with Abby that the proper reporting is as he described. Points aren't part of basis, so I'd say that they don't belong on the 4797. The amortization of points is an expense that is deducted ratably over time, again not part of basis. The law says that remaining unamortized points are to be deducted when the related loan terminates by events such as payoff, refi, foreclosure.

Mine's not tax related. When I work, I have my back to the client. My computer table is behind my desk. I have a beautiful ivy plant on the corner of my desk and when it got too long, I just took the end and looped it back up to make it look fuller. When I was finished her return, I turned around and she tells me she's 'untangled' my ivy plant, removed the dead leaves and now it's draped down onto the floor. (Oh. Gee. Thanks?) The icing on the cake was she wore one of those sickeningly sweet perfumes that older ladies like, and it irritated my throat and made me cough. I asked to please not wear perfume in my office because I have asthma. She sniffed herself and said she only put on a few drops. I think they become immune to the smell and just put more and more on every time. She perfumed our restroom so much that it still smelled several hours later. But I really wanted to tell her to LEAVE MY FRICKIN' PLANT ALONE!